ON{lp N ON Oo @`! #@%`')P-/1 3@5`79?A C@E`GIKMOQ S@aW[]_a c@e`gikmoq s@u`wy{} @` @ ` @ ` O ` @ ` ǀ ɠ @ ` ׀ ٠  @` @`!Aa   !Aa!!#A%a')+-/1!3A5a79;=?A!CAEaGsKMOQ!SAUaWY[]_a!cAeagikmoq!Ouawy{}!Aa!Aa!Aa!Aa!Aaǁɡ!Aaׁ١!Aa!Aa " B b  !"!B!b!!!!!"!""#B"%b"'")"+"-"/#1"#3B#5b#7#9#;#=?$A"$CB$Eb$G$I$K$M$O%Q"%SB%Ub%W%Y%[%]%_&a"&cB&eb&g&i&k&m&o'q"'sB'ub'w'y'{'}'("(B(b((((()")B)b))))*"*B*b*****+"+B+b+++++,",B,b,Oo @`! #@%`')P-/1 3@5`79?A C@E`GIKMOQ S@aW[]_a c@e`gikmoq s@u`wy{} @` @ ` @ ` O ` @ ` ǀ ɠ @ ` ׀ ٠  @` @`!Aa   !Aa!!#A%a')+-/1!3A5a79;=?A!CAEaGsKMOQ!SAUaWY[]_a!cAeagikmoq!Ouawy{}!Aa!Aa!Aa!Aa!Aaǁɡ!Aaׁ١!Aa!Aa " B b  !"!B!b!!!!!"!""#B"%b"'")"+"-"/#1"#3B#5b#7#9#;#=?$A"$CB$Eb$G$I$K$M$O%Q"%SB%Ub%W%Y%[%]%_&a"&cB&eb&g&i&k&m&o'q"'sB'ub'w'y'{'}'("(B(b((((()")B)b))))*"*B*b*****+"+B+b+++++,",B,b,JOKES  rt CHECKERS  t +JOKES PRG t *! PRG t -JOKES DAT tt I PRG t / PRG 5t 1 PRG Tt 3 PRG 1t 5 PRG t 7OKESOK PRG Ht 9DESKTOP INF $t ;ALMANAC  -t <ALMANAC PRG t >SHOWME TXT wt ONCEPT  t LM PRG +t  V t DDD DDD t ~.  r t..  r tJOKES MEN tt MANUAL  vt 0SEXIST  yt {ETHNIC  }t ;lQUOTES  t YfGENERAL t ALIAS NAM )t 2$'  Desk Options Selections Help About Hippo Jokes - Desk Accessory 1 Desk Accessory 2 Desk Accessory 3 Desk Accessory 4 Desk Accessory 5 Desk Accessory 6 Substitutions Printer - Quit PG jokes OK R jokes OK X jokes OK- Sexist jokes OK Ethnic jokes OK- Long Short- Set Keyword- Jokes Quotes Show Manual  P P ! $ +  5  B% P   I ^ s %$,<KYk| ! " # $  && % 3>3aLN^NuNV3v# >4a,N^NuNV3v>5aN^NuNV#>6a n 0 n0 n0 n0B@09N^NuNV3v3 x3 z3|>Fa n0 n0B@09N^NuNV3v3 x3 z3|3~333>Ga0 n0 n0B@09N^NuNV3v3 x3 z3|3~3>HaN^NuNV3v3 x3 z3|3~333>IaN^NuNV3v3 x3 z3|3~333>Ja4N^NuNV#3 x3 HIPPO JOKES & QUOTES MANUAL - NOTE: You may print out this manual by first selecting the PRINT function under the OPTIONS menu. INTRODUCTION - Hippo's Outrageous Jokes & Quotes is a collection of funny, silly, rude (even offensive) and useful puns, jokes, and quotes. You can select particular types of jokes, search for jokes or quotes based on keywords, or even ask the computer a joke. Be sure to have fun with Hippo's Jokes & Quotes, and don't take it too seriously. "He laughs best who laughs last"  - Old English proverb USING JOKES & QUOTES ! - 0 First, use the SELECTIONS menu to select what type of information you want. You can then begin to see jokes or quotes (depending on your menu selections) by simply hitting the RETURN key. Some jokes will wait for you to hit the RETURN key again before it will display the punch line. You can continue to hit the RETURN key to keep seeing more information which meets the selection criteria (PG, R, X, Long, etc...). Sometimes looking through the data which meets the selected criteria may take sometime. You may abort searches by depressing the mouse button. If you have set a keyword to be matched against, then each time you hit the RETURN key it will search through the data looking for lines which meet the selection criteria AND meet the keyword search criteria. You can turn the keyword-search off by simply entering a null keyword (e.g. hit return when it asks you for the keyword). Instead of hitting the RETURN key, you can also type in a joke. The computer will then search the files selected (selected from the SELECTIONS menu) for a joke which closely matches your joke request. If it doesn't find the exact joke, it will often find a close one. This searching may take as long as several minutes (HINT: Use a ramdisk!). Again, you may abort searches by depressing the mouse button. THE OPTIONS MENU $ - ) SUBSTITUTIONS - Allows you to alias (or replace) certain censored words. Your new word list is saved on disk, so that you only have to replace those words once. You can update your own word list at any time. y PRINTER - Allows you to toggle the printer on or off. When selected, all text will be sent to the printer in draft quality. You can print this manual by first selecting the printer, then by showing this manual. QUIT - Returns you to the desktop. See other documentation on how the desktop works. The desk- top is shipped with this disk to allow as much room as possible on the disk for joke data.  THE SELECTIONS MENU - PG JOKES OK-Selects PG - rated jokes (if jokes is enabled). R JOKES OK-Selects R - rated jokes (if jokes is enabled). X JOKES OK-Selects X - rated jokes (if jokes is enabled). SEXIST JOKES OK - Includes sexist jokes (if jokes /is enabled). ETHNIC JOKES OK - Includes ethnic jokes (if jokes /is enabled). LONG - Selects long (over 80 char.) jokes & quotes. SHORT - Selects short jokes & quotes. SET KEYWORD - Sets a single - word (or partial word) /key search. JOKES - Enables jokes. QUOTES - Enables quotes. Either Jokes or Quotes (or both) must be selected. Either Long or Short (or both) must be selected. At least one of PG, R, or X (or any combination of) must be selected when JOKES is enabled. Optionally, you may elect Sexist or Ethnic jokes to be included in the jokes. You can turn the keyword- search off by simply entering a null keyword (e.g. hit return when it asks you for the keyword). THE HELP MENU - You may display this manual when you are using the program. You may print out this manual by first selecting the PRINT function under the SELECTIONS menu. USING A RAMDISK - If you have an extended ST with 512K or more of memory, you can speed up the program by copying the "jokes" program and the "jokes folder" onto the ramdisk. Then simply double-click the "jokes" program on the ramdisk to begin running the program. Initialize the ramdisk with 512K of memory (assuming a 1024k). This allocates enough memory for the ramdisk to hold the jokes, but also leaves enough ram for other purposes. $ WARRANTY - Hippopotamus Software, Inc. makes no warranties, either express or implied, regarding this computer software package, its merchantability or its fitness for any particular purpose. The exclusion of implied warranties is not permitted by some states. The above exclusion may not apply to you. This warranty provides you with specific legal rights. There may be other rights that you may have which vary from state to state. Copyright 1985 by: Hippopotamus Software, Inc. 985 University Ave. Suite #12 Los Gatos, CA 95030 USA Phone 408/395-3190 All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this program and its contents or portions thereof in any form. ( Original concept by Wendell Brown. Programmed by Clint Ballard. . ( -END  3N09 N^NuNV3  3 By 33N09 N^NuNV3  3 By 33N09 N^NuNV3  3 By 33N09 N^NuNV3  3 By 33N09 N^NuNV3  3 By 33N09 N^NuNV3  3  #03 By 33N# 0N^NuNV# ,#03 3 By333N!women embarrassed long hair?>wear long gloves cover !Dolly Parton eyes?>Jogging !ugly>look 'ugly' dictionary, picture !fat >watch each hand, each one's ɔdifferent zone !fat >grease sides ٔbathtub !fat >climb top , my ears pop !fat >lies ڔbeach, someone ends calling greenpeace !fat >sits around house, sits AROUND house !fat >wears bikini, harpoon marks show !fat >wears high heels, ends drilling oil !ugly>pigtails under arms !Was Queen Elizabeth brought believe sex wicked?>Yes, Princess Anne born, sure !"NFL Today" flash Bette Midler's cleavage ɨ?>They're both pigskin previews !JAP ڔwaterbed?>Lake Placid !happen Dolly Parton went topless movies?>They'd flop !讠fashion model prostitute?>Prostitutes drive Ferraris !members Go-Gos sex?>Their lips sealed !Madonna album Like Virgin?>inside joke !Dolly Parton small feet?>Nothing grows shade !Queen Elizabeth popular India?>Hindus worship cow @Definition ٔwife: "An attachment screw bed housework done." @Christina Onassis spending $6 million pregnant?>One hundred thousand dollars medical bills $5.9 million someone sleep @Ronald Reagan decided Dolly Parton solution starvation Africa?>He's sent over breast-feed Ethiopia @Vanessa Williams lost Miss America crown dirty linen aired public?>bed spread @Zsa Zsa's English isn't too ?>thinks past tense verb "marry" "divorce" @Does Warren Beatty cunt brain?>Well, once month gets nosebleed @Have heard there's line designer jeans Crisco?>fat @agile Mary Lou Retton?>pull own Tampax teeth @oven alike?>both hot stick meat @badly Bette Midler's tits sag?>felt lump breast discovered shoe @identify Dolly Parton's kids party?>They're ones stretch marks around mouths @macho ?>rolls own tampons @Ȕwearing pantyhose?>Her ankles swell farts @Ȕwearing pantyhose?>If ankles swell farts @come isn't any grass stadiums Iowa?>So cheerleaders graze during half- @Vanessa Williams lose Miss America crown?>It snatched away @lesbians kiss?>With lips @paper dolls?>Screw old bag @he's eaten pussy well?>wakes morning face looks ϔglazed doughnut @Linda Ronstadt's skin?>She's olive complexion-pits @I've joke funny it'll breasts fall off: Oh...see you've already heard @Is Mary Lou Retton still virgin?>Yes, coach working hard vault @Is Nancy Reagan frigid?>hard sure, ڔhot day cool Oval Office putting window letting breeze flow legs @Is unfair ߤPrincess Anne horse?>Well, gynecologist ˔vet @fat >sits my face, stereo @Bob Hope sing Dolly Parton guest starred show?>"Thanks mammaries." @Martina Navratilova gay tennis player?>Your face or mine? @young Warren Beatty sister suggested having sex?>"Shirley, jest." @Mondale-Ferraro campaign buttons read?>"Vote Wally Beaver." @Liz Taylor Taiwan telephone book ɨ?>both same number chins @Picasso Princess Anne ɨ?>Blue periods @butter Vanessa Williams ɨ?>both spread bread @space-shuttle astronauts play amusement?>Ride Sally Ride @women spaghetti ɨ?>both squirm eat @female clone?>clunt @lesbian opera singer?>muff diva @virgin ڔwaterbed?>cherry float @suck lemon garden hose?>Darling @uses too much contraceptive cream?>spermicidal maniac @tongue sticking ?>lesbian hard- @give eighty year old birthday?>Mikey...He'll eat anything @Joan Collins use chastity belt?>catcher's mask @fuzzy balls eats pussy?>Billy Jean King @˙virgin?>run faster brother @Eskimo girl's twat?>chatterbox @Bo John Derek's idea ٔmom pop business?>Her breasts @virgin monkey?>monkey won't let another monkey monkey around monkey @green yellow, cookie crumbs over , lies side road, stinks?>dead Girl Scout @讠Joan Collins Queen Mary?> It takes couple tugs Queen Mary slip @讠job wife?>After five years, job still sucks @讠wife Ronald Reagan?>After four years, Reagan still sucks @讠kneeling prayer kneeling bathtub?>kneeling prayer hope soul @讠sister Cadillac?>Most haven't been ɔCadillac @reason marry Jane Fonda?>knows secrets staying hard @perfect ?>deaf, dumb, blind nymphomaniac owns liquor store @white stuff find ɔwoman's panties?>Clitty litter @Liz Taylor go fat farm?> looked mirror see pubic hair @tennis players find Martina Navratilova dyke?>saw rolling own tampons @tennis players Martina Navratilova gay?>came locker room said she's lick everyone place @order Bloody Mary, how waitress mad ?>leaves string @Where Bette Midler honeymoon?>Bay Pigs @Lois Lane abortion?>fetus kept smashing doctor's instruments @Jane Fonda's mother commit suicide?>To save herself future embarrassment @Billy Jean King play Dutch Open?>finger stuck ɔdyke @Elvis ever screw Priscilla having period?>stand ragtime @everyone Daryl Hannah ɔmermaid very beginning Splash?>All women smell below waist @matter which vice-presidential nominee won last November?>Either way, there'd bush White House @female paratroopers wear jockstraps?>So whistle way @girls big noses lot dates?>Easy pickings @women legs?>So leave tracks snails @women holes close together?>So pass drunk, carry home ϔsix-pack @Bette Midler look twenty years old?>Her tits sag much wrinkles face @Miss Piggy douche vinegar sugar water?>Kermit likes sweet sour pork @Princess Anne carry American Express Card?>Her number tattooed inside lip @Billy Jean King dying meet Daryl Hannah?>loves seafood @Princess Anne's interest nature amazing?>Well, considering ̬.. @Suzanne Somers ϔtampon?>They're both stuck-cunts @won't Renee Richards let doctor blood samples?>want another prick #female bartender pissed ?>There's string hanging Bloody Mary #female peacock?>peacunt #Frank Sinatra's idea oral sex?>Yelling "fuck " #cunt talks back?>An answering cervix #讠wife, meat, eggs, head?>beat eggs, beat wife, beat meat, beats head #function ٔ?>Life-support system pussy #Where female copilots sit əaircraft?>In cuntpit #Who women legs?>So leave snail tracks linoleum floors #fellow trade wife outhouse?>hole smaller smell better #women holes close together?>In case miss #Billy Jean King cleanest cunt tennis?>colored maid come twice week gB/./<aPa8`0/.NXXJg/9/< NVdX.N"XN^NuNV/<NXXJg/</<`NBPa|Jf(B~a-@f/<`NB`/.a(XN^NuNV/ / *n(n `*HHo @gHH `RRJfB(_*_N^NuNVJpfBJpf:/<``&Jpf2/<a`Jpf*Jpf"/<a.NBXp`JpgJpgpN^NuNV/ //<NXX.a`2#!reporter walked Stevie Wonder asked how felt been born blind. Stevie replied, "It could've been worse. could been born !" !DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--Polack thought Poon Tang capital Vietnam? !Define psychopath.An millionaire ɔbordello !Reagan appointed աdiplomat?>He's ambassador Bermuda Triangle !ĕAfrican sex researcher?>Kunte Kinsey !ĕengineer invented car energy-efficient ̭need any gas ?>Ronzoni Downhill !ĕcleaned ears head caved ? !ĕasked Jehovah's Witness?>refused because ísee accident !ĕPole body odor side ?>where buy Left Guard !ĕPole heard radio 90 percent ٗaccidents happen within 10-mile radius home?>moved !ĕPole keeps store empty beer bottles handy...friends drink !ĕPole thought manual labor president Mexico? !ĕPole found dead jail cell twelve bumps head?>tried hang himself rubber band !ĕPole won gold medal Olympic Games?>bronzed !ĕPole whose dog pregnant?>upset married !ĕfamily won lottery?>moved ʔbasement Sutton Place !ĕgardener broke arm while raking leaves?>fell tree !ĕjazz musician?>̶money !ĕsurgeon made medical history?>performed appendix transplant !ĕterrorist tried blow bus?>burned lips exhaust pipe !ĕPuerto Rican locked himself car?>It took three hours family !ĕadvertisement army rifles?>"Never been shot dropped once." !ĕsaved years buy mother house?>finally house, police vice squad wouldn't let run !ĕՇtanks?>speed forward four reverse !ĕաFrench restaurant?>Chez ? !ĕfootball stadium Warsaw?>It torn , because everywhere sat, sat behind Pole !ĕtown New Jersey poor?>head Mafia Puerto Rican !ĕPolacks froze death drive-movie?>went see "Closed For Winter." !ĕPolacks went drive-movie?>picture, slashed seats !how hockey team drowned?>Spring training !NFL ˻use green footballs next year?>Ever ٔdropping watermelon? !Reagan administration created 500 jobs blacks?>expanded NBA 60 teams !dog?>tree pissed !Do how copper wire invented?>Two Jews found same penny !Do 𤔡person IQ 50?>Gifted !Do why blacks Chinese intermarry?>they're afraid kids chiggers !Do why such low suicide rate Puerto Rico?>kill yourself jumping ٔbasement window !Have heard parachute?>It opens impact !Have heard Mexican war movie?>Tacolips Now !Hear Pole went ޚbought four snow tires?>melted way home !噇kidney trouble?>He's rusty zipper yellow tennis shoes !come Poles Kool-Aid?>figure how quart water envelope !come Mexican Army used 600 soliders Alamo?>ܿcars !Gary Coleman's parents keep Ʒjumping bed?>put Velcro ceiling !hemophiliac die?>tried cure himself acupuncture !census Israel?>roll quarter street !we Freddie Prinze half Puerto Rican?>hit aiming !break Pole's finger?>Hit nose !forty Haitians ɔshoebox?>Tell 'em floats !twenty Cubans ɔpaper clip?>Tell floats !kill ?>Slam toilet seat head he's drink water !there's Irishman cockfight?>bets duck !sink navy?>Put water !count goats?>counts legs divides four !many Poles paint house?>Six thousand . One hold brush six thousand turn house !How's Richard Pryor these days?>Alive medium well !If Tarzan Jane , Cheetah ?>smartest three !Know how firing squad ˊ?>It stands ɔcircle !Or Pole lost $50 football game?>$25 game $25 instant replay !There's video game Black Man.>/It big lips chase watermelons around screen !four words Puerto Rican child learns?>"Give me wallet!" !three words Puerto Rican child learns?>"Attention K-Mart shoppers..." !three French words blacks ?>Coupe de ville !three words JAP heard?>Attention K-Mart shoppers !Mr. Mink give Mrs. Mink Christmas?>full-length Jew !Jewish daughter ran ƚsaid needed fifty dollars?>"Forty dollars? need third dollars ?" !Mexican ǵ50-cent piece?>Married !unmarried pregnant daughter?>Don't worry, maybe it's yours !goldfish Polack?>"We swim john, please pee our pool." !New York sneakers ڔboy?>Felony Footwear !numbers 1776 1492 ɨ?>They're adjoining rooms Warsaw Hilton !줔Army?>WAC./줔Army?>WACcoon !줙submarine captain?>Chicken Sea !old garbage trucks?>Sell Poles campers !50,000 blacks jumping ٔplane?>Night !Mexican Negro?>wetblack !Mexican baptism?>Bean dip !Pole ɔtree?>branch manager !Vietnamese family dog?>Vegetarians !Vietnamese family dogs?>Ranchers !Smurf?>Smigger !hitchhiker?>Stranded !mole ڙItalian's ass?>brain tumor !marries ?>social climber !IQ l80?> Sicily !abortion Czechoslovakia?>canceled czech !leader ٙAfrican nation?>Boy !three blacks sitting ɔgarden?>Fertilizer !motorcycle cops?>Chocolate CHIP's !find ɔMexican's nose?>Fingerprints !Jew Hari Krishna?>Someone sells insurance airport !Jew gypsy?>chain empty stores !Pole Chicano?>kid spray-paints name chain-fences !groundhog?>Six weeks basketball season !Aggie?>hit misses !blacks ɔshoebox?>pair ١loafers !Puerto Rican ɔthree-piece suit?>"Will defendant please rise?" !R.S.V.P. mean Russian?>"Remember, send vedding present." !Mexican front pants?>Spanish fly !Polack play Walkman?>"Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot . . .!" !happens ȔPole pay garbage bill?>stop delivery !happens Pole pay garbage bill?>deliver anymore !happens cleans ears?>His head caves !happens put Odor-Eater ɔman's shoes?>disappears !Puerto Ricans contributed air pollution problem?>About 90% !nationality Santa Claus?>North !arms legs floating water?>Buoy !Reagan's ٔcrying shame?>Nicaraguan bus over cliff four empty seats !X X?>cosigning Puerto Rican !JAP's dream house?>Fourteen rooms Scarsdale, kitchen, bedroom !JAP's favorite position?>Facing Bloomingdale's !JAP's favorite wine?>want go Miami !JAP's idea natural childbirth?>Absolutely makeup !bomb shelter?>septic tank !cocktail?>mushroom ɔglass beer !Puerto Rican American Express Card?>knife !shines dark?>Oakland !white goes rolling sidewalk?>pigeon fighting over chicken wing !white three eyes?>Sammy Davis Jr. ex-wife !white red over?>An interracial couple əautomobile accident !green flies over Poland?>Peter Panski !Puerto Rican national anthem?>"We'll Manhattan, Bronx, Staten Island too. . ." !"incredible?>"Mexican Chevy !讠JAP barracuda?>Nail polish !讠JAP canoe?>Canoes tip !讠monkey ?>An fleas !讠pothole ?>You'd swerve avoid pothole, wouldn't ?> !讠white owl owl?>At night, walk forest, white owl go "Who? Who?" /owl go, "Who dere? Who dere?" !讠Irish wedding Irish funeral?>One less drunk !讠elephant grandmother?>Twenty pounds dress !leading cause death Warsaw?>Sewercide !name famous Puerto Rican baby care expert?>Dr. Spick !video game Black-Man?>big lips chasing watermelons around screen !object ٔJewish football game?>To quarter back !smallest room world?>Hall Fame !Where hide money ɔhousehold?>Under soap !Where limbo invented?>In Greyhound bus terminal. Puerto Rican trying ʔpay toilet !Who four most dangerous world?>Jew money, Greek tennis shoes, Puerto Rican knife, Polack brains !Who really assassinated John F. Kennedy?>500 sharpshooters !jokes short?>So Italians understand !garbage cans painted international orange?>So Їchildren think they're eating Howard Johnson's !ice cubes Poland?>lost recipe !aren't any swimming pools Mexico?>Mexicans swim over here !Stevie Wonder read music?>he's !God invent golf?>So white could dress ϡ !God urine yellow come white?>So Polacks could whether coming or !Miss Puerto Rico win talent competition Miss America contest?>stripped Cadillac 2 minutes, 23 seconds !Mexicans fight hard capture Alamo?>So four clean walls write !Mexicans fight hard Alamo?>So could four clean walls write !Nazis place armed guards latrines invaded Poland?>wanted starve population !Pole go car wash second ?>liked special effects éunderstand ending !elevator operator lose job?>kept forgetting route !JAP want colostomy?>᩸shoes match bag !pope attend own investiture?>find clean bowling shirt !men mustaches?>So look mothers !Italians wear hats?>So which end wipe !Mexican cars such small steering wheels?>So 즞driven handcuffs !Mexican's drive low-riders?>So cruise pick lettuce same !Mexicans eat beans day?>So bubble bath night !Poles best astronauts?>space school !holes faces?>eat fork miss mouths !stadiums Astroturf?>To keep cheerleaders grazing !Puerto Ricans need such fat wallets?>To carry food stamps !Puerto Ricans throw away garbage clear plastic bags?>So Italians go window shopping !blacks sex minds?>pubic hair heads !blacks keep chickens backyards?>To teach kids how walk !blacks keep chickens yards?>To teach kids how strut !blacks wear high-heeled shoes?>So knuckles scrape ground !Georgia blacks California earthquakes?>California pick !Michael Jackson wear glove?>So won't bite fingers he's eating Tootsie Rolls !Stevie Wonder smile ?>ñhe's !Շnavy use glass-bottomed boats?>So steer clear old navy !Պnavy glass-bottomed boats?>So see old navy !Cubans baths?>They'd rather wash shore !Italian's freckles?>slide off !Italians freckles?>slide off !Italians zits?>slide off !Mexicans barbecue?>beans slip grill !Mexicans barbecues?>beans fall grill !Puerto Rican girls shave legs?>think textured stockings still style !blacks drive convertibles?>lips flap death !southerners ¡phones homes?>짤sisters !ice cubes Poland?>lost recipe !kill flies Puerto Rico?>they're national bird !let Poles swim ocean?>leave ring !haven't Russians caught U.S. genetics?>still haven't figured how cram test tube babies test tubes !NFL use green football next year?>ever ٔdropping watermelon?> !run over ڔbike?>It could bike @"Marry me," said Siwicki, "our wedding night you'll swear I've transplant mule!"/, next morning said, "right transplant. wonder animal's doing brain." @"joke?" asked foreman.>/"sure big laugh Jancywicz," replied Polack. "find pay my wife $5 kiss Ś̶!" @After big dinner, unmarried Italians dessert?>eat dates @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--Blind prostitute?/really hand @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--broad fond music ̶song? @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--believed long engagements?/pregnant six months married @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--swallowed pin child, feel prick until sixteen? @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--wanted gangster's moll finger ҽend? @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--ugly men wanted play dress poker ? @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--hooker ugly ended working ɔdoghouse? @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--stenographer fed typewriter birth control pills because kept skipping periods? @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--put ڔ-show?/came @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--Polack thought Peter Pan basin boys' room? @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--Polack wedding night sat edge bed waiting swelling go ? @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--Polack penis transplant?