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Adrian Mole's "Secret Diary" Is Dead Good

by David Sherwin

 

Friday, October 31 (Hallowe'en)
Am bored at work and decide to do a general Google search on European Atari games. Spot several web sites devoted to Level 9 Computing, a former English software house, and peruse listed titles. What's this? "The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Age 13 3/4" was made into a computer game, and for the Atari 8-bit computers? Recall hating this book as a teenager, as parents would often gleefully refer to book when describing pecularities of own teenaged habits. Decide that I will review game and savagely expose its faults and weaknesses. Will finally get revenge. Ha, ha! Remember that it was never reviewed in "Analog" or "Antic", and is therefore probably crap anyway.

Nir Dary promises to put game on multi-cart since I can no longer get it on tape.

Saturday, November 8
Am waiting for game to arrive from Israel and go back to Level 9 tribute site. Read accolades posted for game, and remember that book was repeated in tone and spirit in "Bridget Jones' Diary".  Am thinking that either the sexual tastes and moral ethics of 30 year-old women and pubescent boys are the same, or that "Bridge Jones" was written by a fourteen year-old boy. Am finding both thoughts highly disturbing and promise self not to think of them again.

Tuesday, November 11 (Remembrance Day (Canada), Veterans' Day (US))
Where's the damn game?

Thursday, November 27
I complain to my sister about the vagaries of the international postal system. She states that I should be concentrating on my work and not be worrying about an 18-year-old computer game that was never released in North America. I decide that my family and friends cannot appreciate the wonders of computer entertainment and will keep game to myself when it arrives.

Monday, December 1
The multi-cart has arrived, but it's not working! Am thinking about sending official complaint to Israeli embassy in Ottawa, but will probably try to clean the contacts instead.

Tuesday, December 2
I spend three hours cleaning the cartridge contacts, but the computer screen remains blank. I end up dropping cartridge on floor while trying to carefully examine bottom. Cartridge cracks in half and I find that a wire has been dislodged in transit. I curse international shipping, re-solder wire, and find I am too tired to play game.

Thursday, December 4
"Adrian Mole" is broken down into four parts, which probably correspond to each original cassette side. Am finding the game less like a text adventure than an interactive novel, and am disconcerted by logic-tree format of gaming structure. Did I not leave multiple-choice quizzes behind in school? And who created those game score categories? I attain score of "Namby-Pamby Youth" before giving up.

Am not sure that I like game, and consider fact that I finish the first part in an hour to be a sign of limited nature of "Adrian Mole".

Thursday, December 4 (midnight)
I decide to sacrifice my valuable sleep time to the greater good of working on game review and force myself to finish the second part of the game. I grudgingly admit to self that in-game text is very faithful to original novel and that the simple drawn graphics accurately reflect the illustrations in the Townsend novel. I note that illustration of Adrian's attempts to paint over the Noddy wallpaper with black latex is not included, and note so that points can be taken off total score.

Saturday, December 6
Am beginning to realize that multiple-choice gaming format is brilliant extension of novel's psyche and that it truly enables players to identify with Mole and Co. Also am finding that crude computer graphics complement tone of work as well as spirit of original drawings. I briefly think about re-considering initial opinion, but then reject it.

Sunday, December 7
Spent the weekend justifying extended computer gaming time to family, I reject sister's claim that I have thoroughly tested game on the basis that I have now played it three times. I point out that logic-tree format ensures a different playing experience, with different responses, on each occasion, but she shakes her head and insists I change out of my pyjamas and go for a walk. Some people just have no appreciation for hard work and the thought of personal sacrifice.

Monday, December 8
I go back to the Level 9 web site at work and find that "The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole" was also made into a computer game, but Level 9 did not port it to the Atari computers. How is it possible that a Spectrum owner could be more worthy than I? How could they do this?

I look back over the past week and am ashamed to see my lack of fidelity to my original principles. I curse fact that I played "Adrian Mole" at all, and regretfully admit to self that it is one of the best examples of humour/interactive fiction ever produced for the Atari computers. I decide not to betray self by writing game review; no one would read it, anyway.

 

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MyAtari magazine - Feature #7, December 2003

 
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