Adrian
Mole's "Secret Diary" Is Dead Good
by David Sherwin
Friday, October
31 (Hallowe'en) Am bored at work and
decide to do a general Google search on European
Atari games. Spot several web sites devoted to
Level 9 Computing, a former English software
house, and peruse listed titles. What's this?
"The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Age 13
3/4" was made into a computer game, and
for the Atari 8-bit computers? Recall hating
this book as a teenager, as parents would often
gleefully refer to book when describing pecularities
of own teenaged habits. Decide that I will review
game and savagely expose its faults and weaknesses.
Will finally get revenge. Ha, ha! Remember that
it was never reviewed in "Analog"
or "Antic", and is therefore probably
crap anyway.
Nir Dary promises
to put game on multi-cart since I can no longer
get it on tape.
Saturday,
November 8 Am waiting for game to arrive
from Israel and go back to Level 9 tribute site.
Read accolades posted for game, and remember
that book was repeated in tone and spirit in
"Bridget Jones' Diary". Am thinking
that either the sexual tastes and moral ethics
of 30 year-old women and pubescent boys are
the same, or that "Bridge Jones" was
written by a fourteen year-old boy. Am finding
both thoughts highly disturbing and promise
self not to think of them again.
Tuesday, November
11 (Remembrance Day (Canada), Veterans'
Day (US)) Where's the damn
game?
Thursday,
November 27 I complain to my sister about
the vagaries of the international postal system.
She states that I should be concentrating on
my work and not be worrying about an 18-year-old computer game that was never released
in North America. I decide that my family and
friends cannot appreciate the wonders of computer
entertainment and will keep game to myself when
it arrives.
Monday, December
1 The multi-cart has arrived, but it's
not working! Am thinking about sending official
complaint to Israeli embassy in Ottawa, but
will probably try to clean the contacts instead.
Tuesday, December
2 I spend three
hours cleaning the cartridge contacts, but the
computer screen remains blank. I end up dropping
cartridge on floor while trying to carefully
examine bottom. Cartridge cracks in half and
I find that a wire has been dislodged in transit.
I curse international shipping, re-solder wire,
and find I am too tired to play game.
Thursday, December
4 "Adrian
Mole" is broken down into four parts, which
probably correspond to each original cassette
side. Am finding the game less like a text adventure
than an interactive novel, and am disconcerted
by logic-tree format of gaming structure. Did
I not leave multiple-choice quizzes behind in
school? And who created those game score categories?
I attain score of "Namby-Pamby Youth"
before giving up.
Am not sure that
I like game, and consider fact that I finish
the first part in an hour to be a sign of limited
nature of "Adrian Mole".
Thursday, December
4 (midnight) I decide to sacrifice
my valuable sleep time to the greater good of
working on game review and force myself to finish
the second part of the game. I grudgingly admit
to self that in-game text is very faithful to
original novel and that the simple drawn graphics
accurately reflect the illustrations in the
Townsend novel. I note that illustration of
Adrian's attempts to paint over the Noddy wallpaper
with black latex is not included, and note so
that points can be taken off total score.
Saturday, December
6 Am beginning
to realize that multiple-choice gaming format
is brilliant extension of novel's psyche and
that it truly enables players to identify with
Mole and Co. Also am finding that crude computer
graphics complement tone of work as well as
spirit of original drawings. I briefly think
about re-considering initial opinion, but then
reject it.
Sunday, December
7 Spent the weekend
justifying extended computer gaming time to
family, I reject sister's claim that I have
thoroughly tested game on the basis that I have
now played it three times. I point out that
logic-tree format ensures a different playing
experience, with different responses, on each
occasion, but she shakes her head and insists
I change out of my pyjamas and go for a walk.
Some people just have no appreciation for hard
work and the thought of personal sacrifice.
Monday, December
8 I go back to
the Level 9 web site at work and find that "The
Growing Pains of Adrian Mole" was also
made into a computer game, but Level 9
did not port it to the Atari computers. How
is it possible that a Spectrum owner could be
more worthy than I? How could they do this?
I look back over
the past week and am ashamed to see my lack
of fidelity to my original principles. I curse
fact that I played "Adrian Mole" at
all, and regretfully admit to self that it is
one of the best examples of humour/interactive
fiction ever produced for the Atari
computers. I decide not to betray self by writing
game review; no one would read it, anyway.
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