/It work . His hand rejected @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--Polack thought pole vault jockstrap lock ? @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--Polack invited cockfight?/stayed night greasing zipper @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--Polack won't love wife until gives Ɣdivorce?/found screwing around relative incest @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--chances pregnant?/blew both @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--prostitute leprosy?/Her business fell off @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--prostitute walked ʔvegetable market asked whore's radish? @DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE. . ./--Twelve Polacks rape German until yelled, "Nein! Nein!"?/Three left @Reagan created fifty thousand jobs blacks?>added ten thousand teams NBA @ĕpicked nose apart see made run? @ĕPolack found ÿsugar urine?>Every morning peed coffee @ĕPolack feeling low face slapped? @ĕPole registered draft board lumber yard? @ĕPole went ice fishing?>came home 200-pound chunk ice @ĕPole whose husband shooting craps?>how cook @ĕ芺thought period French Provincial? @ĕhooker herpes?>charged extra multiple organisms @ear naturalist thought spread eagle extinct bird?> @ĕgay bank robber?>tied safe blew tellers @ĕmovie Altered Suits?>story ٔJewish takes acid buys retail @ĕold told children wish buried sea?>His sons drowned digging grave @ĕvery wealthy hostess Park Avenue?/wears mink day fox night @ĕwar movie 藡cast?>"Pack Lips Now." @Reagan appointed ǵdiplomat?>He's ambassador Bermuda Triangle @Universal ˻𯙗-western?>Ride, Motherfucker, Ride @Spinks brothers signed star ɔwar movie?>, Pack Lips, Now @Do blacks really talk funny?>No. It miff @Do Miss Vecchio birth control pills?>feeds storks @Do Pole picked nose?>His brains caved @Do 줔riding palomino?>Leroy Rogers @Do why flies wings?>So beat blacks watermelon @Have heard 臺flunked driver's test?>car stalled, force habit jumped back seat @Hear lazy Pole?>married pregnant @abortion clinic?>There's year-long waiting list @芺wanted trade menstrual cycle Honda? @flamingos Florida pink cement Italians lawns? @women embarrassed long hair?>wear long gloves cover @how many Vietnamese live əapartment house?>Count windows multiply 40 @Ȕhaving period?>She's wearing sock @Ȕhalf-Irish half-?>mashes potatoes feet @Jewish orgasm?>drops nail file @Germans conquer Poland?>marched backwards said leaving @Poles hurt raking leaves?>fell tree @fit twenty-five Jews ɔVolkswagen?>threw ɔquarter @Polacks reproduce?>exchange underwear @girls protect themselves Peeping Toms?>keep shades @mothers teach children put underwear?>Brown back, yellow front @Italians across ocean America?>One swam across, rest walked across scum @we Adam wasn't ?>ever try rib dude @we Batman's ?>Who else wear jockey shorts over leotard? @confuse Pole?>Put ɔround room piss corner @three Poles off couch?>Jerk off come @Mexicans off roof?>Jerk off other'll come too @keep Italians front yard?>Keep garbage cans back @there's cockfight?>duck wins @stop five blacks raping white ?>Throw 'em basketball @there's Polack cockfight?>enters duck @Clint Eastwood grease car?>runs over Mexicans @Clint Eastwood repave driveway?>handcuffs couple ١punks garage door, then backs steamroller @Polack stains off undies?>Pulls over head hosts @many mechanics give car lube job?>Only hit right @thin Shelley Duvall?>swallowed olive boyfriend fainted @ITALIAN DIAPHRAGM/Wop stopper @If Jesus , ǵmiracle?>He'd єblind deaf @If Tarzan Jane Jewish, Cheetah ?>fur coat @If Hispanics "Spics", Herve Villechaize?>"speck." @Is better born or gay?>Black, because parents @mathematicians claim Sophia Loren four feet, six inches tall--lying flat back @officials thinking having airline linking Geneva Milan, Rome, Naples./They're Genitalia @Lucarelli Bonnacatti watching solidly built waddling Mulberry Street New York's Little Italy./"Hey," said Lucarelli, "that's nice pizza ass." @Miss Szymki taking state board examination become nurse.>/doctor asked , "wash genitals?"/"same way wash Jews!" replied innocently @Mrs. Poreba shopping pair pants boy./"Do want pants zipper?" asked clerk./"No," said ./"Piotr sweater zipper he's tie caught ." @Rastus told Liza day, said, "Liza, I'm blacktop , I'm I'm gonnaturn over I'm gonna asphalt ya." @john finished Rosalie, paying said, "ever been picked fuzz?"/"Sure ," said hooker, "hurts hell!" @Then Pole asshole transplant.>/asshole rejected @Twelve Poles rape German , screamed, "Nein, Nein!"/So three left @Two secretaries lunch:/Gloria: raped last night Polack./Helen: ?/Gloria: help @three things give ?>eye, fat lip, job @bites swallow?>Jewish @Ronald Reagan think heard forty-four kids missing Atlanta?>thought start @Greek sitting bar?>"Hey, Dimitri. still using greasy kid?>" @臺being raped ɔrented car?>"hurts!" @sister baby?>"I'll monkey's uncle!" @Polack girlfriend asked something kinky?>Shit purse @Polack himself looked Tomb Of Unknown Soldier?>"Gee, family must proud!" @Polack doctor told wife given birth beautiful baby boy?>"Ηalong !" @Polack urologist asked pecker burned intercourse?>", Doc, I've tried light !" @Pole doctor found sugar urine?>pissed corn flakes @Сkid walked past zebra?>"Now see me, now , now see me . . ." @Irish gay bar?>Sodom Begorra @芺think gave head?>᩸lips way over boyfriend's ears @WASPs instead making love?>Rule country @heads lettuce noses ɨ?>Mexicans pick both @줔pig ɔblanket?>prostitute @줔swimming pool full يgirls?>Bay Pigs @줙Oriental faggot?>Japansie @serve leper colony?>Elbow macaroni @O. J. Simpson's jock?>An All-American ball carrier @JAP ڔwaterbed?>Lake Placid @Jewish basement?>wine cellar @Mexican homosexual?>senor-eater @Mexican vasectomy?>dry Martinez @Mexican any arms or legs?>Trustworthy @Pole 1500 friends?>shepherd @fag ɔwheelchair?>Cool AIDS @braces teeth?>Black Decker pecker wrecker @who's half Indian half Chinese?>Uglee @speech Muhammad Ali?>Racial slurs @holding orgy NAACP meeting?>Getting blackballed @six dudes ɔCaddy?>blood vessel @zipper ڔgay Italian's pants?>Mediterranean fruit fly @Billy Jean King Bo Derek?>DC-10 @Evel Knievel Puerto Rican?>drives Snake River Canyon ɔChevy @Chinaman hooker?>Someone who'll suck laundry @JAP Apple?>computer goes @Jew gypsy?>chain empty stores @hooker Chinaman?>suck shirts @Bo Derek?>"Ten Spades." @Bo Derek?>ten spades @pole monkey?>Nothing. monkey's too smart fuck Pole @JAP asshole morning?>Sends work @businessman carry briefcase?>Briefs @eating pussy being member Mafia ɨ?>One slip tongue deep shit @page ٔsex manual?>"cunt front!" @happens Jewish erection walks ʔwall?>smashes nose @happens drink too many Black Russians?>hammer--sickle cell anemia @Polacks decided population explosion?>Sterilize storks @˔JAP breakfast?>Tab jelly roll @kind candy send virgin Valentine's Day?>Chocolate covered cherries @Pope's fourth miracle?>heeled dog @movie whose father sexually attracted 衾brought home meet family?>Goose Who's Coming To Dinner @results Polack tried some underarm hair transplanted bald head?>It pits @vasectomy?>postop Wop @ice?>Lemon sherbet Сhairs over @shishkebab?>flaming arrow garbage @JAP's idea ٔperfect house?>Thirteen rooms; kitchen bedroom @Polack's favorite sex aid?>Pepto Bismol @cocktail?>glass water booger @stud's opening line?>"smell want alone!" @Puerto Rican day country?>Chasing cockroaches ɔvacant lot @queer Arab?>One speaks tongue sheik @set matched luggage?>Two shopping bags same store @ski jump?>whore @10?>No moustache @big white lives bottom ocean?>Ku Klux Clam @red trouble revolving door?>spear back @sleeps Dale Evans?>LeRoy Rogers @white hairy?>Sister Mary Cunt @white red doorway?>Mother Teresa spear head @gross ignorance?>One hundred forty-five Irishmen @long, white, useless ڔ?>An Irishman @red, green, blue, yellow, purple, orange?>An dressed @cheapest way grease car?>Run over Mexican @ٔfamily?>group keys same abandoned building @ٔcad?>An wife he's sterile until she's pregnant @gibberish?>conversation James Brady Muhammad Ali @gross ignorance?>144 Polacks @讠JAP toilet?>toilet follow around months use @讠Jewish mother vulture?>vulture waits till dead eat heart @讠Pole ?>takes dishes sink pisses @讠bowling ball?>fit three fingers ɔbowling ball @transparent lies gutter?>Pakistani shit kicked @worse six-foot Negro switchblade?>queer chipped tooth @yellow outside, inside, goes screaming over cliff?>school bus full ١kids @Jesse Jackson talks family, mean?>group keys same abandoned building @Who Groucho's fat sister?>Stretch Marx @Who wears dirty white robe rides pig?>Lawrence Poland @֊ballerinas?>splits, stick floor @few blacks among Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders?>splits astroturf stick @aren't any cheerleaders?>쯔split, either grass dies or floor buckles @aren't any cheerleaders?>stick floor splits @Richard Pryor Eddie Murphy Friar's Club?>They're -balled @Europeans bring wheel barrow Africa?>To teach natives walk hind legs @God create orgasms?>So Polacks quit fucking @God given Italians arms?>So fingers wouldn't smell armpits @Jesse Jackson promise buy family wheelbarrow?>So parents could teach kids walk hind legs @Liz Taylor break off Mexican Millionaire Victor Luna?>riding Chevys @President Reagan approve $l0 million grant study Emmanuel Lewis?>wants find way keep nigger kids size @staple nuts together?>Since élick 'em, felt join 'em @trade wife garbage ?>̿smaller hole smelled better @Polack spray dick Right Guard?>ڔdate wanted 8-hour protection @Pole flash Venus de Milo?>wanted expose himself art @farmer give hot water hens?>wanted lay hard boiled eggs @芺wring nightgown counter sperm bank?>It deposit slip @Pope hesitate accepting position?>want move ʙneighborhood @衾push girlfriend away said wanted give Ɣblow job?> afraid mess unemployment benefits @midget save filters cigarettes?>His fiancee used tampons @pregnant lady hire private detective?>To find baby really hers @put television sets ballpark?>So fans could see happening local bar @Jesse Jackson Catholic vote?>himself "Superior" "Mother." @wear tight jeans trip Australia?>afraid causing bushfire @Italians bury dead asses sticking ground?>So they'll somewhere park bicycles @Italians screw angle?>they're wopsided @Italians talk hands?>breath could curl pubic hair @JAPs use tampons instead sanitary napkins?>goes string attached @JAPs wear -piece bathing suits?>To separate milk fish @Mafia hit men indulge sexual foreplay?>They're afraid injuring trigger fingers @Mexicans eat refried beans?>Ever seen Mexican fuck things around? @Polacks wear hats?>So which end wipe @Poles smear shit walls weddings?>To keep flies off bride @men such lousy lovers?>wait swelling go @kids bigger dicks white kids?>white kids toys @blacks love baseball?>shake stick Whitey away @blacks order finger bowls restaurants?>So wash silverware ste`B?< NA# By yN0<>2JAg I30QJyf/9?< NA*O/<?< NA?<Hy?<=NA*/<@/<??<?NA??<>NA.M #N@jokes.dat Loading Hippo Jokes! Cracked 1986 by Was (Not Was).  ߂ "ߺr"JtlBd2 jd:8,TF. Lr ^JddFZh xL:DLBr8"&\P2z4(n^NV3n0.|Hм-@=|` nH2nn2RRn nm.NvB@09N^NuNV#n8#P<#v@#D#H#L#8> aF3pN^NuNV>a*pN^NuNV3v.  t+..  tCHECKERSPAS t ,CHECKERSPRG t program checkers; label 50; const {$I GEMCONST.PAS} MAX != 20; MAX360 = 7200; MAX12P12 = 252; MAXP1 = 21; type {$I GEMTYPE.PAS} var mvlst : array[0..MAX360] of integer; vixbrd,brd,tkn,sw1,sw2,se1,se2 : array[0..32] of integer; nw1,nw2,ne1,ne2,oldbrd,clrbrd,kval : array[0..32] of integer; nx,s,e,wx : array[0..32] of integer; princ : array[12..MAX12P12,1..MAX] of integer; oldprinc : array[12..MAX12P12] of integer; tmv !: array[0..12] of integer; lm ": array[1..12] of integer; ii,jj,olc : array[12..23] of integer; dmax,tpc,plyr,nextm,tmvp,code : integer; top,bug,dv,over,alok,near,jedit,jinit : boolean; lij,kk,t,big_window,xmax,ymax,wmax,hmax,mul:integer; can_mov,clr_brd,title1,title2,edit_brd,init_brd,strt_gme,quit_edi:integer; red_top,red_bot,t_black,t_white,comp_p,quit:integer; level:array [0..10] of integer; dline:array [1..6] of integer; sq,c,m_state,dummy,which,mx,my,bs,ws,bp,wp,i,j,n:integer; msg:message_buffer; a_menu:menu_ptr; a,sonia:string; ok,full,mono:boolean; timelim : long_integer; d_color:array[0..3] of integer; {$I GEMSUBS.PAS} function s_color(a,b:integer):integer; XBIOS(7); procedure pnt_color(colr:integer); begin if mono then begin if colr=1 then paint_color(0) else paint_color(1); if (colr=0) then paint_style(5) else paint_style(1); if (colr=3) then paint_style(6); end else paint_color(colr); end; function gia_read(dum:integer):integer; xbios(37); procedure rectangle; begin hide_mouse; frame_rect(50*i+150,(20*j-6)*mul,50,20*mul); frame_rect(50*i+151,(20*j-6)*mul,48,20*mul); frame_rect(50*i+152,(20*j-6)*mul,46,20*mul); show_mouse; end; procedure convert_g(n:integer; var i,j:integer); begin if not top then n:=33-n; j:=(n-1) div 4+1; i:=((n-1) mod 4)*2+1; if j mod 2=1 then i:=i+1; end; procedure show_move(b:integer); var c:integer; begin for c:=b+1 to b+mvlst[b] do if mvlst[c]<>99 then begin convert_g(abs(mvlst[c]),i,j); line_color(0); if mono then line_color(1); rectangle; end; repeat which:=get_event( E_Button, 1, 1, 1, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, msg, dummy, dummy, dummy, mx, my, dummy ); until which=E_Button; my:=trunc(my/mul); for c:=b+1 to b+mvlst[b] do if mvlst[c]<>99 then begin convert_g(abs(mvlst[c]),i,j); line_color(3); if mono then begin hide_mouse; 8 paint_color(1); paint_style(6); paint_rect(50*i+150,(20*j-6)*mul,50,20*mul); show_mouse; end else rectangle; end; which:=get_event( E_Button, 1, 0, 1, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, msg, dummy, dummy, dummy, mx, my, dummy ); end; procedure disp_move; var c:integer; same:boolean; begin same:=true; for c:=13 to lij do if olc[c]<>abs(princ[c,1]) then same:=false; if not same then begin hide_mouse; pnt_color(3); for c:=13 to lij do if (ii[c]<>0) and (jj[c]<>0) then begin i:=ii[c]; j:=jj[c]; paint_rect(50*i+150,(20*j-6)*mul,10,4*mul) end; pnt_color(0); for c:=13 to 12+princ[12,1] do if princ[c,1]<>99 then begin convert_g(abs(princ[c,1]),i,j); olc[c]:=abs(princ[c,1]); ii[c]:=i; jj[c]:=j; pnt_color(0); paint_rect(50*i+150,(20*j-6)*mul,10,4*mul); lij:=c; end; show_mouse; end; end; procedure init_screen; var c,c1,x,y,wm,hm,d:integer; title:window_title; begin if ok then init_mouse; hide_mouse; if ok then begin big_window:=new_window(0,title,0,0,0,0); open_window(big_window,0,0,0,0); set_window(big_window); work_rect(0,d,d,wm,hm); paint_outline(false); for c:=0 to 3 do d_color[c]:=s_color(c,-1); if hm>210 then begin mono:=true; mul:=2; end; if (wm<600) then begin d:=do_alert('[1][ | | Use medium or high res ][ OK ]',1); goto 50; end; end; if not mono then begin set_color(1,1000,1000,1000); set_color(0,0,0,600); {blue} set_color(3,0,600,0); {green} set_color(2,750,0,0); {red} end; pnt_color(0); paint_rect(0,0,640,200*mul); line_color(1); if not mono then begin frame_rect(-1,-1,640,188*mul); frame_rect(0,-1,638,188*mul); end; pnt_color(2); paint_rect(192,10*mul,416,168*mul); c1:=0; y:=14; while (y<174) do begin if (c1 mod 2=0) then c:=0 else c:=1; x:=200; while (x<570) do begin if (c mod 2=0) then pnt_color(1) else pnt_color(3); paint_rect(x,y*mul,50,20*mul); x:=x+50; c:=c+1 end; y:=y+20; c1:=c1+1; end; show_mouse; end; procedure set_menu; var c:integer; begin a_menu:=new_menu(30,' About checkers... '); title1:=add_mtitle(a_menu,' Game '); title2:=add_mtitle(a_menu,' Options '); init_brd:=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,' Initialize board '); strt_gme:=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,' Start game '); edit_brd:=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,' Edit board '); quit_edi:=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,' Quit edit '); clr_brd :=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,' Clear board '); can_mov :=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,' Cancel move '); dline[1]:=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,'-'); t_black :=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,' Computer is red '); t_white :=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,' Computer is white '); dline[2]:=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,'-'); red_top :=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,' Red plays top '); red_bot :=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,' Red plays bottom '); dline[3]:=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,'-'); quit :=add_mitem(a_menu,title1,' Quit '); level[0]:=add_mitem(a_menu,title2,' Level 0 (5 secs) '); level[1]:=add_mitem(a_menu,title2,' Level 1 (30 secs) '); level[2]:=add_mitem(a_menu,title2,' Level 2 (2 mins) '); level[3]:=add_mitem(a_menu,title2,' Level 3 (5 mins) '); level[4]:=add_mitem(a_menu,title2,' Level 4 (20 mins) '); level[5]:=add_mitem(a_menu,title2,' Level 5 (2 hrs ) '); level[6]:=add_mitem(a_menu,title2,' Level 6 (8 hrs ) '); for c:=1 to 3 do menu_disable(a_menu,dline[c]); draw_menu(a_menu); end; procedure convert_s(i,j:integer; var n:integer); begin n:=(i-1) div 2+(j-1)*4+1; if not top then n:=33-n; end; procedure print_board; var i,j,n:integer; begin hide_mouse; for n:=32 downtoQ 1 do if (brd[n]<>vixbrd[n]) or full then begin case brd[n] of -2:pnt_color(2); -1:pnt_color(2); 0:pnt_color(3); 1:pnt_color(1); 2:pnt_color(1); end; convert_g(n,i,j); if (brd[n]=0) then paint_rect(50*i+150,(20*j-6)*mul,50,20*mul) else begin paint_oval(50*i+175,(20*j+3)*mul,18,-4); paint_oval(50*i+175,(20*j+4)*mul,18,-4); end; pnt_color(0); if abs(brd[n])=2 then begin if mono then paint_style(5); paint_rect(50*i+171,(20*j-2)*mul,9,12*mul); paint_rect(50*i+163,(20*j+2)*mul,25,4*mul); end; end; show_mouse; end; procedure info; var dialog : Dialog_Ptr ; button, ok_btn, prompt_item:integer; begin dialog := New_Dialog( 20, 0, 0, 40, 18 ) ; prompt_item := Add_DItem( dialog, G_String, None, 12, 2, 0, 0, 0, 0 ) ; Set_DText( dialog, prompt_item, 'ST CHECKERS 1.0', System_Font, TE_Center ) ; prompt_item := Add_DItem( dialog, G_String, None, 12, 3, 0, 0, 0, 0 ) ; Set_DText( dialog, prompt_item, '-', System_Font, TE_Center ) ; prompt_item := Add_DItem( dialog, G_String, None, 11, 5, 0, 0, 0, 0 ) ; Set_DText( dialog, prompt_item, 'by Pascal Parent', System_Font, TE_Center ) ; prompt_item := Add_DItem( dialog, G_String, None, 11, 7, 0, 0, 0, 0 ) ; Set_DText( dialog, prompt_item, 'ST adaptation by', System_Font, TE_Center ) ; prompt_item := Add_DItem( dialog, G_String, None, 10, 9, 0, 0, 0, 0 ) ; Set_DText( dialog, prompt_item, 'Francois Villeneuve', System_Font, TE_Center ) ; prompt_item := Add_DItem( dialog, G_String, None, 8, 12, 0, 0, 0, 0 ) ; Set_DText( dialog, prompt_item, 'Montreal, December 1986', System_Font, TE_Center ) ; ok_btn := Add_DItem( dialog, G_Button, Selectable|Exit_Btn|Default, 16, 14, 8, 2, 2, $1180 ) ; Set_DText( dialog, ok_btn, 'OK', System_Font, TE_Center ) ; Center_Dialog( dialog ) ; button := Do_Dialog( dialog, 0 ) ; end_dialog(dialog); delete_dialog(dialog); end; procedure redraw; begin if (which=E_Message) and (msg[3]=3) then begin info; menu_normal(a_menu,msg[3]); which:=get_event( E_Message, 1, 1, 1, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, msg, dummy, dummy, dummy, mx, my, dummy ); end; if (which=E_Message) and (msg[0]=WM_Redraw) then begin init_screen; vixbrd:=clrbrd; print_board; end; end; procedure setup; label 30; var i,j,coul:integer; begin jedit:=true; menu_enable(a_menu,quit_edi); menu_enable(a_menu,clr_brd); menu_disable(a_menu,edit_brd); menu_disable(a_menu,strt_gme); menu_disable(a_menu,init_brd); menu_disable(a_menu,t_black); menu_disable(a_menu,t_white); menu_disable(a_menu,red_top); menu_disable(a_menu,red_bot); for i:=0 to 6 do menu_disable(a_menu,level[i]); repeat which:=get_event( E_Message | E_Button, 1, 1, 1, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, msg, dummy, dummy, dummy, mx, my, dummy ); menu_normal(a_menu,title1); menu_normal(a_menu,title2); my:=trunc(my/mul); if (which=E_Message) and (msg[4]=clr_brd) then begin vixbrd:=brd; brd:=clrbrd; print_board; end; if (which=E_Message) and ((msg[0]=WM_Redraw) or (msg[3]=3)) then redraw; if which=E_Message then goto 30; if (which=e_button) and (mx>199) and (mx<601) and (my>13) and (my<185) then begin my:=my-12; i:=((mx-200) div 50)+1; j:=((my-14) div 20)+1; if ((i mod 2=1) and (j mod 2=0)) or ((i mod 2=0) and (j mod 2=1)) then begin convert_s(i,j,n); case (brd[n]) of 0:brd[n]:=-1; -1:brd[n]:= 1; 1:brd[n]:= 2; 2:brd[n]:=-2; -2:brd[n]:= 0; end; case (brd[n]) of 0:coul:=3; O -1:coul:=2; 1:coul:=1; -2:coul:=2; 2:coul:=1; end; hide_mouse; pnt_color(coul); paint_oval((50*i+175),(20*j+3)*mul,18,-4); paint_oval((50*i+175),(20*j+4)*mul,18,-4); pnt_color(0); if abs(brd[n])=2 then begin if mono then paint_style(5); paint_rect(50*i+171,(20*j-2)*mul,9,12*mul); paint_rect(50*i+163,(20*j+2)*mul,25,4*mul); end; show_mouse; end; which:=get_event( E_Button, 1, 0, 1, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, msg, dummy, dummy, dummy, mx, my, dummy ); 30: end; until (which=E_Message) and ((msg[4]=quit_edi) or (msg[4]=quit)); menu_disable(a_menu,clr_brd); menu_enable(a_menu,edit_brd); menu_enable(a_menu,strt_gme); menu_enable(a_menu,init_brd); menu_enable(a_menu,t_black); menu_disable(a_menu,quit_edi); menu_enable(a_menu,t_white); menu_enable(a_menu,red_top); menu_enable(a_menu,red_bot); for i:=0 to 6 do menu_enable(a_menu,level[i]); end; procedure quit_prg; var c:integer; begin close_window(big_window); for c:=0 to 3 do dummy:=s_color(c,d_color[c]); end; procedure print_message(b:string;wait:boolean); begin hide_mouse; pnt_color(0); paint_rect(10,17*mul,150,10*mul); draw_mode(2); if mono then text_color(0) else text_color(1); draw_string(10,24*mul,b); draw_mode(1); show_mouse; end; procedure skip(ss,pc:integer); var jfound,k,tmp,s1,s2: integer; begin tmv[tmvp]:=ss; tmp:=tmvp; tmvp:=tmvp+1; jfound:=0; if (sw2[ss]<>0) and (pc<>1) then if (tkn[sw1[ss]]<1) and (brd[sw2[ss]]=0) then begin if abs(brd[sw1[ss]])=2 then tmv[tmp]:=-ss else tmv[tmp]:=ss; tkn[sw1[ss]]:=2; jfound:=1; skip(sw2[ss],pc) end; if (se2[ss]<>0) and (pc<>1) then if (tkn[se1[ss]]<1) and (brd[se2[ss]]=0) then begin if abs(brd[se1[ss]])=2 then tmv[tmp]:=-ss else tmv[tmp]:=ss; tkn[se1[ss]]:=2; jfound:=1; skip(se2[ss],pc) end; if (nw2[ss]<>0) and (pc<>-1) then if (tkn[nw1[ss]]<1) and (brd[nw2[ss]]=0) then begin if abs(brd[nw1[ss]])=2 then tmv[tmp]:=-ss else tmv[tmp]:=ss; tkn[nw1[ss]]:=2; jfound:=1; skip(nw2[ss],pc) end; if (ne2[ss]<>0) and (pc<>-1) then if (tkn[ne1[ss]]<1) and (brd[ne2[ss]]=0) then begin if abs(brd[ne1[ss]])=2 then tmv[tmp]:=-ss else tmv[tmp]:=ss; tkn[ne1[ss]]:=2; jfound:=1; skip(ne2[ss],pc) end; if (tmvp>1) and (jfound=0) then begin if ((ss>28) and (pc=-1)) or ((ss<5) and (pc=1)) then begin tmv[tmvp]:=99; tmvp:=tmvp+1 end; mvlst[nextm]:=t#a0 #b0 #c7770007000600070055200505552220770557075055507703111103 #d - #E 9B 02 #W 00 00 14 02 1F 10 08 A:\*.*@ #W 00 00 0D 08 2A 0B 00 @ #W 00 00 0E 09 2A 0B 00 @ #W 00 00 0F 0A 2A 0B 00 @ #M 00 00 00 FF A FLOPPY DISK@ @ #M 00 01 00 FF B FLOPPY DISK@ @ #T 00 03 02 FF TRASH@ @ #F FF 04 @ *.*@ #D FF 01 @ *.*@ #G 03 FF *.APP@ @ #G 03 FF *.PRG@ @ #F 03 04 *.TOS@ @ #P 03 04 *.TTP@ @  9:йF#j 96йp&#n 92йB#r 9.й>#vBV#VR#RN#NJBf#fb#b^#^ZN^NuNV .f #J`V .*f #N`> .pf #R`& .pf #V`/<bNBXN^NuNVH.9:޹F,96ܹp&*92ڹB(9.ع>JJgjm #ZJNgnm #^JRgrm #bJVgvm #fLN^NuNVN3HJg/</<N]ZPJpgJJgJZf.  . t<..  . tFUNCS  /t =CHS  Dt nUSEINF  Ft ALMANAC MEN It LISTCHAR Lt `x!8N#../<\N6XJfN`/9Nu o HpNu o /fpL.NuNVR( 9 @-P/. n PNXpN^Nu*What would your mother say to that? 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That night reported back precinct house./"Well," asked captain, "how's ̻?"/"Oh fine, sir," said Polack. "Except this badge killing me." #greets fellow street: "Hey, mothafuckah!"/"Good Morning, Reverend." #mother react news daughter born moustache?>tickled #Poles engage oral sex?>stand opposite ends room yell, "Fuck !" #circumcise ?>With jig-saw #circumcise ?>Wop #"fuck " Yiddish?>Trust me #Know "fuckoff" ?>tie breaker beauty contest #Polack told Ῑitchy pussy?>"anything those Japanese cars!" #Mexican legs?>Cuntsuelo #sucking off ?>blood transfusion #impotent Black ?>limp pimp #Polack put mirror over bed?>any better women, cured coke habit #˔bathroom menace?>Jewish circumcised -eyed rabbi #ˡforeplay?>"Scream I'll kill !" #chain يconvenience stores?>"Pick Eat It!" #ٔmaniac?>An ɔwhorehouse credit card #讠JAP Jello-O?>Jell-O wiggles eat #讠JAP Bermuda Triangle?>Bermuda Triangle swallows semen #Who won race tunnel--or Pole?>Pole, because 衿stop write "motherfucker" wall #hockey goaltenders girls alike?>both change pads three periods #circumcise Iranian?>there's end those pricks #芺tattoo zip code thighs?>So could male box #streetwalkers end wealthy?>let Dago fuck #JAPs crow's-feet?>From squinting saying, "Suck ?" #JAPs sleep circumcised men?>want 20% off everything #Mexican women wear long skirts?>To hide -pest strips #few Mexicans Olympics?>burro-fucking competition NEw 2+K@({5j'C 1YIYI@N=۴4TԜ}-|c`}`}3WWcU7 C#o}v>Soh@&zy`PLO)~u|ltJ^sJ,5B5z(W,JW֫>-<.5ӕ*38!38Z(SXr[8S\ M-D<--<3-qZO!WDĪ%z\ˌh0_hİPP䰵,'N)%]%܋r؃ݳ^9#-I&I'0.8P;#*=O*!T_.d|ITXВp=ВGn߇:צ7_T_dII5TȊ>j> ч~>%tZIQij]CȃHCx;Q|ȃH;<<Ĩ9~7#9~5lE(_xUUUXQ5}ؚX&!>3'9>q )>P;C]P;Cc\P;CA*rA>A,B3VJIv7 WOHni#n?m)n4=h((AC@m)b Vm" Vm"HÛs)~sqzuN_TȫoN+oNaId(˙ *zd.}gE.}vgEFF%dooxR'OD_G|*  "J*ȋ>ܚtJ66'R666'R6ӪӬӪӪӢԸY㈗)auHs$sr(J(.^wvےO^w'Shut up', explained Ring Lardner 'Tis education forms mind:/Just twig bent, tree's inclined 'Tis pleasant, sure, see one's name print;/ book's book, though there's in't Canadian somebody knows how love ɔcanoe Christian ˔feels repentance Sunday ìSaturday night ˻Monday Don Quixote Quote: Beware, gentle knight-greatest monster reason Future: If it's ɔcomputer, ̱exist bad book ˜much labor write , comes sincerely author's soul banker ˔person willing єloan present sufficient evidence show need best seller gilded tomb ٔmediocre talent billion here, billion --pretty soon talking real money Senator Everett Dirksen, U.S. defense budget biographer ˙artist upon oath bore ˔, ask how , tells bore: someone lights room simply leaving bureaucrat ˔Democrat holds some office Republican wants camel looks ϔhorse planned committee cardinal rule politics--Ըcaught bed live or dead J.R. Ewing, "Dallas" conservative ˔too cowardly fight too fat run conservative ˔sits thinks, mostly sits conservative realist, taking over side ٗreal, abiding, basic, fundamental coward ˔hero wife, kids mortgage critic ˔legless teaches running critic ˔created praise greater men himself, able find critic ˔knows way drive car cynic ˔knows price everything value cynic ˔, smells flowers, looks around coffin cynic ˔person searching honest , stolen lantern democracy ˔government hands men low birth, property, unskilled labor democracy predicated idea ordinary men women capable governing themselves dictatorship ˔country where taken politics politics doctor bury mistakes architects advise clients plant vines foolish consistency hobgoblin minds conversationalist remembers said, says someone wants remember housekeeper whore heart Butch Cassidy, Etta Place great artist ˘or behind great society ˔society which men business think greatly functions great writer creates world own readers proud live . lesser writer may entice ɶmoment, soon watch filing Cyril Connolly kleptomaniac help helping himself lawyer briefcase steal hundred men guns Mario Puzo lecture ˙occasion numb end benefit liberal Southener someone wouldn't mind see Green Pastures provided ̿-white cast liberal education....frees ҷprison-house class, race, , place, background, family, ever nation long neck ˼ܶhanging Tsar Peter II lives believing something, מdebating arguing many things may well expect grow stronger eating wiser reading must now swallow beliefs ædigest discloses own character clearly describes another's paints brains hands million dollars ˜well off rich John Jacob Astor man's dying survivors' affair own nation ˔society united delusion its ancestry hatred its neighbors painter feel breasts buttocks saved painting ɔmuseum hears ridiculous opinions anything else world proletarian dictatorship proletarian religion afford degrade its Devil degrade its God self-made ? Yes--worships creator single death ˔tragedy, million deaths ˔statistic Joseph Stalin society sheep must beget government wolves society which practices death control must same practice birth control sodomite very excited looking zoology test. Does this pornography? subject great poet God's boredom seventh day Creation subject beautiful itself gives suggestion artist. It lacks imperfection thorough knowledge Bible worth college education timid person frightened danger, coward during , courageous person afterwards tree's tree. many ӯneed look ? Ronald Reagan university great things, ˰ׯ; ̰intellectualize its neighborhood university college becomes faculty loses interest students verbal contract isn't worth paper it's written Samuel Goldwyn visitor Mars could easily pick civilized nations. best implements war well-written life almost rare well-spent unfaithful deserves shot Pancho Villa work aspires, however humbly, condition art carry its justification ɴline Joseph Conrad Abraham Lincoln's Rumination: Tell truth won't much remember Academic freedom killed Spiro T. Agnew According me best recollection remember Vincent "Jimmy Blue Eyes" Alo Adam's Admonition: Those sausage or political policy watch being made Adolf Hitler pop star. It certainly wasn't politics David Bowie Advertisements contain truths relied ɔnewspaper Advertising done cause social unrest twentieth century any single factor Advertising art making whole lies half truths Ah, gentlemen, ȅbeen able read write could exterminated human race Michele Caruso, Sicilian bandit, died 1863 Alfred E. Smith's Rule: No matter how thin slice , it's still baloney All animals equal, some animals equal others All animals except ultimate life enjoy All children essentially criminal All cities mad, madness gallant. All cities beautiful, beauty grim All diseases Christianity ascribed demons All writing swimming under water holding breath F. Scott Fitzgerald All journalists spies. . been President Mobutu Sese Seku, Zaire All mouthpieces thieves Jimmy "Weasel" Fratianno All ٔsudden these conservationists coming woodwork us how save Alaska All our knowledge its origins our perceptions All profoundly original art looks ugly All ills democracy cured democracy All yachts could build Canadian royalties could sail bathtub Allen's : There's such 휔"simple job around house." Allison's Precept: best simple-minded test expertise ɔparticular area ability win money ɔseries bets future occurrences area Always overpay income taxes. That way, you'll refund Meyer Lansky Always run knife rush gun Jimmy Hoffa America ˔country where ˻determined set speed record America ˔mistake, giant mistake America country where buy lifetime supply aspirin dollar, use weeks American business needs lifting purpose greater struggle materialism Americans ϔrich father wishes knew how give sons hardships made rich An act legislature, repugnant constitution, void An artist may visit museum ܔpedant live An artist finishes work; merely abandons An atheist ˔believes himself accident An atheist ˔visible means support An atheist ˔watches NotreDame-SMU football game care wins An autobiography usually reveals bad its writer except memory An honest politician bought stay bought Simon Camerson, British political commentator An idea ˔feat association Anatomy destiny And obituaries last writes And our hearts....muffled drums, beating funeral marches grave And throughout war we lost battle General William Andrew's Truism: Honesty almost best policy Another One Murphy's Laws: If mathematically end incorrect answer, try multiplying page number Another improvement.....we built our gas chambers accommodate thousand ߝ Rudolf Hess Any bootlegger sure ˔pal mine Bessie Smith Any country sexual censorship eventually political censorship Any pitcher throws batter deliberately tries hit ˔Communist Anybody goes business, ought start own union Joey Gallo Anyone sees paints sky green pastures blue ought sterilized Apparently, way girl's heart saw half Victor Mature Archimedes' Principle Politics: light-weight congressman often buoyed force equal weight pork barrel Army Axiom: Any order 禞misunderstood been misunderstood Art flourishes where ˔sense adventure Art hath enemy Ignorance Art either revolutionist or plagiarist Art much less important life, poor life Art 讠seeing identifying Art lie enables us realize truth Art, morality, consists drawing line somewhere Arthur C. Clarke's : It yet proven intelligence any survival value Arts sciences cast ɔmould, found perfected degrees, often handling polishing, bears leisurely lick cubs shape Michel De Montaigne As grow older, pay less attention men . watch As מslave, מmaster. This expresses my idea democracy As twig bent tree inclines Assassination extreme form censorship Autobiography ˙unrivaled vehicle telling truth Bad officials elected citizens vote Baehr's Conclusions: l) Never ʔpissing contest skunk. 2) Grab balls; hearts minds follow Barach's Rule: An alcoholic ˔person drinks own physician Bassagordian's Basic Principle Ultimate Axiom: By , investigating unknown, find or even found Be obscure clearly Beauty folly generally companions Beauty altogether eye beholder Beauty eternity gazing itself ɔmirror Beauty promise happiness our Congressional committee system, our government closer gerontocracy democracy Behind phony tinsel Hollywood lies real tinsel Behind phrase law order many conceal opposition civil rights enforcement dissent Ben Franklin's : full belly makes full brain Bernetic's : doggone computer man's best friend Bersani's : If someone says, "I'm expensive"-believe Better tried twelve carried ޣsix Jeff Cooper Between grief ؅grief Beverly Hills-- pool's paradise Beware Greeks bearing gifts, colored men looking loans, whites understand Negro Beware goes cocktail parties mot drink listen Beware rises power suspender Biography give some kind shape death Birth beginning death Blauw's : Established technology tends persist spite technology Boob Tube Truism: Turn dial see what's another channel-you'll hit commercial Book--єmovie ٶtelevision Books...curse human race Bore--cocktail glass hand lapel Boredom ˔vital problem moralist since half sins mankind caused fear Boredom results deficit sensory responsiveness external world Boren's Laws: l) doubt, mumble. 2) trouble, delegate. 3) charge, ponder Bores bore each too; seems teach anything Borland's Postulate: All gall divided three parts: bladder, stones unmitigated Boston ˔moral intellectual nursery busy applying principles trifles Boston--festering mud puddle Both liars incurably shy convince others sincerity looking ʔperson's eyes space Neville Gerson Boyle's : welfare state assumes responsibility health, happiness, general well-being ٗits citizens except taxpayers Bradley's Bromide: If computers too powerful, we organize committee. That'll Bravery being knows afraid Brook's : Adding manpower late software project makes later Bullets, wine, come vintages, Mexican '55 ˼year. '52, Fidel Castro Bureaucracy defends status quo long past quo lost its status Bureaucracy ˔giant mechanism operated pigmies Business basic functions--marketing innovation Business better or worse Business profit business any pickle candy But my back / Time's winged chariot hurrying near But Ȕhappens find himself....mansion which æinhabit dignity days life But this country [Canada] Conservatives conserve or Reformers reform? But ףconsolidation, or concentration, powers, distribution government effected But sniff cocaine gets clothes, neck, under nails Caresse Crosby, jazz-age flapper But words things; small drop ink, falling, dew upon thought, produces which makes thousands, perhaps millions think Lord Byron Buy gold, silver, Swiss francs gun Harry Browne, investment adviser By words mind excited spirit elated Aristophanes Calim everything, concede , defeated, allege fraud Tammany Hall maxim Calvin Coolidge's Comment: We cannot everything once, we something once Campbell's Principle: hoots owl night soar eagle dawn Canada been melting pot; ϔtossed salad Canada needs hewers water haulers wood Canada--triumph politics over geography economics--sometimes seems over sense Cann's Axiom: else fails, read instructions Cannon's Cogent Comment: major cause divorce ˔man's inability start outboard motor ten tries Capital such evil; its wrong use evil Capital punishment ˜fundamentally wrong cure crime charity wrong cure poverty Capital punishment.been religious punishment irreconcilable humanism Carthago delenda est. (Carthage must destroyed.) Cicero Cavanaugh's Discovery: Never, ever, enter battle wits half-armed Censorship, charity, begin home; , unlike charity, end Character destiny Charles de Gaulle's Postulate: graveyards full indispensable men Charley's : Computers invented Murphy Cheop's : Nothing ever gets built schedule or within budget Chicago strange metaphysical elegance death Chicago--pompous Milwaukee Children our most valuable natural resource Children unpredictable. inconsistency they're catch next Children need love, especially deserve Christian life consists faith charity Christianity might anyone ever tried Christianity, above , given clear-cut answer demands human soul Chuck's Conclusion: small carafe wine illogical, immoral, inadequate Cities growing vast arteries showing outskirts Civilization profits go hand hand Civilization ˔method living, attitude equal respect men Civilization ˔race education catastrophe Civilization--victory persuasion over force Cleveland--Two Hobokens back back Clifford's Proclamation: VD clap Cocaine isn't habit forming. --I've been using ̶years Tallaulah Bankhead Cohen's : really matters name succeed imposing facts-facts themselves College professor--someone talks people's sleep Colleges teach dead languages buried living ones dead Colonialism reduces culture colonized person level folklore propaganda Comedy last refuge nonconformist mind Commandment Number One any truly civilized society this: Let ߞdifferent Committee--group men keep minutes waste hours Committee-group men individually آgroup decide ئdone Communication something simple difficult we put simple words Communism ˔society where each works according ability gets according needs Communism. any revealed religion, largely made prophecies Competence, truth, beauty contact lens, eye beholder Computers figure ޗkinds problems, except things world Ͳadd Conceit causes conversation wit Conscience born ҿshed fur, tail, pointed ears Conservatives necessarily stupid, most stupid ߛconservatives Consistency ˔paste jewel cheap men cherish Consistency last refuge unimaginative Consistency requires ignorant today year ago Conversation means being able disagree still continue conversation Convictions dangerous enemies truth lies Cooper's Affection: Home where, place go, gotta Courage ˔quality necessary maintaining virtue ˘respected, even associated vice Courage grace under pressure Courage walking naked cannibal village Coward: whom instinct self-preservation acts normally Creative intelligence its various forms activities makes Creativeness minds been known survive any kind bad training Credulity man's weakness, child's strength Crime contagious. If government becomes lawbreaker, breeds contempt law Criticism comes easier craftsmenship Criticism--big bite someone's back Crosby's Deduction: Old doctors die, lose patients Culture best been said thought world Culture butcher surgeon Custom often overrule reason/And serves reason fool Custom often blind 輜well evil effects any long-established system Cynic: n. blackguard whose faulty vision sees things , לought Cynicism ˙unpleasant way saying truth Cynicism disappointed idealism Cynicism disillusioned idealism Cynicism humor ill-health Cynicism--intellectual cripple's substitute intelligence Dad's : most valuable gift give family ˔example Dear authors! Suit topics strength, ponder well subject its length Lord Byron Death even triviality momentous Death greatest loss life. greatest loss dies inside us while we live Death psychosomatic Charles Manson Death tugs my ear says: "Live, am coming" Death: penultimate commercial transaction finalized probate Democracy arose men's thinking equal any respect, equal absolutely Democracy ˔device insures we shall governed better we deserve Democracy finding proximate solutions insoluble problems Democracy art running circus monkey cage Democracy art thinking independently together Democracy recurrent suspicion half ߛright half Democracy worst system ٗforms government Democracy means government uneducated, while aristocracy means government badly educated Democracy substitutes selection incompetent many appointment corrupt few Democracy me liberty plus economic security Democracy מsalvaged men talk fluently, debate forcefully quote aptly Destiny הmatter chance, ˔matter choice; הwaited , ˔achieved Dickerson's Truism: "Off top head" ideas often dandruff-small flaky Die, my dear Doctor, that's last shall ! Diplomacy art saying "Nice doggie!" till find rock Diplomacy /nastiest nicest way Discipline focused awareness....contribute act creation Distrust men whom impulses punish powerful Do men . That's true business precept Do thou wilt shall whole Alister Crowley Do gives me pleasure? see my dividends come John D. Rockefeller Doctor Strangelove wouldn't lasted three weeks Pentagon Herman Kahn Doelger's Findings: Politicians's political issues true enough-facts been made Doelger's : Always find our kids doing stop Don't agnostic--something Don't buy landslide. want pay vote Joseph P. Kennedy, JFK's election strategy Don't mad, even Joseph P. Kennedy Don't mad, interest Unknown Coke Dealer Don't idea I'm those goddamn radicals. Don't idea I'm knocking American system Al Capone Don't go broke, go public Wall Street wisdom Don't jump ڔunless he's Don't steal hubcaps. Steal car Frank Sinatra Don't talk unless improve silence Dont' forget split my infinitives Dutch Schultz, reporters press conference Doyle's Ones: If off , Dr. Cohen's First Rule Clinical Medicine: hurt Dr. Nordstrom's First Rule Debate: It difficult win argument opponent unencumbered knowledge facts Dr. Reyer's Reflection: Losing makes winning worthwhile Dr. Tobias's Conclusion: secret ټhealth eating raw onion day. Trouble , ۦkeep ̔secret Dr. Van Sickle's Theory: Basically function heart keep pumping Dusinberre's Conclusion: I'm practice medicine my health, because ain't healthy East. own Chicago. own Miami. own Las Vegas Sam Giancana, asked ìliving Eddy's Old Chinese Proverb: sticks neck, wins nose Edison's Axiom: We millionth l% anything Education transmission civilization Einstein's Theory Relatives: number person's relatives directly proportional fame Eisenhower told me trust Communist Emil Freireich's : General solutions specific problems become specific problems requiring general solutions Enjoy view? Captain Bligh froze ɔblock ice while being punished posting crow's nest H.M.S. Bounty rounded Cape Good Hope Ethical --Christian holding four aces European countries....treat timber crop. We treat timber resources mine Even right track, you'll run over sit Even polished brass pass upon rough gold Even Canadian humor awful lies being awful its own fresh way Every beginning ˔consequence--beginning ends some Every use Mother Nature gave şFather Time takes away Every great nowadays disciples, ˘Judas writes biography Every great business somewhere touch idealist Every three characters--which exhibits, which , which thinks Every prefers belief exercise judgement Every belly full classics ˙enemy human race Every society honors its conformists its dead troublemakers Every word superfluous flows away full mind Horace Everybody rise , "Thank , Mr. President, bombing Haiphong Martha Mitchell Everyone Child past Everything either illegal, immoral or fattening Alexander Woolcott Everything art chosen artist art Everything worth precisely much belch, being belch satisfying Excuse me, go belt somebody Humphrey Bogart Expression Politician Who Didn't Wish Quoted: Long ago we forgot best most best Failures usually most conceited men Fate nonawareness Fear death?--feel fog my throat,/mist my face Feldman's : Don't lie, steal, or cheat unnecessarily Feldstein's : Never, ever, play leapfrog unicorn Ferdinand Lundberg's : such "cheap politician." Fervid atheism usually screen repressed religion Few words, wonderfully clear Homer Filson's : "Push" force exerted upon door marked PULL Fine art which hand, head, heart go together John Ruskin Finley Peter Dunne's Creddo: Trust everybody; cut cards Firestone's Negative Reformulation Frisch's : cannot ”baby month nine women pregnant First think we , let's kill lawyers Shakespeare, "Henry VI", part II Flap's : Any inanimate object, regardless its position or configuration, may expected perform any ɔtotally unexpected manner reasons either entirely obscure or else Flynn's Rumination: If my life live over again, I'd same mistakes sooner For Heaven's sake catch me kill . cannot help myself William Heirens, mass murderer For Shakepeare, matter religion, choice lay Christianity . chose For credibility gap ˔gullibility fill For sheets my mother used sew together old cement bags Joe Valachi For words, Nature, half reveal half conceal Soul within Alfred Lord Tennyson Force, violence, pressure, or compulsion view conformity, both uncivilized undemocratic Fortunately yet accustomed eating several times per day Benito Mussolini Fox's Philosophy: most intelligent we Λthose ask advice Frank Sinatra, consider Ɣfriend Mickey Cohen Frisch's : It takes nine months ”baby, matter how many men put job From now , Sidney, ͤfive us barbershop quintet "Crazy Joe" Gallo, murder Albert Anastasia five men ɔbarbershop Fruit Loom Fruity Comment: Don't sell America shorts G.K. Chesterton's : seen truth, makes sense GO AWAY! Inscription doormat home Sam Gaincana Galileo's Conclusion: Science proceeds ӣlearned ignore takes account Generally theories we believe we facts, facts we disbelieve we theories Gentility left over rich ancestors money gone Gentlemen, give Upper Canada; because want myself George Bernard Shaw's : Those -. Those cannot-teach Give me liberty , utter, argue freely according conscience, above liberties Give me children until seven anyone may afterwards Give my love my mother Francis "Two Gun" Crowley, Prohibition gunman Give investigators hors d'oeurve maybe won't come back main course Richard Nixon Go ޚlie whole family proud Cadmus, Pentheus, ɌBacchae God devil effort specialization division labor God gave me money John D. Rockefeller God help nation where self-caricature satire verboten God help Arnold Rothstein, bailbond clients, necessity appearing court Gods born die, atom endures Goldstein's Axiom: dentist talks patients until drill mouths Good communication ˜stimulating coffee, ͜hard sleep Good words worth much cost George Herbert Good writing ˔kind skating which carries off performer where go Ralph Waldo Emerson Goodness Mae West Grab 'em nose kick 'em pants General George Patton Grandma Soderquist's Thought: those even rubbed right way Grandma Soderquist's Truism: Most pigs end making hogs themselves Greenberg's First Experts: ever ask barber whether need haircut Grosch's : Computing power increases square cost. If want twice cheaply, four times fast Gross's Postulate: Facts חequal. facts bad facts. Science consists using facts Guidelines Bureaucrats: 1) charge ponder. 2) trouble delegate. 3) doubt mumble Gynecologist's Remark: I've busy day orifice H.L. Mencken's : main trouble democracy eventually realize vote themselves treasury; then anarchy H.L. Mennchen's Corollary: Those teach-administrate. Those administrate- run office Habit test truth;/"It must right; I've done ̷my youth." Hanoi delenda est P.J. O'Rourke Hardyman's Truism: Random stomping seldom catches bugs Hart's Inverse-Care : availability ټmedical care tends vary inversely need population Hartley's First : lead horse water, float back-you've something Harvard's : Under most rigorously controlled conditions pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, variables, organism damn well pleases Harvey's Homily: man's brain Achilles' heel Have courage live. Anyone die Hawkinson's : Every clarification breeds questions [Julius Caesar] husband wife wife husband Suetonius chip shoulder ready use kindle argument right . That's police record means Raymond Chandler left off reading altogether, great improvement originality ˙old bore; even grave yawns crazy; comes back shoot sight Adolf Hitler, Rudolf Hess forced literate illiterate, witty witless knows art, ñlikes paints bird sings born hanged shall Ԟdrowned tried steal chain could swim old slave traders' joke He'd drink beer our ٔpoliceman's boot Brenden Behan He's kind bore who's here today here tomorrow Heaven goes favor. If went merit, stay ޚdog go Hello, suckers Texas Guinan, Prohibition hostess Hemingway's remarks literature Henry's Politican Pragmatism: To run political office, takes ˔few bucks, pretty face, glib tongue, church membership, large family, absolutely sense economics Heredity believes until son begins behave ϔdelinquent Hildebrant's Rule: True wealth much having talent, industry, bit luck, having lots money Hill's Corollary Alimentation: If God meant us consume peanut butter, lined our mouths Teflon His conscience drove excess geniality conscious feeling none History record ٙencounter character circumstance History sort trudge form Adam atom Hit head Boris Badenov Hitler great admiration Stalin. afraid some radical might come place Joachim von Ribbentrop Hoare's Large Programs: Inside large program ˔small program struggling Hobson's Homily: Common sense least ٗsenses Hodge's Homily: comes ɔman's life must rise above principle Hodges' : problem government scratches where ain't itch Hodghead's Cynicism: husband (or wife) ˔person sticks troubles wouldn't ¿hadn't married (or ) place Hoffman's Rule: Smile-makes wonder thinking Hollywood--place where ߷Iowa mistake each ݶmovie stars Hollywood: word syllable here, fillum Honore de Balzac's Conclusion: giant machine operated pygmies, ˔bureaucracy Horgan's Homily: We won't personal computing until we Кtalking Horowitz's Song In-House Computer Programs: "IO, IO, it's off work we go..." gaily wakes morning watch himself keep dying long lies word! William Shakespeare many honest words suffered corruption since Chaucer's days! Thomas Middleton prophetic L'Enfant laid Washington city goes around circles Howe's : Every scheme won't work Humor laughing haven't ought It My Way Sid Vicious, Sex Pistols acted show my love Jodie Foster John Hinkley admit I'm gambler Vincent Ciucci, charged murdering wife three children adore Rochdale College. exactly Paris during riots. Garbage everywhere seem suffer loss faith entering cities am John Schwartz, Alfred Packer Alfred Packer, cannibal am citizen, Athens or Greece, world am deep-dyed scoundrel. But help me God driven ̣oppression wrong! Joaquin Murieta, Old West gunslinger am member rabble ɼstanding Westbrook Pegler am convinced ӚӴday fine writing , next find doing, top world John Keats am deeply hurt calling me hater. But am monster. am Son Sam David Berkowitz am introduce resolution Postmaster General stop reading dirty books deliver mail am habit shooting ȅsometimes mistakes, least shot Hermann Goring am afraid my own heart pope cardinals, within me great pope, Self am bored anywhere; being bored ˙insult oneself am הcrook Richard Nixon am part ٗread am responsible God history am somewhat surprised Ĕmember Church quote essentially Protestant document Bible am devil come devil's work! Charles "Tex" Watson, Charles Manson associate am inferior any whose rights trample underfoot am master my fate;/am captain my soul am holligan! Emmeline Pankhurst, British suffragette ate ate me Idi Amin Dada become problem instead solution problem Nelson Rockefeller believe white supremacy until blacks educated point responsibility belong organized political party--am Democrat came here die, єspeech Crawford "Cherokee Bill" Goldsby hire half working class kill half Jay Gould see it's wrong give Ɣlegal experience goes practice law John F. Kennedy, appointing Robert Kennedy Attorney General stand squealers. Hit Albert Anastasia genius hereditary, because heaven granted me offspring challenge murderers Dion O'Bannion shoot me State Madison Louis "Three Gun" Alterie conceived least great love my life, which object consider myself most powerful figure world Idi Amin Dada consider day misspent am either charged crime, or arrested "Ratsy" Tourbillon ¥ƙs.o.b. ۝ John F. Kennedy, Canadian Prime Minister John Diefenbaker decide. . Me Frank Hague, former mayor Jersey City, N.J ̶money Alfred Krupp, German industrialist under Hitler inherit any money Moe Dalitz dislike arguments any kind. vulgar, often convincing rule Russia; then thousand clerks believe education most . Teach how use lathe let go even street Canada even street Canada Al Capone ulcers. give 'em! Lyndon B. Johnson God exists, better His reputation í much Americanism, it's damned word which carry election Dutchman. He's crocodile. He's sneaky. trust Jack "Legs" Diamond, ͟peace conference Dutch Schultz life here New York. greenery. It єstone sick meet competition. crush Charles Revson trust Legs. He's nuts. gets excited start pulling trigger another wipes nose Dutch Schulkz, ͟peace conference "Legs" Diamond find this corpse guilty carrying concealed weapon fine $40 Judge Roy Bean, finding pistol $40 ڔhe'd shot forgot talking me. sound wonderfully convincing gave my life learning how live./Now organized ̗....It ͕over sexual satisfaction breaking ʔplace. anything William Heirens, convicted burglar, kidnapper, murderer guess [Harry Truman] apologize calling me s.o.b. apologize being John F. Kennedy censor everything my sons watched....even Mary Tyler Moore show heard word damn! hate false words, seek care, difficulty, moroseness, those fit Walter Savage Landor ˜thought ٔdog lover dog love another dog been too lenient Adolf Hitler definitional problems word 'violence'. word 'violence' means CIA Director William Colby been able understand why because am unintelligible nobody understand me felt salvation nature. love cities above prepare profound message Spiro T. Agnew often looked women committed adultery my heart Jimmy Carter spent lot searching Bible loopholes W.C. Fields happiness [democracy] ˔rising, הsetting sun want see looked spotlight Jim Morrison knew : soon anyone said need gun, you'd better along worked Raymond Chandler men behave men--strong childish love criticism long it's unqualified praise love my country better my family; love humanity better my country love treason hate traitor Julius Caesar maintain Christianity ˔life much religion must been insufferable child; children cease being dumbfounded unbelievable things believe cheated honest , rascals. wanted something . gave ضsomething Joseph "Yellow Kid" Weil Ԭanything deserve reputation unless supply beer wanted Dutch Schultz, being designated Public Enemy Number One drive over 50 kmph densely populated area Adolf Hitler killed deserve Mickey Cohen killed need Clay Allison, Old West outlaw knew ruined bad book knew politician go wrong until he's been contaminated contact business turned blue anyone's bathroom. think that's height bad taste Keith Richards wanted see anybody die, 뛔few obituary notices read pleasure now how Tojo felt planning Pearl Harbor Robert F. Kennedy, JFK during Cuban Missile Crisis own police Al Capone primitive artist ˙amateur whose work sells promise German husband Adolf Hitler promise you'll bribe another juror William J. Fallon, acquittal recourse form violence refuse answer question ground my answer may tend degrade or incriminate me Arnold Rothstein, gambler reject --done, --happen thinking. want slow things understand better saw once last twenty years. That shot me Frank Weiss, talking brother Hymie see Serpent Canada courts me love see many enemies around mighty few friends Billy Kid see objection principle censorship mass entertainment young shall come night we shall see stringer--кwon't eat dinner ٔgreat big cocaine veins Sigmund Freud, fiancee shall consider my patriotic duty keep Elvis ninety per cent bracket Colonel Tom Parker put bum away early, my timing fraction ٙiota off Philadelphia Jack O'Brian, pugilist shut my eyes order see steal Sam Giancana, explaining livelihood draft board any business foolish fool around secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine Barry Goldwater think he's nurtured secret desire hood Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra think maybe ɴcompany today ˘least person ˻crazy slowly tremble my country reflect God trust , even myself Joseph Stalin trust lion meets duty J.P. Morgan Teddy Roosevelt's safari want hamburger John DeLorean, posting $10-million bail want my own fucking country Robert Vesco want peace live let live Al Capone want white man's brother, brother--law want killed hell-firing minute smoking action "Blackface" Charley Bryant, Dalton gang member want go ɔblaze glory David Berkowitz want wipe off chair rat sat Francis "Two Gun" Crowley (next last words) wanted ̙even fifty Monk Eastman warmed both hands fire life;/ It sinks, am ready depart freethinker how think six Jill St. John following orders Adolf Eichmann giving orders Thomas King Forcade, publisher long writing my review Խaround reading book wasn't rob , or touch , or rape . wanted kill David Berkowitz wear Nazi uniform show I'm anti-Nazi Brian Jones shorter head Elizabeth wish British Government give Canada once. It fit آbreed quarrels won't cause any trouble except escape John Dillinger wonder whether we publishing now worth cutting trees paper stuff gladly pay Tuesday hamburger today J. Wellington Wimpy anything indecent violent TV ˔crime against humanity, shoot head responsible Ted Turner, cable-TV network owner wouldn't believe Hitler dead, even told me himself Hjalmar Schact, Nazi Economics Minister wrecked trains because see die. scream Sylvestre Matuschka, "Hungarian Train Wreck Freak" I'd rather free bottle front me pre-frontal lobotomy S. Clay Wilson, artist I'd rather wake middle nowhere any city earth I'll pen ink, write my mind William Shakespeare I'll kill son ٔbitch Jack Ruby I'll moider da bum "Two-Ton" Tony Galento I'll pull eyeballs Dyno DeStefano, Chicago bill collector I'm 1000 percent behind Tom Eagleton intention dropping Ʒticket George Mc Govern I'm Tommy O'Connor I've escaped county jail! Drive hell! "Terrible" Tommy O'Connor I'm convinced boy, heart, rather steal second base automobile I'm Vietnam request White House President Johnson war isn't really war my jokes. Bob Hope I'm shoot some peasants Sam "Golf Bag" Hunt, explaining policeman why carrying shotgun ɔgolf bag I'm charge here Alexander Haig I'm ͙old retired investor, living ڔpension Meyer Lansky I'm peace creep any sense word I'm הbad . I'm everybody else Sonny Liston I'm afraid die. Ͳwant then happens I'm against police; I'm afraid Alfred Hitchcock I'm frightened world ending. few nuclear devices may explode cause immense damage I'm smart enough lie Ronald Reagan I'm pals everybody Lucky Luciano I'm sorry missed Squeaky Fromme I'm sorry , ͔piece hotheaded foolishness Dion O'Bannion, ڔ1920's rub- I've Hubert's pecker my pocket Lyndon B. Johnson I've eighteen straight whiskies. think ˔record Dylan Thomas I've Կproblem drugs; I've problems police Keith Richards I've realized, fourteen months this country, value money, whether clean dirty Nguyen Cao Ky I've voted against [civil rights].doing creating rights expense If Canada underdeveloped, Brigitte Bardot If England treats criminals way treated me, deserve any If England treats criminals way treated me, deserve any Oscar Wilde If God , bad? Charles Manson If God wanted us brave, why give us legs? If could drop dead right now, I'd happiest alive! If been born Peron, liked Peron Juan Peron If read much men known If clear mess, I'd shoot J.R. Ewing If made peace Russia today, I'd attack again tomorrow. ͩhelp myself Adolf Hitler If Jack's love, he's judge Jill's beauty If Robert Kennedy alive today, support my petition parole Sirhan Sirhan If child lives approval, learns live himself If thing's worth having, it's worth cheating W.C. Fields If any demonstrator lays front my car, it'll last car ôlays front George Wallace If built great numbers, motels used آillegal purposes J. Edgar Hoover If everything I've done true, I'd ɔpenitentiary long ago Jerry Lee Lewis If takes bloodbath, let's over Ronald Reagan If weren't Abe [Lincoln], I'd still open market If modern civilized ҿkill animals eats, number vegetarians rise astronomically If Roman ߿single neck! Caligula If ߛtalk, conversation becomes impossible If some ߽rights complain being deprived wrongs If Republicans stop telling lies Democrats, we stop telling truth If critics right we deep trouble If facts fit theory, change facts Albert Einstein If national mental illness United States megalomania Canada paranoid schizophrenia If we encounter rare intellect, we ask books reads If we wish єworld we material ready. , too, wan made chaos If convince 'em, confuse 'em Harry Truman If go men's funerals won't go yours If I'm talking , share lack knowledge. I'm talking General Lewis B. Hershey If where , probably end somewhere else If anything, won't repeat If anything, won't repeat Calvin Coolidge If give me six lines written most honest , find something ti hang Cardinal Richelieu If guys ”beef , that's problem. Don't lay me. old lady care own weight Herbie Sperling, convicted heroin dealer, being arrested narcotics possession mother's house If guys want sensation, try hauling corpse around ɔcar hoot owls hooting Ralph Jerome von Braun Selz, "Laughing Murderer" If look rather casual knife flick open, ߲ Gerry Youghlins, cutlery expert If start throwing hedgehogs under me, shall throw porcupines under Nikita Khrushchev If think speak, fellow gets joke If think United States stood still, built largest shopping center world? Richard Nixon If want see children , must stop giving things If want my picture, it'll cost fiver. If , I'll smash camera Sid Vicious If you've seen city slum, you've seen Spiro T. Agnew Imhoff's : organization any bureaucracy very much ϔseptic tank-really bad chunks rise top Immature artists imitate. Mature artists steal Pablo Picasso Impersonal criticism ϙimpersonal fist fight or impersonal marriage, successful In Canada we ban demonstrations, we re-route In few minutes computer єmistake great many men many months equal In real estate man's eye, most exclusive part city wherever house sell In my years public life obstructed justice Richard Nixon In systems theology devil figures male person. Yet, women keeps church In business school classrooms construct wonderful models nonworld In real Ҕchild hidden wants play In well-governed state wealth ˔sacred ; democracies sacred In hierarchy employee tends rise level incompetence In private heart much respects himself In literature love, we astonished chosen others In matters conscience, law majority place In most countries, grow fiercely possessive property. It ˔bastion conservatism In future, fewer better Russians Joseph Stalin In long run we dead In postwar years, born minute P.J. O'Rourke In sex field, totally stupid still money Al Goldstein, editor Screw In those days wiser now--used frequently my advise Inject few raisins conversation tasteless dough existence Insanity hereditary; ̷children Integrity need rules Intellect annuls fate. So far thinks, free Intelligent discontent mainspring civilization Invention mother invention Is life hundred times too short us bore ourselves? It ain't those parts Bible 照understand bother me, parts 煯understand It matter how badly paint long paint badly It ˔far, far better ”firm anchor nonsense put troubled sees thought It ˔luxury understood It ˗right hold conversation go now then It courage world needs, infallibility....courage ˘surest wisdom It easier love humanity whole love one's neighbor It extremely natural us desire see such our thoughts put dress words, which indeed we scarce ”clear distinct idea ourselves Eustace Budgell It hard feel individually responsible respect invisible processes ٔhuge distant government It hard think top It impossible experience one's death objectively still carry tune It my ambition ten sentences everyone else says ɔwhole book, - everyone else ɔwhole book Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche It my conviction God ordained segregation It necessary me establish winner image. Therefore, beat somebody Richard Nixon It odds us we kill someone Heinrich Himmler It small moral stature stand dignity It possible student win twelve letter university learning how write It probably safe over long period , political morality been high business morality It questionable ˗mechanical inventions yet made lightened day's toil any human being It stupid modern civilization given believing devil explanation It useless sheep pass resolutions favor vegetarianism while wolf remains ٔdifferent opinion It heart, cannot write masses Heinrich Heine It takes great єlistener It used needed products survive. Now products need survive It romance old age Frank Hague, former mayor Jersey City, N.J., proposing social security legislation beauty skin deep, or I'd rotten core rather pleasant experience alone ɔbank night Willie Sutton crackers slip rozzer dropsy snide. (crazy pay off police counterfeit money) Cockney business motto kinder funny, matter how our blood , we hate lose any most unhappy most fear change Jacquin's Postulate Democratic Governments: No man's life, liberty, or property safe while legislature session Jason's : An unbreakable toy ˼breaking toys Jersey City moralest [sic] city America former mayor Frank Hague Johnson's First Politics: As soon elected, "Honorable" front name Johnson-Laird's : Toothaches tend occur Saturday nights Judas sold Christ 30 denari, this [Pope Alexander VI] sell ƶ29 Ottaviano Ubaldini, chamberlain Pope Alexander VI Just because turn contract ڔmean isn't hit "Joey", hit Just because everything different mean anything changed Justice Douglas' : right left alone indeed beginning ٗfreedom Justive incidental law order J. Edgar Hoover Juvenile delinquency starts high chair ends death chair Kamin's Politics: attempting predict forecast microeconomic moves or economic legislation politician, Ԟmisled says; instead watch ð Kamin's : Politicians inflate given opportunity Keep patting enemy back until small bullet hole appears fingers Joseph Bonanno Kelley's : Father's day Mother's day-except gets cheaper gift Kids lead tough life....Kids my ”lot ɨ....Only our problems aren't solved older Kill love killing. Kill love Kali Hindu saying Kill parents Jerry Rubin Kissing hand may feel very, very , diamond sapphire bracelet lasts forever Anita Loos Kling's Contrast: Statesmen true even though may unpopular. Politicians popular even though may untrue Knebel's : It now proved beyond doubt smoking leading causes statistics Knowledge ruin my young men Adolf Hitler Knowledge foundation source ټwriting Horace Kopcha's Rule: ˘son ٔbitch counted Kramer's : which way train went looking track L'etat c'est moi. (state, that's me) Louis XIV LaRochefoucaulds's : kind heart value chess Laocoon's Improbable Generosity: Don't look gift horse mouth, check Greek soldiers elsewhere its anatomy Lauengayer's Maxim: All world's analog stage, digital circuits play bit parts Launegayer's : Vampires poor unfortunate souls suffering iron deficiency anemia heard Geritol Laws made broken John Wilson, English author Le Chatelier's : If some stress brought bear ڔsystem equilibrium, equilibrium displaced direction which tends undo effect stress Learn write well, or write John Dryden John Sheffield Leo Rosten's : Second-rate hire third-rate Let proclaim principle. Public sentiment surely side Let turn twist slowly, slowly wind John Ehrlichman Let worthy citizens Chicago liquor best way . I'm sick job. thankless ۚfull grief Al Capone Let eat cake Marie Antoinette Let gall enough thy ink, though thou wrote goosepen, matter William Shakespeare Let's Gary Gilmore, firing squad Liberals dump con or trouble. Conservatives better. run "Crazy Joe" Gallo Life cease funny die any ceases serious laugh Like weak men laid exaggerated stress changing one's mind Linus Pauling's Rumination: best way ”idea ”lot ideas Literature מsuppressed merely because offends moral code censor Litzler's International Travel: Never, ever, fly airline country which departing Live fast, die young, ”-looking corpse Willard Motley Lo! Men become tools tools Lobbyists touts protected industries Loeb's Laws Medicine: 1) If doing working, keep doing . 2) If doing working, stop doing . 3) If , anything. 4) Above , let surgeon patient Long's Notes: l) Never underestimate power human stupidity. 2) Beware altruism. It based self-deception, root ٗevil Louis's Logic: One ۰necessarily 11 Luebbert's : Liars caught tale Lyndon's : If person answers phone cannot answer question, it's bureaucracy MacWhinney's : some lack intelligence, stupidity Macalusp's Doctrine: You've been sick ͟stop breathing Maier's Laws: If facts conform theory, must disposed Malinowski's : Looking far above, our high places safety developed civilization, easy see crudity irrelevance magic Malkin's Rule: things own, owned things Man blames fate accidents, feels personally responsible makes hole Man ˔complex being: makes deserts bloom--lakes die Man demolishing nature....We killing things keep us alive Man raw wild, reasons why needs Christian teaching Man animal contemplates death, also animal shows any sign doubt its finality Man believes Man weeps think die soon; , born long ago Man's capacity justice makes democracy possible, man's inclination unjustice makes democracy necessary Management objectives works objectives. Ninety percent Mankind tired liberty Benito Mussolini Mankind owes child best give Manly's Maxim: Logic ˔systematic method coming wrong conclusion confidence Many bum show been saved flag George M. Cohan Mao's poems better Hitler's paintings לWinston Churchill's Arthur Waley, scholar Far East Martin Luther King most notorious liar country Matzger's Maxim: "government subsidy" ˹some own money back May Heaven half hour Devil knows dead McAuley's Axiom: If system sufficient complexity, built designed, implemented tested, outdated debugged Merskey's Rules: 1) Do silly test silly answer. 2) In hospital deaths occur bed bed, patient bed. 3) Any drug anything Mo Udall's First Politics: If find something everyone agrees , it's wrong Mo Udall's Second Politics: hard convince Modern art happens painters stop looking girls persuade themselves ”better idea Modern ...ceased credulous...need believe haunts Moe Dalitz ˔respectable citizen Jimmy Hoffa Money talks. money, louder talks Arnold Rothstein Money pretty dog won't buy wag tail Monopoly business end its journey More Van Roy's Postulates: 1) Swallow much digest . 2) Never change diapers midstream. 3) go ڔdiet, lose temper Most us becomes parents long we stopped being children Most some sort religion--least church they're staying away Mr. [Irvin] Cobb took me library showed me books, which complete set Mrs. Murphy's : average talks 50% husband listens Mueller's : ”problem think ˔problem Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo. world wants cheated, cheat Xaviera Hollander Murphy's Eighth : If everything seems well, obviously overlooked something Murphy's Eleventh : It impossible anything foolproof, because fools ingenious Murphy's Fifth : If anything cannot go wrong, anyway Murphy's First : Nothing ˜easy looks Murphy's Fourth : If ˔possibility several things wrong, cause most damage go wrong Murphy's Thermodynamics: Things worse under pressure Murphy's Ninth : Nature sides hidden flaw Murphy's Second : Everything takes longer think Murphy's Seventh : Left themselves, things tend go bad worse Murphy's Sixth : If perceive four possible ways which procedure go wrong circumvent these, then fifth way, unprepared , promptly develop Murphy's Tenth : Mother Nature ˔bitch Murphy's Third : In any field scientific endeavor, anything go wrong go wrong Murray's : If written correctly, legalese perfectly incomprehensible My education liberty read indiscriminately , my eyes hanging My father saint. I'm Indira Gandhi My folks come over Mayflower, meet boat My friends me Ben. Everybody else calls me Me. Siegel. ? That's my name, ain't ? Bugsy Siegel My mother loved children--given anything ȅbeen My policy profess evil My philosophy : Don't think Charles Manson My rackets run strictly American lines they're stay way Al Capone My real judgement my own work spoilt number jolly ideas my G.K. Chesterton My specialty being right ߛwrong My theory Canada, anywhere My tutor watercolors; work ٔfourteen--twelve My uncle ˔Southern planter. He's undertaker Alabama NO OPIUM-SMOKING IN THE ELEVATORS sign, Rand Hotel, New York, 1907 Nancy's Maxim: poor excuse better excuse Never forget says angry Never give sucker even break, or smarten chump W.C. Fields Never trust automatic pistol or D.. deal John Dillinger Neville's Conclusion: Research ˔straight line tangent ٔwell-known assumption center ٔforegone conclusion Newman's : Hypocrisy Vaseline social intercourse Newton's First : Some days it's better stay bed Next originator ٔsentence quoter Ralph Waldo Emerson Nice guys finish last Leo Durocher No Copper ever me alive George "Machine Gun" Kelly No Ҧcause grief clinging blindly vices ancestors No stuff made until prosperity ease try No ɔhurry quite civilized No listen talk íturn next No matter how much cats fight, seem plenty kittens No matter how old , keep desire creative, keeping -child alive No member ٔsociety right teach any doctrine contrary society holds true No niggah's white , because niggah's ܔfew shawt yeahs cannibalism No could rich enough buy right such bore No Ҧterrorize whole nation unless we accomplices No really listens anyone else, try ̶while you'll see why No stands closer criminal mentality lawyer Adolf Hitler Nobody ever outgrows Scripture; book widens deepens our years Nobody shoots Santa Claus Al Smith Nobody shot me last words Frank Gusenberg asked police shot fourteen times machine gun Saint Valentine's Day Massacre Nobody's perfect Joe E. Lewis Norman's Household Hint: Give me home where buffalo roam, you've room full buffalo chips Not women old slippers manage look Cinderella Nothing life exhilarating shot result Winston Churchill Nothing illegal hundred businessmen decide Andrew Young Nothing interesting interested Nothing exciting or gathers crowd fast burning police car Chicago policeman Nothing firmly believed which least known Nothing upholds laws punishment persons whose rank ˜great crime Nothing then unchangeable inherent inalienable rights Nothing please Kremlin this country choose second-rate President Richard Nixon Nowlan's Deduction: Following path least resistance makes men rivers crooked Nowlan's Theory: hesitates lost, several miles next freeway exit Mad Author: If truth once, believe again, matter how much lie Occasional vulgarity ˔-product vitality passion which 릞great art Of arts which wise excel, nature's chief masterpiece writing well John Sheffield, Duke Buckingham Normanby Of tasks government most basic protect its citizens against violence Often test courage die live Oh L.. polyethyl-vinyl trees bloom! Oh, , טwinter Canada Old Cadillacs die Dizzy Gillespie Old love give advise; compensates inability set bad example On whole I'd rather Philadelphia Once toothpaste tube, it's hard back H.R.(Bob) Haldeman One keep bad governments keep Communists One must lose desires. mightly stimulants creativeness, love, long life One my chief regrets during my years theater 煩sit audience watch me One 赚most important things critic learn how sleep undetected theater One greatest creations human mind art reviewing books having read One greatest failings today's executive inability he's supposed One things capitalism brought world democracy, though think inseparable One short sleep past, we wake eternally,/And Death shall :/Death, thou shalt die! One certain rest Lies;/Flower once blown forever dies One way sure crime pay let government run Ronald Reagan Only Capone kills George "Bugs" Moran, Saint Valentine's Day Massacre Only peace wastes capitalism tolerated Only modern city offers mind grounds which ˦achieve awareness itself Only lost curiosity future reached age write autobiography Ornstein's : Nobody ever puts ޔsign says NICE DOG Other talk overpopulation problem. At least I'm doing something accused murderer Our educational system disqualifies ߶honest work Our inequality materializes our upper class, vulgarizes our middle class, brutalizes our lower class Our real disease--which Democracy Ours country deliberately founded ڔidea Pacifism simply undisguised cowardice Paint Johnny Torrio ɔcorner he'll walk off brush Jack McPhaul, journalist Painting silent poetry, poetry painting speaks Paranoia ͔kind awareness, awareness ͔form love Charles Manson Parents last earth ought children Pareto's : Twenty percent customers account 80 percent turnover, 20 percent components account 80 percent cost, forth Paris well worth mass Henri IV Parker's Political Statements: truth ٔproposition its credibility vice versa Pate's Postulate: bird hand too small dinner (or bush may taste better anyway) Pate's Prattle: Bureaucrats meat loaf humanity Pay attention critics ; statue even been put critic Peer's Possibility: Too many books cover Peers's : solution problem changes nature problem People ask criticism want praise People equally horrified hearing Christian religion doubted, seeing practiced People think things worth believing it's hard believe People sleep ϔbaby usually People want something ؛life's suckers Meyer Lansky Perfect valor unwitnessed we capable doing world Perfection such nuisance often regret having cured myself using tobacco Perfection means confusion ends seem characterize our age Perhaps most striking Canada part United States Perhaps true dignity capacity despise himself Personally, sooner written Alice Wonderland whole Encyclopedia Britannica Peter's Placebo: An ounce image worth pound performance Philosopher's Principle: It shameful distrust one's friends deceived Pigs cows chickens ߛcompeting grain Poirier's Comment: Procrastination, ϗlong words, thief Polis' Attorney's : Any law enacted fifty words contains least loophole Political power grows barrel ٔgun Mao Zedong Pollack's Prognosis: Things turn well end visit proctologist Poverty mother crime Preston's Axiom: Never put off till tomorrow avoid together Preston's Postulates: l) uses bad language ˙ignorant shnuck. 2) Love thy neighbor, sure husband away. 3) Two live cheaply ..half long Prisons rehabilitate, punish, protect, hell ? Production application tools materials, logic work Professor Dillon Rule: God we understand God Profitability sovereign criterion enterprise Public office last refuge incompetent Public service my motto Al Capone Pulliam's Postulate: Never step anything soft Put God work maximize potential our divinely ordered capitalist system Rabinow's : road patent office paved inventions Radar's Fundamental Truth: grass brown both sides fence Ralph's : It ˔mistake allow any mechanical object realize ɔhurry Reading mind exercise body Ready writing makes ׼writing; writing brings ready writing Ben Jonson Reasoning child fine, reach child's reason destroying yours Remember least plain sister family beauty Renau's Rural Ramblings: hole bottom ٔbird's nest usually means enjoys laying eggs, fond children Repartee: person thinks ٖbecomes departee Republicans sleep twin beds--some even separate rooms. That why Democrats Research see everybody else seen, think nobody else thought Retail Buyer's Motto: Never underestimate lack taste buying public Robert's Rule: At history mankind been enough important executive positions available important alive Rosner's Rules: l) Where there's , five hundred relatives. 2) It takes єmarriage-mother Rule Empire force Shogun Tokugawa Sammy Davis Jr's Dictum: professional job even ñfeel Samuel Johnson's Rule: few ways which Ҧinnocently employed making money San Diego ˜close Utopia any American city metropolitan size likely come Satan hasn't single salaried helper; Opposition employs million Sattinger's : It works better plug Schmidt's : Never eat prunes hungry Scrubbing floors emptying bedpans much dignity Presidency Seeing deceiving. eating that's believing Sevaried's : chief cause problems solutions Shalit's Drugstore : These pills habit-forming; I've been taking years Shanahans's : length any meeting rises square number present balanced dignity tip nose made ravishing corpse Show me books loves shall / far better mortal friends Show mercy resist Captain Bligh Silence gives consent, or horrible feeling nobody's listening Since we speak well dead, let's knock while they're alive Sleep lovely, death better still, been born course miracle So lied. So ? Thomas King Forcade So much we management consists making difficult work Socialism آcapitalism lower classes Socialism destroy poverty injustice inequality capacities Society attacks early individual helpless Some men borrow books; some men steal books, others beg presentation copies author Some my best friends MX missiles Ronald Reagan Some read because too lazy think Somebody's boring me.... think it's me Sometimes I've believed many six impossible things breakfast Songs made , extolling kindness Captain Bligh himself Sorenson's : If want politics, go church regularly Spark's Problem Solution: chances solving problem decline closer gets finding cause problem Speech civilization itself....It silence which isolates Stability immobility Stale's : No matter how careful resealing inner liner cereal boxes, tear where glued box Steal person it's plagiarism; steal four ߚit's scholarship Wilson Mizner Steal this book Abbie Hoffman Steven's Rule: One man's trash another man's treasure Stoicism wisdom madness cynicism madness wisdom Such men come Proud, open-eyed laughing tomb Sure dishonest men local government. But dishonest men national government too Richard Nixon Swine Flu Shot Definition: cure which known disease TRESPASSERS WILL BE EATEN sign gate ٔlionguarded estate Ken Burnstine, marijuana smoker Taft's : If "pro" opposite "con" then "Progress" opposite "Congress." Take ƶride Hymie Weiss Take prisoner! General George Armstrong Custer Talk devil, horns appear Tarnauckas' : attention span ٔcomputer ܜlong its electrical cord Thank God I've avoided persecuting my enemies Adolf Hitler Thank goodness we live medeival times fought wars over ideas General Wojciech Jaruzelski That feeling came over me Albert DeSalvo, Boston Strangler That which seems height absurdity generation often becomes height wisdom another That's great advertizing turn Chicago ʔcity you'd want spend three hours That's my private ant. You're liable break its legs That's where money Willie Sutton, being asked why robbed bank "Am Doing Here?" Rule: better leave room try љexplanation something work "Wrong With Me, Doctor?" : Wait, we'll see computer says 1964 Civil Rights Act best ever South my lifetime Abilene Paradox: People groups tend agree courses action which, individuals, Λstupid American Revolution beginning, הconsummation Americans ought ashamed themselves letting medals won Negroes Anglo-Saxon conscience keep doing shouldn't; keeps enjoying Arctic expresses sum ٗwisdom: Silence Attorney's Rule: If facts against , argue law. If law against , pound table yell hell Backed-Up Bathroom Bromide: spirit willing-flush weak Bible most thought-suggesting book world. No deals such grand themes Christians existence Satan dogma church Communists Party cannot neutral toward religion. It stands science, religion opposed science Constitution gives American inalienable right єfool himself Constitution , ought , judges Democratic Party relied єfool itself critical Democratic Party ϔmule--pride ancestry or hope posterity Devil stay where music Duke Windsor's Two Greatest Pieces Advice: Never refuse chance sit or opportunity relieve yourself Engineer's : If ̧done jumpers, isn't worth doing Fail-Safe Theorem: fail-safe system fails, fails failing fail-safe Feather-Bed : Success ͔matter pluck Fuhrer ˘right Joachim von Ribbentrop Germans either feet or throat Winston Churchill Golder Rule: Whoever gold makes rules Good Book--most remarkable euphemisms ever coined Gordian Maxim: If string end, another Hidden Truth Management: Kickbacks must exceed bribes Junk Mail : mailman bringeth trashman taketh away Computability Applied Social Sciences: If succeed, transform data set Predicted Results: Market research conducted interpreted prove any desired conclusion Man ain't prejudiced. care color slaves Mets come along slow, fast! Ninety-Ninety Rule Project Schedules: 90% tasks takes 10% last 10% takes 90% Ordering Principle: Those supplies necessary yesterday's experiment must ordered later tomorrow noon Patient's Rule Concerning Symptoms: הmatter life or death-it's much important Point--No-Return : light end tunnel could turn headlight ٙoncoming train Politician's Rule: In politics often wrong, doubt Prodigal Son's Lament: Home where, feed rutabagas, eat Programmer's Nemesis: Experts theorize , evolution inbreeding, programmers may become distinct subspecies human race Surgeon's Quandary: Oops-cut off again it's still too short System Designer's Trouble: All systems designed wonderfully efficient hell supply input use output U.S. most dangerous destructive power world age ignorance commenced Christian system agnostic's prayer: "O God, ˔god, save my soul, ȅ”soul." alternative totalitarian state cooperative commonwealth ancient sage concocted maxim, "Know Thyself" might added, "Don't Tell Anyone!" Extremists think "communication" means agreeing ancients wrote great art writing badly yet been invented. In those days write meant write well G.C. Lichtenberg art progress preserve order amid change preserve change amid order artist ˔perceptual window artist seismograph age average life, wants another which last forever beaver ˔national symbol Canada. He's busy chewing çsee what's beginnings endings ٗhuman undertakings untidy best argument which seems merely explanation best blood sometimes ʔfool or mosquito best effect any book excites reader self activity best way keep children home home atmosphere pleasant--let air tires best way money money old counterfeiters' saying better part discretion valor books haven't written better books books world calls immoral books show world its own shame business America business capitalists sell us length rope which we destroy Lenin caribou seems idea whatever personal comfort chains habit too weak felt until too strong broken cheaper crook, gaudier patter Dashiell Hammett chief problem lower-income farmers poverty Nelson Rockefeller chief value ɻcollege it's way learn really matter city obsolete; it's center our civilization conservative resists change ˜valuable radical proposes cost living gone another dollar quart W.C. Fields country charms those obliged stay country save worth saving danger past men became slaves. danger future may become robots day come men Judges Carswell Haynsworth sit high court desire safety stands against great noble enterprise devil cite scripture purpose devil could change. once angel may evolving still devil hath power assume pleasing shape devil ˔gentleman goes where welcome dictatorship our greatest examples direct actionists world ever seen dirtiest book ٗexpurgated book discipline desire background character dogma infallibility Bible self-evident infallibility popes end reading books life end human race eventually die civilization equal toleration ٗreligions same atheism essence belief establishment ٔhabit excellence ٴart its intensity, capable making disagreeables evaporate, being close relationship beauty truth John Keats executive exists sensible exceptions general rules family come isn't important family fault child ever loses most punished finding arguments conclusion given advance philosophy, special pleading finest steel go hottest fire ٙOfficeholder: Get re-elected duty ٔrevolutionary away Abbie Hoffman essential Prime Minister 𞔼butcher William Ewart Galdstone gut rats gets bellyful slugs head. Understand? Joey Glimco, trade unionist flush toilet basis Western civilization foolish dead alone change opinion forces capitalist society, left unchecked, tend rich richer poor poorer function socialism raise suffering higher level future hidden even men made government cities conspicuous failure United States government United States any sense founded upon Christian religion great artist simplifier great creative individual....capable wisdom virtue collective ever great law culture: let each become created capable being great masses fall easily victim great lie small Adolf Hitler great strength totalitarian state forces those fear imitate greatest aid bigger better business criminal discovered this generation "Colliers" magazine description Thompson machine gun happiness ٴcountry depends upon character its , rather form its government hardest world find ˙honest partner ɔskin game Arnold Rothstein health ٔdemocratic society may measured quality functions performed private citizens hen's ˙egg's way producing another egg hottest places Hell reserved those great moral crisis maintain neutrality illegal we immediately. unconstitutional takes bit longer Henry Kissinger impossible often untried inspiration Bible depends upon ignorance gentleman reads inventor tries meet demand ٔcrazy civilization laws ٔnation most instructive portion its history Ѕ, owe my ignorance Sacha Guitry, French playwright lives great men rarely remind us anything long distressing controversy over capital punishment very unfair anyone meditating murder long habit living indisposeth us dying main impact computer been provision unlimited jobs clerks read books advantage over read middle road ˗usable surface. extremes, right left, gutters middle road where white line --that's worst place drive misfortune Goldsmith conversation this: goes knowing how off mission United States benevolent assimilations modern child answer back you've said anything moral world ˜exempt physical world law ceaseless change, or perpetual flux change same wit less courage most costly ٗfollies believe passionately palpably true most immutable barrier nature ˠman's thoughts another's most savage controversies those matters which ּevidence either way multitude books making us ignorant mystery beginning ٗthings insoluble us; must content remain agnostic mystic bond brotherhood makes men nation lion's heart. luck give roar nature artistic attainment psychologically inaccessible us nearest immortality this world government bureau electronic independence recreates world image ٔglobal village noblest works foundation proceeded childless men novel highest example subtle interrelatedness discovered obligation endure gives us right older grow, Ӆlisten much serious conviction taken too seriously bad publicity obituary Douglas Kenney, co-author 'Animal House' completely consistent ߛdead courage matters kind gets moment next ܼIndians ever saw dead General Philip Sheridan change mind ˔that's kills Bugs Moran Al Capone, Saint Valentine's Massacre means conservation innovation ߅permit fight duels priests lawyers Adolf Hitler sense ˨long run, sense change--we instinctively avoid necessary triumph evil ˶men things evolve themselves əorganization disorder, friction, malperformance things motivate me matter me revenge guilt Elvis Costello party permits ordinary ahead. Without party, mayor Richard Daley, former mayor Chicago past ˢbeginning ٔbeginning pen tongue mind Miguel De Cervantes Zaire thieves. It merely happen move things or borrow President Mobutu Sese Seko perpetual obstacle human advancement custom philosophers interpreted world; , however, change populace may hiss me, go home think my money, applaud myself Horace power accurate observation commonly cynicism those ׽ prime purpose eloquence keep ߷speaking professional arsonist builds vacant lots money public damned! I'm working my stockholders William Henry Vanderbilt race טswift, nor battle strong--that's way bet Damon Runyon race men, while sheep credulity, wolves conformity rain such friendly sound/To who's six feet underground real danger computer begin think men, men begin think computers rich experience history teaches now הsingle class voluntarily made way another class road ignorance paved editions rule art world : cater masses or kowtow elite; both scriptures teach us best way living, noblest way suffering, most comfortable way dying secret ٗwriting sound judgement Horace secret dealing successfully child its parent sedan represents wife, convertible represents mistress Doctor Dichter, father motivational research serious problems cities largely insoluble now foreseeable future strange disease modern life its brisk hurry divided aims strongest bulwark authority uniformity ; least divergence greatest crime suppression civil liberties many less matter horror curtailment freedom profit tendency everywhere America concentrate power responsibility unmistakable terrible newly-imported American doctrine everyone ought something test Christian character ˔joy-bearing agent world test ٔvocation love drudgery involves Logan Pearsall Smith theory Communists may summed single sentence: Abolition private property things want Λbooks; my best friend who'll me book ain't read things taught schools colleges יeducation, means education kill snake you've hoe hands Lyndon B. Johnson total absence humor Bible most singular things ɗliterature trouble Oakland it's trouble lacks power conversation power speech truly American sentiment recognizes dignity labor fact honor lies honest toil typical liberal-arts college.merely offers smorgasbord courses ultimate censorship flick dial unfortunate this world habits much easier give bad ones university exists find communicate truth unknown ˙ocean. conscience? compass unknown vast majority women pretend vaginal orgasm faking 'get job' Ti-Grace Atkinson, feminist wailing newborn infant mingled dirge dead work internal government become task controlling thousands fifth-rate men world achieved brilliance conscience. Ours ˔world nuclear giants ethical infants world narrowed ʔneighborhood broadened ʔbrotherhood world ˗richer having devil , long we keep our foot upon neck world shocked hearing Christianity criticized seeing practiced worst form unequality try unequal things equal worst moment atheist really thankful nobody thank worst books keep us reading old ones worth ٔstate, long run, worth individuals composing writers against religion, whilst oppose system, wisely careful set any own constitutional right choose die enormous number managers retired job many Communists freedom movement Eskimos Florida lasting bequests we hope give our children. One these roots; , wings places our world where takes precedence over job done: school prison some days think I'm die overdose satisfaction tow times ɔman's life speculate: çafford ̚æ ways exerting one's strength: pushing , pulling daily democracy daily citizenship cannot God because, , believe ׃ been war Canadian origin, nor Canadian cause ˔correlation creative screwball. So we must suffer screwball gladly flogging style flogging style President Zia ul-Haq, Pakistan 텦promise outer-space program; dollars go farther Wernher von Braun credit satisfaction being -rate truck driver tenth-rate executive fate cannot surmounted scorn room kind blind speculation produces booms blights need propaganda rich intellectual content Joseph Goebbels real wordly heavenly wisdom. For religion consecrates daily life permanent except change very admire bureaucracy, ½hand Internal Revenue Service devil advise keep hell human beings aboard Mayflower, merely ancestors There's sucker born minute P.T. Barnum There's way die Tony "Big Tuna" Accarda These last friends Lord Northcliffe, referring Bible revolver آprecinct captains long robes Al Capone, Supreme Court Calvin Coolidge put Negroes schools, now they've driven God They'll shoot me my gun Roy Rogers They're giving bank robbing bad name John Dillinger, Bonnie Clyde Things לbad seem. worse Think twice speak--you'll find everyone talking something else This bosom friend senators congressmen daring early Shirley Temple movie This country מplace any us live unless we ̔place us live This dismal Cairo [Illinois], ugly sepulchre, grave uncheered any gleam promise This establishment goes unconditionally Fuhrer slogan Wittenau lunatic asylum This ˶, Frank Frank "Chin" Gigante, shot Frank Costello head This my death....profit me understand This still very wealthy country. failure spirit insight This virgin territory whorehouses Al Capone, suburbia This makes me sore gets my dandruff This stuff ˜gold John DeLorean This wonderful prison. recommend ̜vacation spot "Dapper Dan" Collins, con This Ԟcivilized country until we spend money books we chewing gum This won't I've arrested somebody then built my case afterward New Orleans District Attorney Jim Garrison Thomas Jefferson founded Democratic Party; Franklin Roosevelt dumbfounded Thompson's Adage: Be kind. Remember everyone meet fighting hard battle Those deny freedom others deserve ׶themselves Those welcome death tried ̷ears Though I'm anything clever,/could talk forever Though deal too strange believed, too strange Three cheers war general Benito Mussolini To agree disagree, harness diversity, respect dissent; perhaps this real essence Canada To success business, daring, , different To able fill leisure intelligently last product civilization To Christ Christian To behave dignity less allow others freely themselves To die landing some distant shore To escape criticism-, , To give accurate exhaustive account period need pen far less brilliant mine To doubted one's own principles mark ٔcivilized To ϙindividual because he's ͜insulting dislike because isn't white To love oneself beginning ٔlifelong romance To many dramatic criticism must trying tattoo soap bubbles To my dear pal Lucky, friend, Frank Sinatra -inscription ڔgold cigarette case belonging Lucky Luciano To my embarrassment born bed lady To my extreme mortification, grew wiser day To paint fine picture far important sell To read reflecting eating digesting To right things right , keep still most To sing same tune, saying , everything cloying offensive; men generally pleased variety Plutarch To speak ill others ˔dishonest way praising ourselves To Gay Laugh my Mother Gate Grave Today's School Graduate's Words Starting Conversation: "..." Today's rebel tomorrow's tyrant Too many cooks spoil brothel Polly Adler Too often we give children answers remember rather problems solve Tough times monkeys eat red peppers Frank Costello Treaties piecrust. made broken Lenin Trend destiny Trust ˼, control better Feliks Dzerzhinski, founder Soviet Cheka, now KGB Tucille's First Reality: Industry moves fill economic vacuum Turnauckas' : To err human; really foul things takes computer Tuttle's First Pollution: You're few feet away product containing PCB Under government which imprisons any unjustly, true place also prison Under capitalism exploits ; under socialism reverse true Underneath this flabby exterior ˙enormous lack character Uneven economic political development ˙absolute law capitalism Utvich's : One accurate measurement worth thousand expert opinions Valery's Definition: Science ˔collection successful recipes Van Roy's Axiom: trouble trouble Van Roy's : Honesty best policy-there's less competition Van Roy's Truism: If 讠advice bad advice, need advice Variety uniformities makes complete beauty Vote early vote often Al Capone (slogan Big Bill Thompson's anti-reform campaign Mayor Chicago, 1926; won) Walder's : mathematician willing assume everything except responsibility Walk groundly, talk profoundly, drink roundly, sleep soundly Walking isn't lost art--must, some means, garage Watch ߛcynical , ۦoften discover lack We citizens history We inclined believe those we , because deceived us We destroy ourselves cynicism disillusion ͜effectively bombs We lick gravity, sometimes paperwork overwhelming We we want, we ready bite somebody We want آConstitution, , less We mastered destiny which broke another [Napoleon] hundred thirty years ago We happens stay middle road--run over We live ɔNewtonian world Einsteinian physics ruled Frankenstein logic We live əage reads too much wise We must courage bet our ideas, calculated risk, act. Everyday living requires courage life effective bring happiness We must ....place where children ”whole group adults trust We need some great statements America ˕we We often forgive those bore us; we cannot forgive those whom we bore We kill each Bugsy Siegel We cats playful creatures, perhaps same us Adolf Hitler We shape our buildings; thereafter shape us We ¿socialism already, socialists We keep Panama Canal. After , we stole fair square We weep men birth, םdeath We want clean pigsty, rid pigs, our own snouts trough Ernst Rohm, storm trooper We driven Jesse James Excellent things rare Plato We anything keep this company alive John DeLorean We'll blast back Stone Age General William Westmoreland, U.S. commander Vietnam We're big business high hats Dion O'Bannion We're bigger U.S. Steel Meyer Lansky, organized crime We're born princes civilizing process turns us frogs We're move left right same Jerry Brown We'ss Scratch goodies ....we'll blow sillies off Yoko Ono We've bad luck our kids--they've grown Weinberg's : If builders built buildings way programmers wrote programs, woodpecker came along destroy civilization Welch's Words: An honest answer ʔlot trouble Wendell's : No need give race because joggle jog Westfield's Job Seeking: Never sell yourself later buy back skill performance Westheimer's Rule: To estimate takes task, estimate think , multiply 2, change unit measure next highest unit. Thus we allocate days -hour task thrill ȅdie electric chair. It supreme thrill, ۅhaven't tried Albert Fish, cannibal our schools indoctrination against Communism? care law? Ain't power? Cornelius Vanderbilt men value this world rights privileges country needs few labor-making inventions scientists briefcases terrifying this country needs free speech worth listening we need ˔flexible plan everchanging world Whate'er well-conceived clearly said, words flow ease Nicholas Boileau-Despreaux Whatever depend whether or help me nomination George Bush Whatever author puts covers book public property; whatever himself ðput private property, much ÿwritten word Gail Hamilton Whatever fosters militarism makes barbarism; whatever fosters peace makes civilization Whatever nailed mine. Whatever pry nailed Collis P. Huntington, railroad tycoon God invented , wanted look me am dead, my dearest,/Sing sad songs me met Elvis, ÿmillion dollars' worth talent. Today million dollars Colonel Tom Parker money, buy books; any left, buy food clothes word culture, reach my revolver Hermann Goring put Mr. Johnson's Sayings, keep strictly chronology. am glad collect gold dust, degrees much ingot James Boswell write ɔHurry feel worth reading, try Pains , am sure finish.. Richard Brinsley Sheridan leader Democratic Party he's boss; he's Republican Party he's leader comes me advice, find kind advice wants, give subject becomes totally obsolete we ˔required course arguments fail, use blackjack! Edward "Spike" O'Donnell, Al Capone associate nations grow old Arts grow cold/ And Commerce settles ڴtree once itch literature comes over , ئcure ̢scratching ٔpen Samuel Lover considers ,/Happy ̞short span loves animals children too much, loves against human beings someone screams, "Nigger! Nigger!" opulent Black says, "Where?" President , means illegal Richard Nixon cultures collide true suffering begins we read too fast or too slowly, we understand [Oakland], isn't any lose money lose . lose soul lose everything Meyer Lansky pull gun, kill Walter Brennan, My Darling Clementine Whenever discussing birth control, remember fifth Whenever man's failure traced management's mistakes, kept payroll Whenever businessmen gather together plot against public interest Adam Smith Whenever science makes discovery, devil grabs while angels debating best way use Whenever ™efficient government ”dictatorship Where human nature weak bookstore? Where dignity unless honesty? While we sleeping, -thirds world plotting us Dean Rusk White's Chappaquiddick Theorem: sooner detail announce bad news, better Who knows Shakespeare might thought less ÿread ? Who free me this turbulent priest? Who's fat Jap? Spiro T. Agnew Whoever serves country well need ancestors devil —tunes? Winning isn't everything. Vince Lombardi With apple astonish Paris With women, I've long bamboo pole leather loop end . slip loop around necks 째away or come too close. Like catching snakes Marlon Brando Without art, crudeness reality world unbearable Without doubt, most dangerous microbe imaginable Adolf Hitler Words money; useless, unless actual use Samuel Butler Words things last forever William Hazlitt Words small change thought Jules Renard Words , course, most powerful drug used mankind Rudyard Kipling Words weight, sound appearance; ܣconsidering these write sentence ˼look listen Somerset Maugham Work achieved those employees yet reached level incompetence Would please another look my nose put cocaine stuff Adolf Hitler, quoted Dr. Giesing Nuremburg trial testimony, 1947 Writing, properly managed (may sure think mine ), ˢdifferent name conversations Lawrence Sterne Yeah, sure, now beat Sam Giancana, evangelist asked Christian better right Jimmy "Weasel" Fratianno count ڔmurderer fancy prose style Vladimir Nabokov, "Lolita" anything children play much further kind word gun kind word alone Al Capone imagine my embarrassment killed wrong Joe Valachi ideals ٔnation its advertisements anything paying Boss Tweed hold ҳstaying civilization advance, ɴwar kill way cannot law order niggers too dare question my orders? Captain Bligh lament loss hair been beheaded Joseph Stalin need ordering fancy duds. You're prison. ”suit made stripes ? Al Capone's bodyguard walk Stones. carry Keith Richards ”great country here. And great too ”right burn books or destroy books prove 즯harm children growing start asking questions answers federal judges? I'll buy ۶Christmas Joey Gallo spitballs I'll throw Nelson Rockefeller must put worm hook fish bite Jim Jones thought ٗthis born show me how put million dollars ɔsuitcase I'll give million dollars Frank Sinatra find [hatred] strongest most violent where lowest degree culture won't skid stay ɔrut write ease, show breeding, easy writing's vile hard reading Richard Brinsley Sheridan You'll find park or city/monument committee You'll really mean I'll exactly mean You're old-timer remember setting world fire figure speech You've reached ripe old age Louis "Lepke" Buchalter Young gorillas friendly soon learn Your Constitution ˗sail anchor [Anastasio] Somoza may son ٔbitch, he's our son ٔbitch Franklin D. Roosevelt completely mysterious 77777777a"a"a"a"a"a"a"a"ZZZZZZZZԊԊԊԊԊԊԊԊnnnnnnnn [[[[[[[[././././././././ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~????????........V!V!V!V!V!V!V!V! conscious five sets tits?>wound ڌTen Breast Dressed List @翙imaginary friend?>sent State Menstrual Institution indefinite period @bent over tight slacks?>split pants pants split @three chances pregnant?>Blew 'em @banged Eskimo ?>chilled bone @died height making love?>literally came stop @arms tried masturbate?>stumped @guy's sex life accidentally dropped quarter, dimes, nickel wife's pussy?>could feel change @horny tax accountant?>wrote himself off @leper New York City?>Someone stole kneecaps @married dreams?>woke fast @owl went ɶtonsillectomy developed hemorrhoids?>Now çhoot worth shit or shit worth hoot @schoolboy fooled around schoolgirl during wrong period?>caught red-handed @worlds' horniest Җwife made put ڔmetal jockstrap?>went ʔtopless bar killed shrapnel @Brutus went Mount Olive?>Popeye almost killed @Ronald Reagan ran red light?>broke nose ڔwhorehouse door @streaker ran three nuns standing ڔstreet corner?>nun stroke. . . second nun stroke. . . third nun touch @butcher backed meat grinder?>behind orders @boy fell vat gum?>His mother chewed @three guys jumped ɔSan Francisco park?>Two held ųthird ۬hair @happens Ȕswallows aphrodisiac too slowly?>gets still neck @happens go bed space frog?>wake star warts @happens swim too long??>water ear! (Say again.) @happens elephants use sheep tampons?>Toxic Flock Syndrome @happens foxy goes wading ocean?>herrings hard-ons @happens elephant prostitute?>hooker ̶peanuts forget @happens Ex-lax Spanish fly?>hot trot @thousand teeth eats wienies?>zipper @thousand teeth holds back monster?>My zipper @four legs eats ants?>Two uncles @three balls comes outer space?>E.T.-extra testicle @West Coast screwing?>Californicating @˔Japanese girl's favorite holiday?>Erection day @˔metal coffin preferable wooden coffin?>buy wooden coffin, ɔcouple months you'll ass @adolescence?>life stage puberty adultery @experience?>Something enables recognize mistake again @platicophobia?>fear choking death ڔfalsie @big drag fucking cow?>climb stump walk around front want kiss @kind bath toy Joan Crawford give kids?>hairdryer @kind bees give milk?>Boobies @kind Ұsorority ?>likes go places undo things @kind nourishment sustains Martina Navratilova during tennis tournaments?>Box lunches @kind social disease Richard Nixon give Pat?>Crabs oval office @magazine features stories incestual masturbation?>Family Circle Jerk @makes party great?>If everybody comes @movie star banged underage girls forties anybody pregnant?>Sterile Flynn @old television shows sums plots Bo Derek's movies?>"Leave It Beaver." @part Popeye rusts?>part puts Olive Oyl @product Billy Jean King endorsing now?>Snap-Tools @┺wind messing hair?>Shave ass @┺sticky drawers?>Call carpenter @way son dresses?>Stop watching @brush oral sex?>Douche paste @kosher swinger's club?>Stop Smell Rosens @Ȕgives slip?>Try panties @Ȕmoonie drowning?>Throw ƙanchor @șelephant's coming?>Stick finger ass @secret word penis?>Don't let slip @find epileptic bathtub?>Throw laundry cups Tide @date says it's nice ?>Leave @wife triplets?>Go ޚfind those guys @case fallout?>Reinsert shorten stroke @sign madam hang brothel door ۺstill available?>"Last butt leased!" @sound Kermit he's horny?>"Rub-...rub-...rub-." @sound pubic hair џhits ground?>Ph-tooie @sound urologist's watch ?>Dick doc @species deer found near pickle factories?>Dill @sport Linda Ronstadt play high school?>goalie darts team @best way excited?>Think hard @讠porcupine Porshe?>porcupine pricks outside @three -letter words best dampen man's ardor bed?>"Is ?" @Dennis Wilson's last business venture?>Endless Summer Diving School @Miss Lillian's regret life?>hadn't remained virgin @Vic Morrow's final award?>Rotary Club year @Supreme Court judge pushed pregnant girlfriend stairs?>miscarriage justice @consolation Jackie day husband assassinated?>Some brains finally rubbed off @Marx Brothers' ugly sister's name?>Alpo @Pope's miracle?>cured ham @Pope's second miracle?>made lame blind @favorite footwear neurotic shoe fetishist?>Freudian slippers @evidence homosexuality Revolutionary War??>Benny dicked Arnold @most outstanding feature young Annette Funicello?>Her Mousketitis @motto Greeks fought Falkland Islands War?>Save sheep @songes standing ɔcircle !Ȕchurch gay?>Only half congregation kneeling !incredibly bad breath?>talk, duck !overweight?>If step dog's tail dies !brand wine Dolly Parton endorses?>It comes biggest jugs !pope's private plane ɔsnowstorm?>chains propellers !valentine ˷leper?>tongue's envelope !come leper colony could walk war?>defeated !come leper speak?>cat tongue !come leper tie , expensive running shoes?>cost ƙarm leg !Helen Keller burn face?>Bobbing french fries !Helen Keller go bonkers?>Trying read golf ball !Helen Keller's mother torment ?>put doorknobs ڗwalls !Joan Crawford keep kids clean?>bleached !Marvin Gaye die?>heard carbine !Ray Charles' parents punish ?>left plunger toilet bowel !Stevie Wonder meet wife?>On blind date !Stevie Wonder's parents punish ?>put toilet seat stove !JAP Ph.D. six months?>married !seagulls flying over "ship fools"?>looking !Vic Morrow dandruff?>found head shoulders bushes !Germans tie shoes?>In Nazis !we exactly how Elvis Presley died john?>left log !distinguish clans Scotland?>It there's quarter-pounder under kilt, he's MacDonald !Jackson Five ɔVolkswagen?>Two front, back, Michael ashtray !Elton John bisexual?>likes girls well next fellow !єbull sweat?>Give Ɣtight jersey !Richard Nixon's been walking beach?>leaves heel marks !Anita Bryant spell relief?>--D-S !James Watt brush teeth?>With shoehorn !Richard Nixon country's beginning forget Watergate?>some wave these days, use five fingers !leper end poker game?>Throws hand !many JAPs screw ɔlight bulb?>Five: four bitch ̚boyfriend !many White House aides change light bulb?>None, prefer leave Reagan dark !many ߷New Jersey change light bulb?>Three: , watch, third shoot witness !many psychologists change lightbulb?>Only , really want change !many successful jumps need join Skydiver's Association?>All !mentally agile Ronald Reagan?>It takes ƙhour half watch "60 Minutes." !strong wind Chicago?>Well, day stopped, everybody fell !Picasso originally inspired?>By Helen Keller's paint---numbers !Indian describe large pile cow flop?>"Heap big!" !describe cow abortion?>De-calf-inated !cocaine, smell !INSCRIPTION ON AN OLD MAID'S TOMBSTONE/Who said ? !If fit ten babies ɔtest tube using La Machine, straw, how put back together?>Krazy Glue !In month Joanna Carson spend least?>February !Know GAY stands ?>Got AIDS yet !Lady: Officer, corner annoying me./Policeman: saw whole , wasn't even looking ./Lady: Well, isn't annoying? !MOTHER'S DAY/Nine months Father's Day !doctor our town bad treated yellow jaundice five years realized Chinese !Was Jesus transvestite?>hard , ìPeter while hanging , "Peter, darling, please me flats. These spikes killing me." !Nell Carter's vital statistics?>36-24-36--leg same !brand shampoo Michael Jackson use?>Head Smolders !Cathy Smith John Belushi fresh?>Smacked !George Washington men boat?>"Men, boat!" !Helen Keller fell off cliff?>Nothing. mittens !Helen Keller handed cheese grater?>"Most violent book ever read." !Joan Crawford feed daughter tonsilectomy?>Saltines !Joanna Carson heard terrible famine Ethiopia?>upset went ޚspent $10,000 clothes !Parkinson's disease give Howard Cosell gave any else?>fair shake !Robert Wagner Natalie Christopher Walken arrived?>Have few drinks, go overboard !frog frog?>"Time sure fun having flies!" !Chinese marriage license?>"It won't wrong now!" !gay-lib group name themselves?>African Violets !captain leper crew?>All hands deck !epileptic found ÿleprosy?>Went pieces !gay write postcard sent straight roommate while vacationing alone Europe/"Wish queer!" !leper trying lift something heavy leper?>"Give me hand." !talent scout young Dolly Parton?>She's great future front !Pete Rose Mafia don ɨ?>Three thousand hits !lesbians better Calvin Klein jeans?>Billy Jeans !nurses William Schroeder gets cranky?>Step hose until stops !grounds Von Bulow estate?>vegetable's garden !California calm nerves during tremors?>Quake ludes !vampires eat snack crackers?>Scabs !Nancy Reagan's nipple?>Tip iceberg !Japanese arms leg shorter ?>Irene !Russian arms legs?>Red !cow legs?>Ground beef !dog legs?>Nothing. come anyway !faggot ɔwheelchair?>Rolaids !fight Chinese faggots?>tong war !arms legs makes offer refuse?>Don !arms legs who's shit ?>John !arms legs who's been mauled wild animals?>Claude !arms legs who's been struck lightning?>Rod !arms legs who's been stuffed ɔwallet?>Bill !arms legs who's been tossed ʙIrish fireplace?>Pete !arms legs who's covered mustard?>Frank !arms legs who's dealing cocaine?>Rich !arms legs who's holding car?>Jack !arms legs who's thrown boiling water bunch vegetables?>Stu !arms or legs, bottom ocean?>Sandy !midget smokes marijuana?>shrunken head !person psychoceramic?>crackpot !quadraplegic pulled behind skiboat?>Skip !quadraplegic ɔpile leaves?>Russell !quadraplegic ɔpool?>Bob !quadraplegic ڔdoorstep?>Matt !quadraplegic ڔwall?>Art !who's afraid flies?>An old maid !arms legs ڔbun?>Patti !arms legs rolls around ڔwheeled cart?>Dolly !arms legs who's been washed ashore?>Sandi !arms legs, handles?>Carrie !arms legs lampshade head?>Tiffany !arms legs who's been captured cannibals?>Candy !arms legs who's really potted?>Fern !arms leg shorter ?>Eileen !Oriental person Qualudes?>mello-yellow !money pay toilet?>Johnny cash !dance Michael Jackson Pepsi commercial?>Shake'n'bake !canary flies ʔscreen door?>Shredded tweet !Jimmy Carter peanut butter?>President sticks roof White House !elephant JAP?>world's most expensive nose job !eat onions beans?>Tear gas !feed beans ape?>boomerangutang !put LSD cornflakes?>Breakfast surreal !sit ڔstereo?>Steroids !spend pay toilet?>price !Nancy Reagan ll:00 P.M. White House?>Bedtime Bonzo !JAP plastic surgery?>Go doctor's office pick nose !WASP car breaks ?>Fixes !үstanding , sitting , dog leg raised?>Shake hands !boy drank eight cokes?>burped 7-Up !happens Egyptian girls forget Pill?>become Mummies !happens Indian drinks too much tea?>drowns teepee !happens beautiful young knocks Warren Beatty's door?>His staff springs action !30,000 feet still walk?>Jerry's kids !Helen Keller's least favorite television show?>wonderful world color !kind bath oil Kermit buy Miss Piggy?>Hogwash !kind car Renee Richards drive?>convertible !kind wood float?>Natalie Wood !posthumous honor Dorothy Stratten win?>"Sharon Tate Look-alike" award !sees purple launches flying saucers?>tripping waiter !┺give everything?>Encouragement !feel strongly graffiti?>Sign partitiion !street sign outside Home Retarded?>'CURB YOUR MORON." !type racquet float?>Wilson !vegetable מserved this summer Newport, R..?>Sunny Von Bulow !Eddie Murphy signed $5 million movie contract?>tycoon !Jessica Savitch's favorite perfume?>Canal No. 5 !Israeli settlement?>Two cents dollar !John Belushi's last words?>"No Pepsi-Coke." !Princess Grace doing alive today?>Scratching inside coffin !Siamese twins arms legs?>Matched potatoes !Chinese philosopher poison ivy?>It Ching !flashy pianist fell apart last concert?>Leperace !girlfriend shirts ?>An ironing broad !arms or legs ɔvat beer?>Bud !arms?>? answer phone anyway !Indian sells cocaine?>Chief Running Nose !What'll reunite Beatles?>Three bullets !"eloquence"?>Being able describe Dolly Parton using hands !"glass"?>Japanese marijuana !Dennis Wilson now?>beached boy !James Brady's position White House?>Pet secretary !Joanna Carson's favorite position making love?>Facing Tiffany's !Kung Fu Yung?>Egg Fu Yung, except fight waiter order !Reagan's "happy hour"?>His afternoon nap !Roman streetwalker's motto?>"Never let Dago !" !T.V. censor?>bleeping tom !flat-chested stenographer?>topographical error !four-letter word Ronald Nancy Reagan bed?>R-E--D !miniskirt?>bum wrap !practical nurse?>One marries wealthy old patient !smart cookie?>makes money peddling Girl Scouts !white mule?>honky donkey !air pollution?>fogging shame !indication pilot flying plane young?>comes intercom telling ìover summer vacation !yellow full Crispy Critters?>burnt schoolbus !blue sings alone?>Dan Ackroyd !blue sings alone?>Dan Akroyd !brown white, lives forest, ”mother?>Bambi !fuzzy, smokes, comes cubes?>Fidel Castro !green flies over Berlin?>Snotzies !harder 湔pregnant elephant ɔVolkswagen?>Getting elephant pregnant ɔVolkswagen !gross nailing dead baby tree?>Ripping off !important men life?>life men !Michael Jackson Billy Jean King?>Thriller !ԯɔSan Francisco theatre?>Ask someone hold seat !red white lives ɔtest tube?>Bozo Clone !something singer Vic Damone ԯ?>Wear monogrammed shirts !Chinese word watermelon?>Coon-chow !best way really stoned?>Drink wet cement !best way keep friends?>Don't give away !caption ٔpicture Jerry Ford, Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon?>"Hear evil, see evil, evil." !cruelest present Ray Charles ever gave?>His paint--numbers picture !endless love?>Ray Charles Helen Keller playing tennis !mixed emotions?>see mother--law backing off cliff brand Mercedes !perpetual motion?>Stevie Wonder looking number phone book !description Howard Cosell?>Motor-disease mouth !讠duck?>One its legs both same !讠Irish wedding Irish wake?>One less drunken Irishman !easiest question world?>"Give me biggest reasons Dolly Parton's rise stardom." !Eskimo mothers teach children?>Don't eat yellow snow !hardest part ٔvegetable eat?>wheelchair !hardest studying behavior patterns?>Finding someone behaves !hippie ice cream flavor?>Mocha joint! !leper theme song?>"Put Your Head My Shoulders." !most bird suburbia?>extramarital lark !official Puerto Rican mascot?>litterbug !official bumper sticker ٌRifleman's Association?>"Guns Don't Kill People. Bullets Kill People!" !sexiest four-letter word?>Cash !worse biting ʙapple finding worm?>Finding half worm !worse lipstick collar?>Leg makeup ears !Arnold Schwarzenegger realize bit overdeveloped?>heard giving Dolly Parton inferiority complex !James Watt realize he'd forced ޜInterior Secretary?>realized Reagan birds !parents suspect teenager coke habit?>If pet rock ˷Bolivia !Where Jewish cannibal go?>To cafeteria advertised "children half price!" !Where Howard Cosell stay Las Vegas?>Seizure's Palace !Where Stevie Wonder go vacation?>Blind man's bluff !Where vampire soak himself?>In bat tub !Who kids screwed kids whose parents divorced?>kids whose parents stayed together !Who William Schroeder stroke?>Mr. Goodwrench !Who Bette Midler's makeup?>Sherwin-Williams !Who taught Grace Kelley drive?>Ted Kennedy !Who's Boy George?>drag addict !psychiatrist waste ?>find cracked leave broke !swap clubs popular?>dues very few don'ts !aren't Bob Wagner Natalie Wood married anymore?>drifted apart !congressmen keep work?>They're behind page or !go bathroom Beatles' concert?>There's john !Dolly Parton's teeth fall ?>Her dentist reach !Helen Keller ”sheltered childhood?>parents kept dark !Ida Amin kill 5,000 ?>To keep Joneses !Jimmy Carter insist live turkey carried Air Force One?>In case needed spare parts !Johnny Joanna Carson separate?>Joanna starred "-tonight" show !Marvin Gaye die happy?>His last .45 blast !Nancy Reagan redecorate White House style?>wanted everything nineteenth century-furniture, paintings, rugs-husband !Olivia Newton-John marry Matt Lathanzi?>After these years, still loves grease !Reagan speech writers stop using big words speeches?>talking !Robert Wagner think Natalie Wood doing laundry?>saw go tide !Ronald Reagan stop boxing?>left !long cremate John Belushi?>render Ƶ !American lesbian cut short visit South America?>missed native tongue !bald holes pockets?>loved run fingers hair !bargain hunter marry amputee?>25% off !hostess ask Claus Von Bulow come dinner wife?>wasn't serving any vegetables !leper fail driver's test?>left foot gas !leper pitcher retire?>threw arm !legless dog pet "cigarette"?>often he'd ޶drag !monkey fall tree?>It dead !projector blush?>It saw filmstrip !undertaker serve cola funeral?>Coke adds life !Jesus college?>hung boards !Indians wear jock straps?>Totem pole !babies soft spots heads?>So case there's fire hospital, nurses carry five hand !bumblebees wear mazzuzas?>So won't mistaken WASP's !lepers potato chips?>use back another's heads dips !Anita Bryant AIDS miracle disease?>turns fruits vegetables !Christina Onassis wear shoes?>To break habit biting toenails !Debra Winger talk slowly?>she's governor !Dolly Parton buy bras Datsun dealer?>needs 280Z !Howard Cosell clean ears?>His head cave !Jesus eat M&Ms?>keep falling holes hands !Natalie shower boat?>prefers wash shore !alcoholics order cokes Burger King?>shakes !Archbishop O'Connor opposed abortion?>think Catholics any misconceptions !Billy Jean King 㼝tennis?>swings both ways !Dolly Parton luckiest women world?>Her cup runneth over !Elton John bisexual?>It doubles chances ٹdate !Howard Cosell's wife smiling?>buy blender !James Watt ϔfish?>wouldn't gotten trouble he'd kept mouth shut !Madonna ϔpopular breakfast treat?>They're both pop tarts !Margaret Heckler's husband suing divorce?>denied human services !Ronald Reagan hard-headed?>His skull protects weakest part body !San Francisco granola?>once past fruits nuts, left flakes !˔mouse spins?>bones cream !̔shame Baby Fae died?>Խplace family tree !unlikely Teddy Kennedy, Jr. ever President?>Everybody else leg !life worth living?>There's else !Linda Ronstadt try classical music next?>we'd see Bach side !ߞcareful cocaine?>sneeze !Baby Fae mad parents?>sold story newspapers peanuts !Loni Anderson happy "WKRP Cincinnati"?>For , found could listen AM radio afternoon !̔mistake elect Reagan's age?>He's making country baroque !legless runout town?>visible means support !leper kicked off relay team?>lost last leg !street cleaner fired?>keep mind gutter !-ޥleper hockey game?>face-off corner !Helen Keller's hands purple?>heard grapevine !Calvin Klein's kids follow footsteps?>designer genes @"Daddy, those dogs doing?>"Uhh... one's sick one's pushing hospital @"Dear," murmured Gayle, "remind me Don Juan, great lover!"./"Really?" replied Rick. "?"/"For ," said Gayle, "he's been dead years!" @"Do virgins eat breakfast?" asked Hector ɔseductive tone.>/"No," replied Pearl coyly. 'What?"/"Hmmm," said Hector, "͜thought." @"Hanging pictures," sighed clumsy Miss Young,/"Is task me unstrung./Thank God my neighbor/Who volunteered labor--/Both my pictures Ûwell hung!" @"Hello, this Salvation Army?"/"Yes, ."/"Do save bad girls?"/"Yes, we ."/"saving me ۶Saturday night?" @"Hey Paul, found my secretary, Miss Sandelli, ambidextrous."/"mean?"/"takes dictation both knees." @"Hey, Enzo, how'd sister Angie eye?"/"jumping rope forgot put bra!" @"Hey, Felix, why smirk face"/"Paul, last night my wife finally achieved sexual capatibility. We both headache." @"Hey, Sal, how'd sister Rina driver's license test?"/"flunked. car stalled, force habit, jumped back seat." @"̅find making love cook?" asked wife./"," said, "unless it's because wearing sneakers." @"How's sex life, Irene?"/"married my husband, night Eiffel Tower. Now it's Leaning Tower Pisa once month." @"news bad news our son," said Mrs. Smuckler husband.>/"Give me bad news !" said Mr. Smuckler.>/"Our boy's become homosexual!"/"And what's news?"/"He's rich doctor!" @"haven't been feelin' meself lately!"/"Tis --nasty habit !" @"I'd twenty-five yards nylon nightgown," told clerk./"won't need much material nightgown."/". But my husband fun looking finding ." @"If I'm bed ten o'clock," said female barfly , "I'm home!" @"Is Dr. Moore egotistical?"/"I'll . He's conceited takes woman's pulse, subtracts ten beats personality." @"Is son businessman?" asked Jaffe.>/"My boy dedicated work," said Isaac, "keeps secretary near bed case ⸙idea during night!" @"Mama, go heaven feet ?"/"No, why ask?"/"Well, maid laying bed feet , hollering, 'Oh, God, I'm coming!' And , too, Daddy hadn't held ų." @"No," cried Clarabelle. "Ah'm kind ٺ. Besides, grass wet, Mama said shouldn't, bits ain't enough." @"me spinster aunt died quite happily."/"Yes. Somebody told marriages made heaven." @"Three nights week boys--, wife ™argument last night!"/"come ?"/"agreed she'd cut ̳." @"kind bird brings babies?"/"Storks."/"And kind bird bring babies?"/'Swallows." @"7--8--9--10?"/"next singles bar ten p.m. . . eleven p.m. . . twelve midnight. . . ۔.m." @"-doin' -?" Sal's mother wanted ./"I'm here fingering my guitar," said Sal./"Well, better wash-hands come-supper." @"Whatever nice Naval gunnery officer used go around ?" asked./"Oh, we broke ," signed. "Lieutenant Gridley fired ready." @bosomless gal, really flat chested, sitting bar walked . "Honey," said, "I'm gonna joke that'll knock tits off. Oh, see you've heard !" @delightful sunbather Kester,/Clad ͜nature dressed ,/Strolled boldly town,/To skin brown./Cops fought turn arrest @dentist, young Doctor Malone,/Got charming patient alone;/And depravity,/filled wrong cavity--/And my how practice grown @famous Abbey Theatre thespian lying psychiatrist's couch. doctor asked, "Do talk wife during intercourse?"/"Only there's phone handy," replied matinee idol @fellow park doing push-ups. drunk staggered ƚsaid, "matta, fella, lose ?" @came east farm/Exclaimed, "City life its charm./Take pleasures orgasm:/Every New York 'em,/But Kansas they're viewed alarm @boy peeping keyhole sister's wedding night. "?" muttered./"And scold me sucking my thumb!" @died, came , ÿkeg beer next ƚbeautiful lap. Hell?>hole bottom keg none bottom @drink's been invented-part vodka part prune juice, it's pile driver @notorious hooker named Hurst/In pleasure men well versed./Reads sign o'er head/Of well-rumpled bed,/"Customer Always Comes First." @stork brings average size babies. brought Orson Wells?>crane @Abigail Grace buying bananas. ten cents each, or three quarter. "Oh, well," said Abigail, "we eat extra !" @Analog engineers discretely @As girls walked school, turned ݚsaid,/"found contraceptive patio last night."/ݺasked, "patio?" @Ask leper inch he'll give foot @At wedding breakfast, groom found wife put plate head lettuce./"this?" asked./"wanted see eat ϔrabbit too!" @Athena Tammy home bus./"If type, dictation, file, or keep books, why boss pay such huge salary?" asked Athena./"conceive!" replied Tammy @Atkins walked ʔdrugstore asked clerk, "Do handle vaginal suppositories?"/"Yes, we ."/"Then wash hands give me ice cream cone." @BRONX VIRGIN/Any ™illegitimate child @Babette flounced house ɔhurry reached sidewalk, mother , "Have dance tonight, dear, !"/"Mother, mind!" @Bankers interest substantial penalty early withdrawal @Berzlicki Waluk shared room ڔcollege campus. One day Berzlicki came ɚsaid roommate, "there's case gonorrhea dorm."/"Good!" said Waluk. "awfully tired Fresca!" @Bumper sticker: Support E.R..-sleep wet spot @COPULATE/police chief says officer work @Can catch VD ڔtoilet seat?>Yes, it's very uncomfortable, especially person bottom @Charlie telling girlfriend Brigham Young twenty-seven wives./", ought hung!" replied./"," answered Charlie. "!" @Comedian Jeremy Krispian says, "Two great things come Italy last twenty years Sophia Loren both ." @Coming home quarter three,/caught my wife cheating me./raged, "Who's this fink?"/cried, ϔwink,/"--it's me!" @Confucius : Woman fly airplane upside crack @Corbett: (wife): Darlin', we haven't made love such long , tonight I'm goin' ta screw bejabbers outa ya./Wife: Over my dead body!/Corbett: An' why tonight any different any night? @Daniel Boone girlfriend Cumberland. biggest gap east Mississippi @Define "frenzy">Five hundred blind lesbians locked ɔtuna factory @Define "virgin">An ugly third grader @Definition henpecked--sterile husband afraid pregnant wife @Bo John Derek єfamily film?> subject how start @Clint Eastwood vasectomy?>Now he's firing blanks @Joan Collins pilot half-hour sitcom?>"Love Loosely." @Joan Collins, Victoria Principal, Linda Evans signed movie?>Ball Busters @Liz Taylor wanted buy car bucket seats?>But find big enough buckets @Renee Richards' mother writing book?>My Son, Daughter @ĕLiz Taylor's soap opera?>"All My Chins." @ĕRonald Reagan's Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet?>It serves right wings assholes @ĕPurdue student majoring animal husbandry?>caught Ɲ @ĕTexan big died, wasn't coffin large enough hold ?>gave ƙenema buried ɔshoebox @ĕVenetian hooker liked American soldiers Italy, trouble taking care ٗ?/put wig fanny opened second front @ĕactress made Hollywood hard way?>talent @ĕairline stewardess turned prostitution?/greeted customers "Welcome aboard!" @ĕalligators Florida sporting Jews T-shirts? @ĕbeautiful Egyptian princess laid ɔtomb became mummy? @ĕeight-year-old streaked flower show?>won prize dried arrangement @ĕflasher decided retire?>Yeah, changed mind decided stick another year @ĕgay Catholic?>decide whether Pope fabulous or simply devine @ĕgay Pope?>decide divine, or gorgeous @ĕgay flew London?>heartbroken found Big Ben clock @ĕgay mumps?>told lover expecting @ĕgay tattoo artist?>kicked off base having designs several sailors @ĕlatest over--counter scare?>Someone slipped Krazy Glue Preparation H @ĕleper robbed house?>doing fine until dog started barking, then went pieces @ĕflying trapeze caught wife act? @ĕate son?>wife pregnant @ĕspell?>spent night ɔwarehouse @ĕGerman microwave oven?>It seats 25 @ĕVanessa Williams scandal?>found nude pictures parents National Geographic @ĕcereal Queerios?>add milk, eat each @ĕdesigner condom?>Sergio Preventes @ĕdouche powder made alum, LSD Kentucky Fried Chicken batter?>uptight, outasight, finger-lickin' @ĕover--counter medication SEX-LAX?>trouble coming instead ٻ @ĕsalve crabs that's made day-glo green?>It rid crabs, makes easier track dark @ĕnympho hotel pool?>barred area lifeguard saw go third @ĕold maid waited long ship come pier collapsed? @ĕpunk Santa Claus?>After delivers presents, throws Christmas tree @ĕqueer Indian?>jumped ʔcanoe, took three strokes, shot across lake @ĕqueer nail?>It laid road blew tire @ĕstripper fired?>hasn't been obscene since @ĕtransvestite sailor?>went sea slips @ĕunfortunate voyeur?>arrested peek career @ĕyoung moved Greenwich Village?>turned prematurely gay @Carol Channing endorsing beauty product?>lipstick apply roller @George Burns Bob Hope starting special airline old ?>Incontinental @Grace Kelley Patricia Neal making movie together?>Different Strokes @Joan Collins making movie Bill Murray?>Caddy Shack-Up @Joan Rivers sarcastic even cunt talks back?>calls answering cervix @Mr. T sex organs feet?>If steps , screwed @Mr. T doing special Richard Nixon?>"-Hole Team." @Natalie Wood Linda Lovelace planning film together?>Deep Float @Pia Zadora's baby born its senses?>No taste @President Nixon once hired sculptor add likeness Mount Rushmore?>But sculptor told wasn't room faces @Richard Pryor saved years buy mother house?>But finally house, vice squad wouldn't let run @Roman Polanski making movie?>, Close Encounters Third Grade @Roman Polanski dating teenager?>body ٙeight-year-old @star Pretty Baby endorsed brand contraceptives?>They're "Brooke's Shields." @they're making movie Jessica Savitch?>Little Girl Who Drowns Down Lane @they've developed sitcom Suzanne Somers?>"One's Company Enough." @fly toilet seat?>pissed off @ĕIrish gays?>Patrick Fitzhenry Henry Fitzpatrick @Bo Derek dresses ϔlady?>Lady Godiva @thirty percent gays America born way?> seventy percent sucked @Divers deeper @Do Ronald Nancy Reagan any problems bed?>Not long use Rustoleum instead Vaseline @Do men women deep?>It depends which end we're talking @Do most men prefer panty hose or bare legs?>Something ɠ @Do 讠toilet paper shower curtain?>No? - shit over bathtub @Do brand contraceptive label-fashion-conscious wearing?>Brooke Shields @Do makes Ҕgentlemen Greece?>He's takes ޝleast five times propositions younger brother @Do miracle AIDS ?>It turns fruits vegetables @Do potato chip said battery?>If Eveready, I'm Frito Lay @Do gay bar any bar stools?>fruit stand @Do gays skateboards?>Roll Aids @Do why British ships came back Falkland Islands full sheep?>War brides @Do why keep having turn Karen Ann Quinlan?>Moss keeps growing north side @Does Billy Jean King cook?>No, prefers eating @Does Sally Ride play badminton?>No, favorite toy shuttlecock @Druggist: These rubbers guaranteed./Customer: But break?/Druggist: Well, then, er, guarantee runs @Everett approached sales manager's typist. "Honey, 讠chicken leg man's male muscle?"/"No."/"come ڔpicnic me!" @FORMAL ITALIAN DINNER/men come table flies zipped @Fidel Castro believes he's finally made Cuba perfect country./He's capital Moscow, soldiers Africa, criminals U.S @First Jew: "Do pussy cats?"/Second Jew: "Yes, Pussy Cohen okay too!" @Grafitti: "I'm l0" long 3" wide. Interested?"/ "Fascinated. big dick?" @HOMOSEXUAL/man's @HUNGARIAN/Well-equipped Gary, Indiana @HYSTERECTOMY/An operation removes baby carriage leaves playpen ɼcondition @Has Princess Caroline slept around since mother died?>She's made second Count @Have heard instrument credit created especially bawdy houses?>BangAmericard @Have heard GAY really stands ?>Got Aids Yet? @Have seen Dolly Parton's shoes?>Neither @begged pleaded ,/But said, "We've already done four!/And I'm sure you've heard,/Even though it's absurd,/That Eros spelled backwards sore." @making mad love met suddenly cried, 'Quick, kiss me! Kiss me!"/"Kiss ?" said.. "shouldn't even doing this!" @: dream last night./: ?/: No, wouldn't let me @Hettie Smith, aged seventy, died spinster. left following instructions : "want anybody put word Miss my tombstone. haven't missed much some think." @Sentimental Mary Tyler Moore?>calls husband's pubic hair "dick Van Dyke." @ĕqueer burglar?>blow safe, went elevator @angry apartment neighbors houseflies?>bang wall @old men bumper stickers?>They're hard off @bathrooms marked Dog Show?>Pointers Setters @bad John DeLorean's credit?>bank asks ƶID makes deposit @big ego Burt Reynolds ?>In bed screams own name comes @Ryan O'Neal Farrah Fawcett having orgasm?>care @baseball coach star player ɔsevere slump?>reaches scratch himself misses @ÿgreat date?>wakes morning face feels glazed doughnut @real Ǻfriend's having orgasm?>Real men care @keep being bitten tsetse fly?>Keep tsetse covered times @pick Pia Zadora's baby nursery?>She's see-diapers @really some kicks?>Lace ass rent NFL @Joan Collins' husband?>He's leg makeup ears @Roxanne Pulitzer bisexual?>shaves leg @neighborhood serious drug problem?>Elementary school children snorting cocaine flavor candy straws @Ȕbear gay?>lays paw table @Ȕgay ˻ڔdiet?>throat fitted diaphragm @Ȕcorkscrew pussy?>Heads turn @ȔͿsex elephant?>sits ڔbarstool sinks floor @Ȕgrew sisters?>One eyes shaped ϔkeyhole @Ȕwitch horny?>Her broomstick takes 16 "d" size batteries @lesbian bar really tough?>pool tables even balls @Irish hospital ward?>He's blowing foam off bedpan @nearsighted ҝnudist colony?>It isn't hard @could fag patriotic?>wore red, white, blew @Tale Two Titties begin?>"It bust . . ." @Captain Hook die?>wiped wrong hand @Captain Hook meet death?>Jock itch @Dolly Parton start?>In jug band @Dolly Parton's husband broken jaw?>bust mouth @Dorothy Stratten being Playmate Year?>It turned blast @Gene Barry lead role terrific gay musical, La Cage Aux Folles?>obviously wrong place right @Helen Keller discover masturbation?>Trying read own lips @Liz Taylor lose ten pounds day?>washed off makeup @Ma Pa Kent Clark wet bed?>rust trousers @Pete Rose ruptured?>caught line drive fly @Peter Lawford benefit William Holden's death?>covered floors foam carpeting @Prince Valiant moonlight?>Selling iron chastity belts fifty dollars crack @Princess Stephanie mourn mother?>For year wore tennis clothes @Richard Burton spend breakup Liz?>Making Hay @Richard Gere part American Gigolo?>Skillful staff work @Roman Polanski's girlfriend die?>Crib death @Ronald McDonald herpes?>Sticking Big Mac Wendy's hot juicy @Truman Capote feel õdiscovered homosexual?>It quite blow @herpes leave hospital?>On crotches @JAP parents anxious married?>gave towels said, "Hers" "Watch this space" @dachshund meet end?>Running around tree @leper castrate himself?>Jerking off @owner show dog blacksmith?>held lit match under dog's balls, dog made bolt door @pretty young break show business?>Obviously, right face right @psychiatrist diagnose patient complained day feeling ϔteepee, next day feeling ϔwigwam?>Too tense @pygmy boxer win fights?>He'd fill mouth ice cold-cock opponents @sadistic nurse punish patient?>dipped rectal thermometer Ben-Gay @teenage boy cracked vertebra?>kissing girlfriend goodnight back porch father walked ޚstepped back @Eskimos children?>rub noses, buggers fall @gays rationalize preference?>"pussy ڔstick!" @advertise aspirin masochists?>"Slow, slow relief!" @we Billy Jean popular tennis circuit?>women eat ˳ @we Burt Reynolds shy?>won't come ޷under rug @we Liza Minelli sentimental?>keeps drugs same box mother @we girls aren't made sugar spice?>taste anchovies @we necrophiliacs lousy lovers?>Their partners come too @find foxhole?>Lift its tail @find gives best blowjobs?>Word mouth @date mermaid?>Drop Ŕline @fag off back?>Beat off @tissue dance?>Blow boogie @James Brady's having lunch White House?>Nancy puts bibs @Johnny Carson's father figure?>Women keep asking ƶmoney @really wrecked qualudes?>Somebody tells go fuck yourself sounds ϔidea? @girlfriend emitted incredible fart?>, even though kitchen popping popcorn she's upstairs bathtub @єhormone?>Don't pay @love toothpaste style?>squirts tube onto brush @paper dolls?>Screw old bag @prepare kidney beans?>Cook piss @recycle used tampon?>As tea bag vampires @"69" Chinese?>Two chew @separate men boys ɔgay bar?>With crow bar @spot levelheaded Kentuckian?>He's tobacco juice running both sides mouth @someone eat shit Chinese?>"Moo goo bed pan!" @blind ɔnudist colony?>hard @Anita Bryant spell relief?>--D-S @Clint Eastwood women?>Dirty, hairy @Dudley Moore sleep those tall women?>Someone puts @George Burns' girlfriend find dark?>hard @Joan Collins hold liquor?>By ears @Martina Navratilova pick another tennis player?>compliments ڔnice set @Greenwich Village fiddler єliving?>works restaurants, table table giving bow jobs @horny, ugly describe sex life?>Fist or famine @shithead solve problem?>puts thinking crap @union fairy tale begin?>"Once upon half. . ." @adult fairy tale begin?>"Once upon . . ." @everybody you've let loose really powerful fart line supermarket?>lady behind checking eggs again @VD supper farm?>come @˔barbed wire fence ϔbikini?>It protects property, obstruct view @˔hooker Johnny Carson?>both money tube @˔man's pecker ϔdoor?>he's pushing , he's pulling @˔pecker ϔwoman's panties?>couple ټyanks off @˔promiscuous ϔdoorknob?>Everybody gets turn @˔ϔtoilet seat?>Without hole middle, wouldn't shit @˙erection theory relativity?>think , harder gets @being married being constipated?>"To šhold!" @heckling comedy show lot farting ɔmuseum?>fun guilty party, kind wrecks ̶everybody else @hemorrhoids Texas hats similar?>Sooner or later, asshole gets @recent crab research progressing?>They're starting scratch surface @long anecdotes well-hung congressmen?>Usually fill page @many medfly's screw ɔlightbulb?>Two, provided isn't sterilized @many mice screw ɔlightbulb?>Two, ask me how @many psychiatrists change light bulb?>None. willing change yourself @tall Princess Anne?>About hands @symbol infinity inspired?>By fat hooker sitting naked ڔmirror @Moses' parents doubly blessed?>ܿfun bed, made prophet @Dirty Johnny use words avenue, sister, butter, panther piston same sentence?>"avenue sister, butter panther already piston!" @Husband: Honey, my suit fourteen-inch zipper./Wife: So ? next door opens big garage doors comes son's tricycle @draw line kissing,/said accents fine./But football hero/And course crossed line @met willin'/Now I'm takin' penicillin @If boxer wears boxer shorts, jockey wears jockey shorts, wear any shorts?>swinger @If dog happy, he'll wag tail. goose ?>Make growl @If dried grape ˔raisin, dried plum ˔prune, ˔dried cherry?>nun @If elephant's front legs 60 MPH, its back legs doing?>Hauling ass, baby, hauling ass @If horse racing Sport Kings, Sport Queens?>Drag racing @If storks bring white babies, crows bring babies, kind birds bring any babies?>No, swallows! Woodpeckers @If met Chicago told gave best head town, pay ?>visit @In Brooklyn, 讠pickpocket Peeping Tom?>pickpocket snatches watches @In Greece, how separate men boys?>With crowbar @Is ̔sin sex communion?>Only block aisle @Is sex better pot?>It depends pusher @It three o'clock morning. angry father yelled daughter living room, "Evelyn, boy yet?"/"Not quite," whispered hoarsely, "he's !" @Jeanne: Tomorrow our fiftieth wedding anniversary./shall we ?/John: Let's celibate @Know where find sympathy?>In dictionary, somewhere "shit" "syphilis." @LOVER'S LAMENT/frustration second compared second @MINUTE MAN/double-parks front ٔhouse ill repute @MISCARRIAGE/Love's labor lost @Male nurses generally known efficiency. Nurse Nicholas best. єpatient disturbing bed @Martha Prudence sitting hotel lounge. "If another drink," said Martha, "I'll begin feel !"/"If another drink," said Prudence, "won't care feels !" @Mommy, Mommy...cold, damp, dark. Shut or I'll flush again @Mommy, Mommy...scabs face?>Shut eat cornflakes @Mommy, Mommy...what's transvestite?>Go ask father, knows @Mommy, Mommy...why daddy wobbling field?>Shut reload @Mommy, mommy...my brother. Shut eat put front @Mommy, mommy...want go Europe. Shut keep swimming @Mommy, mommy...want see Dad. Shut keep digging @Moses Mount Sinai suddenly becomes very upset. With face upturned heavens says disbelief, "Now let me this straight: We're chosen ߚwant us cut off tips our whats?>" @Mrs. McGiklin confessed priest committed adultery. 'Was against ?" asked confessor./"No," said Mrs. McGiklin. "It against cupboard, heavens heard china rattle!" @NYMPHOMANIAC/tail wants spread ̗over town @Natalie: My, long, slim, expressive hands ! belong ڔ./Nick: win, honey @OLD MAID/One given hope giving @Oh sole mio,/I've VD, oh./And pee, oh!/Oh! Mama Mio @Old Lech: may winter my hair, there's summer my heart./Young Fem: Yes, any spring ass? @PORNO WESTERN/movie which guys hung @PRAYER OF THE DESTITUTE PROSTITUTE/Now lay me too cheap @Poor Shirley--dishes douches she's hot water @Queen Isabella gave three ships Columbus./stoutest mast ever seen @Rosaleen, Irish maid, been entertaining sailor boyfriend. Mrs. Levin, employer, wanting polite, asked, "And how long furlough?"/"Not long Mr. Levin's," said Rosaleen, blushing. "But it's thicker!" @SATURDAY NIGHT IN COLLEGE TOWN/That's night girls sow wild oats. Then Sunday morning hope crop failure @SPINSTER/An unlusted number @STORK/bird frequently account misdemeanors really blamed ڔlark @SUSPICION/awaken wife come home --town trip sex techniques @Said Tom's teacher, "act ϔfool/To sit manhandling tool./As my favorite student/Would think imprudent/To substitute me school?" @Seen bumpersticker?>Herpes, love bug @: Aren't stars pretty tonight?/: Can't . I'm position @: Do think me whenever away, darling?/: Yes, honey, bare mind @: dare kiss me ?/: Sorry, ͔slip tongue @Shoe Salesman: Can interest ɔcasual pump?/Miss Passoni: Sure! look shoes later @Sister Marguerite confessed having been kissed priest./"Once ˗right," said confessor, "let Ƹʔhabit." @Spinetti Fazio having glass vino. "Ever see ice cube hole ?" asked Spinetti./"Yeah," replied Fazio, "married ۶twenty years!" @Statisticians probably @Sydney came home unexpectedly found wife arms baker./"I'm ashamed !" shrieked Sydney. "making love baker it's butcher we owe money !" @THREE STAGES OF MAN'S LIFE/1. Tri-weekly/2. Try weekly/3. Try weakly @Salkvinis married years. One night while making love, asked, "Dear, am hurting ?"/"No," replied, "why ask?"/"moved," replied @answer eye strain. question?>"afford laxative?" @answer measuring cups. question?>"辝beauty contest doing ruler?" @answer: Cock Robin.>question: Batman, putting my mouth @couple hugging kissing lights off./"thinking ?" asked./"same !" replied hotly./"Then I'll race refrigerator," shouted @groom knocked wife's door midnight./"bet knocking ," said bride./"But I'm knocking ?" @newlyweds wanted fly United stewardess objected @notch ڔnympho named Jane/Near drove fair female insane:/"I'd itch, itch, itch/Till some sonuvabitch/Came greased cane." @sultan nine wives. Eight pretty soft @typists Meedsley Beasly/All fornicate steadily easily./In this pleasant way/add pay,/Which Meedsley Beasly measly @Then farmer's daughter sent home county fair because keep calves together @Then spoke lady Kew/And said, bishop withdrew,/"vicar quicker/And thicker slicker,/And longer stronger ." @once prime,/Who lived three wives ./asked, "third?"/replied, "One's absurd,/And bigamy, sir, ˔crime!" @once monk Siberia/Whose manner rather inferior./nun/shouldn't done/And now she's Mother Superior @young bishop Brest/Who openly practiced incest./"My sisters nieces/Are dandy pieces,/And cost cent," confessed @young lady Wheeling/Who professed lack sexual feeling,/Till cynic named Boris/Simply touched clitoris/And scraped off ceiling @young rector Kings/Whose mind heavenly things,/But heart fire/For boy choir/Whose butt jelly springs @Though winter's cold causin' season/sneeze wheeze beyond reason,/There's this said:/Frigid females bed/Let squeeze 'em cease 'em freezin' @Was Bill Holden really alcoholic?>No, ͽbad rap @Was Truman Capote born gay?>No, sucked @Weinberg came home unexpectedly found Mrs. Weinberg bed another . "hell doing?" shouted irate husband./"See?" said wife beside . "Didn't stupid?" @T.V. comedian wears skivvies too tight?>Dickie Smothers @head waiters?>guys line gang bang @nymphomaniacs?>People. People need pee poles @things urologist could girlfriend's specimen?>"Herpes, right," or "Her pee's right!" @blue creamy?>Smurf cum @Lifesavers ҧ?>Come five different flavors @cartoon character weird eyes blows Daddy Warbuckes?>Little Oral Annie @Adam Eve Garden Eden?/"You'd better step back, how long this ." @Adam Eve asked,"Do love me?">"Who else?" @Baby Fae die ?>Embarrassment. Her parents tried єmonkey @Benny Hill answer Queen asked wanted some tea private chamber?>"cup fine, mum!" @Billy Jean King partner?>"Let me Frank." @Billy Jean King secretary made mistake?>Gave Ŕtongue lashing @Burt Reynolds broke Dinah Shore?>Had Fields day @Carl Lewis four Olympic medals?>bronzed @Dirty Johnny's father answer Johnny asked wife swap meant?>"Go next door ask mother!" @George Gracie act clap?>Burns Itches @Grace Kelley Natalie Wood could used?>stroke @June Cleaver reached menopause?>"Ward, I'm worried Beaver." @King Kong Zsa Zsa Gabor?>"Is ?" @Liz Taylor Frank Sinatra Christmas?>Kitty Kelley doll hundred pins @Liz Taylor's friends ŶChristmas?>video cassette "Eight Is Enough." @Mark Phillips Princess Anne's birthday?>took Gucci's fitted saddle @Meshulam Riklis ǵfifty-cent piece?>married , then put movies @Minnie Mouse sing caught Mickey Daisy Duck?>'M--C. . . K-E-Y. . . O-U S-O-B!" @Miss Piggy someone barged room?>"talk. I've frog my throat." @Mr. Spock find toilet?>Captain's log @Roxanne Pulitzer discovered bisexual?>invited best friend help lick problem @Roy Rogers fucked Trigger?>Horseshoe crabs @Godfather caught bed wife?>Pulled ޔgun made Ɣoff'er érefuse @Wendy opened Ronald McDonald's zipper?>"Where's beef?" @Yoko heard John been shot?>Oh @social-climbing women Europe Grace Kelley died?>Came Monaco mount Ranier @congressman ?>page ?> @96-year-old doctor told marrying 21-year-old fiancee could prove fatal?>"If dies, dies" @New Yorker returned Los Angeles VD?>"It wasn't worth drip!" @Polack heard show T.V. venereal disease?>Tried catch @芺gynecologist told acute vaginitis?>"Thankyou!" @boss employees said he'd day off attend mother--law's funeral?>"Who wouldn't?" @bull nearsighted milkmaid?>"Mo !" @cat ate canary?>"That put feather my crap!" @commuter gang gay midgets crowded train?>sat felt queer @doctors transferred Muhammad Ali room ?>"Pass squash." @dumb wife found husband gay lover?>"ýhaven't ?" @family rename cat Ben gave birth ten kittens?>Ben Hur @fisherman magician?>"Take cod, any cod!" @gay paramedic give lover?>First AIDS @genie ugly ?>"Ptttooie! Now, second wish?" @boyfriend very fond anal sex?>"With friends , needs enemas?" @辯realized wife panties backwards?>chewed ass @horny way downtown see boyfriend caught traffic?>Found alternate root @hostess previous night's guests asked ῔golden toilet?>That culprit shit husband's tuba @jet set Truman Capote's death?>Answered Prayers @lady game warden fisherman?>"hope haven't under five inches!" @leper fancy restaurant?>"Could another finger bowl?>Mine full!" @leper prostitute?>"Keep tip!" @losing high school football team coach told pull themselves together?>Marched shower circle jerk @үdiscovered Ǻfriend forgotten birth control pills?>gave Ŕtongue lashing @nearsighted sing urinal?>"Oh, Miss Tonight!" @nun priest teaching how swim?>"Father, really sink fingers ?" @nymphomaniac basketball team bus broke front house?>put 'em @octopus octopussy?>"It takes tangle!" @patriot excuse éexcited because wife period?>"Better dead red!" @priest walked hotel room found naked women??>"Out! Out! One !" @professor college having trouble Sex Ed.?>Kept Ŗclass pounded head @reporter interviewed hundred virgins?>"Today, life ͔poll cherries!" @small town headlines read ran away home father's trousers?>"Flees Papa's Pants!" @termite walked bar?>"Is bar tender here?" @waiter customer announced lady drinking Budweiser??>"Anheuser Busch?" @wife husband kept climbing back?>"Stop hounding me!" @mutter crawled desert douche bag?>"Vinegar water. . . need vinegar water. . ." @Sex Ed. fifties?>Recess @Charles Lindbergh orgasm while landing Paris?>Spurt St. Louis @congressional page scandal?>Tailgate @episode where Incredible Hulk punched balls?>Green Achers @sing Walt Disney's funeral?>"Freeze Jolly Good Fellow" @Arabs ڔSaturday night?>Sit under palm trees eat dates @Mother Teresa 7-Up ɨ?>"Never , ." @Mr. T 1-inch cock ɨ?>No wants fuck either @coffin condom ɨ?>They're both filled stiffs - one's coming other's @male prostitute Pink Panther ɨ?>They're both peter sellers @virgin hemophiliac ɨ?>One prick it's over @walrus Tupperware ɨ?>both ϔtight seal @animal lovers ɨ?>Their habits illegal @biker chicks tattooed top heads?>"Let go my ears! I'm doing!" @butter hooker ɨ?>both spread bread @cannibals ѷpoliticians?>Baloney sandwiches @elephants use condoms?>Goodyear blimps @fags drink?>Kool-AIDS @fat girls mopeds ɨ?>They're both fun ride until friend sees @fat women summer?>Stick @gay termites eat?>Woody Woodpeckers @girls stay virgins long Greece?>run faster then brothers @lesbians need open gay bar?>licker license @lesbians study college?>Cliterature @promiscuous angels ?>Harpies @soybeans dildoes ɨ?>They're both meat substitutes @Long Island Railroad Jimmy Carter ɨ?>both pull Roslyn approximately 5:30 .m @Moral Majority gay community ɨ?>both suck @Rocketts circus ɨ?>circus ˔cunning array stunts @bring want order foot ɔlesbian bar?>womenu @줙Oriental blowjob?>Gobbledegook @coin-operated robot hookers Las Vegas?>Slut-machines @lover's lane New Jersey?>balling alley @"Joan Collins look"?>Cock-eyed @ѷfrozen holy water?>Popesicles @toilet paper starship Enterprise ɨ?>both circle Uranus looking Klingons @we Εfellow said, "Time heals wounds?"/wasn't aware herpes or pussy @women ovens ɨ?>both hot stick meat @leper herpes?>Redundant @O.J. Simpson's jock?>An -American ball carrier @child raised ɔhouse ill repute?>brothel sprout @couple gay lawyers?>Legal AIDS @fag diarrhea?>juicy fruit @female sex-change operation?>Addadicktomy @gay dentist?>tooth fairy @gay midget?>Sweet low @been run over car?>Patty @teaches fellatio?>headmaster @hamburger joint frequented gays?>Burger Queen @happy Roman?>Glad ate @hooker legs?>nightcrawler @leper herpes also AIDS?>Trendy @green ball each hand?>Someone perfect control Jolly Green Giant @numbers parlor Harlem?>blood bank @prostitute runny nose?>Full @rehabilitation home ex-prostitutes?>An --way house @traffic jam Harlem?>blood clot @truck full vibrators?>Toys twats @Indian herpes?>Chief Running Sore @adolescent rabbit?>pubic hare @erection smoking opium?>Poppy cock @experimental monkey ɔCuisinart?>Rhesus Pieces @congressional aides gold showers?>yellow pages @herpes above below waist?>Herpes duplex @Burt Reynolds screws fans?>Cannon-balling @fag gets ass donkey?>An enemule @fag sticks Barbie ass?>doll- @fag sticks TV dinner ass?>An enemeal @Pope takes shit?>religious movement @three college guys stoned ɔdormitory room imagine dates?>mirage a' trois @fat waterbed ”whale ٔ?>Harpoontang @sex person brings car?>Valet porking @obscene writing wall?>Pornograffiti @emergency money jogger keeps athletic supporter?>trussed fund @space Mariel Hemingways's tits?>Silicon Valley @sweat Dolly Parton's tits?>Mountain Dew @makes beds ɔ-motel?>Minute Maid @homosexuals named Bob?>Oral Roberts @come across elephant?>Wipe off @Kotex catches fire?>Throw floor tampon @listen too many obscene phone calls?>Hearing AIDS @-bomb explodes kitchen?>Linoleum blownapart @epileptic falls lettuce patch?>Seizure salad @Bo Derek computer?>cash machine glands @Mother Teresa football player?>tight end @Mother Teresa Indian prostitute?>hole Calcutta @Pete Rose prostitute?>Charley Hustler @Prince Boy George?>Princess @cat rabbit?>Pussy hares @cat turtle?>snappin' pussy @deer pickle?>dildo @donkey onion?>piece ass brings tears eyes @lady marijuana dealer motel owner?>grass shack- @penis potato?>dicktater @rabbit Ubangi?>jungle bunny harelip @rooster telephone pole?>thirty-foot cock wants reach ޚtouch someone @rooster cow?>Beef stroganoff @rooster disobedient dog?>cock won't come @stud debtor?>Someone least ten inches @whore Smurf?>fucking kid three feet high @whore computer?>fucking -- @elephant prostitute?/four-hundred pound whore screw peanuts @underwear factory Love Boat?>panty-liner @marijuana aphrodisiac?>Tumbleweed @give blind ҙenema?>No. 2 pencil @goose ghost?>handful sheet @mix holy water castor oil?>religious movement @”hooker nuns ڔfootball field?>One wide receiver tight ends @green balls hand?>Kermit's undivided attention @camel steak too salty?>hump @need disco dancer?>rear music @throw wedding where bride pregnant?>Puffed rice @Clint Eastwood Sondra Locke morning?>Pulls piece says, "Make my day." @Dolly Parton's husband suggests making love?>Heads hills @Liz Taylor now wanted?>stiff Dick @Nancy Reagan asshole morning.?>Send Oval Office @Pia Zadora consider -piece outfit?>Slippers @Princess Anne Mark Phillips wants sex?>Neigh @Tom Selleck ϕHawaii?>Getting leied @that's six inches long proves he's ?>His birth certificate @arms legs gets hard-?>Uses ̶kickstand @pants want face?>Wrinkles @rabbi play piano?>Chops dicks @young Indian date war party?>Beats tom-tom @alcoholic leg drink?>Hop scotch @impotent ڔwaterbed?>dead man's float @gets bigger stroke ?>An ego @mean couple slept spoons?>flopped around dirty drawers @St. Peter's answering machine?>St. Elsewhere @ڔepileptic's medical bracelet?>"I'm break dancing!" @average husband fantasize he's making love?>That wife isn't fantasizing @sign door artificial insemination clinic?>"Please come ɚseeded!" @folk group plays blood drives?>New Christy Menstruals @gets wetter dries?>Toilet paper @goes "Nort! Nort!?"/bull hare lip @goes "ha ha ha thump!">/leper laughing head off @goes "peck, peck, bang!?">chicken ɔmine field @goes thirteen six times?>Roman Polanski @five rings Խlaid?>1984 Limpdicks @cannibal schoolboy ate classmates?>passed third grade @set Twilight Zone John Landis upset Vic Morrow's last scene?>Heads rolled @Greek gardener?>pricked rose bushes @Polack went driving range hit ޔbucket balls?>broke driver bucket @Pope went Mount Olive?>Popeye almost killogist Poverty mother crime Preston's Axiom: Never put off till tomorrow avoid together Preston's Postulates: l) uses bad language ˙ignorant shnuck. 2) Love thy neighbor, sure husband away. 3) Two live cheaply ..half long Prisons rehabilitate, punish, protect, hell ? Production application tools materials, logic work Professor Dillon Rule: God we understand God Profitability sovereign criterion enterprise Public office last refuge incompetent Public service my motto Al Capone Pulliam's Postulate: Never step anything soft Put God work maximize potential our divinely ordered capitalist system Rabinow's : road patent office paved inventions Radar's Fundamental Truth: grass brown both sides fence Ralph's : It ˔mistake allow any mechanical object realize ɔhurry Reading mind exercise body Ready writing makes ׼writing; writing brings ready writing Ben Jonson Reasoning child fine, reach child's reason destroying yours Remember least plain sister family beauty Renau's Rural Ramblings: hole bottom ٔbird's nest usually means enjoys laying eggs, fond children Repartee: person thinks ٖbecomes departee Republicans sleep twin beds--some even separate rooms. That why Democrats Research see everybody else seen, think nobody else thought Retail Buyer's Motto: Never underestimate lack taste buying public Robert's Rule: At history mankind been enough important executive positions available important alive Rosner's Rules: l) Where there's , five hundred relatives. 2) It takes єmarriage-mother Rule Empire force Shogun Tokugawa Sammy Davis Jr's Dictum: professional job even ñfeel Samuel Johnson's Rule: few ways which Ҧinnocently employed making money San Diego ˜close Utopia any American city metropolitan size likely come Satan hasn't single salaried helper; Opposition employs million Sattinger's : It works better plug Schmidt's : Never eat prunes hungry Scrubbing floors emptying bedpans much dignity Presidency Seeing deceiving. eating that's believing Sevaried's : chief cause problems solutions Shalit's Drugstore : These pills habit-forming; I've been taking years Shanahans's : length any meeting rises square number present balanced dignity tip nose made ravishing corpse Show me books loves shall / far better mortal friends Show mercy resist Captain Bligh Silence gives consent, or horrible feeling nobody's listening Since we speak well dead, let's knock while they're alive Sleep lovely, death better still, been born course miracle So lied. So ? Thomas King Forcade So much we management consists making difficult work Socialism آcapitalism lower classes Socialism destroy poverty injustice inequality capacities Society attacks early individual helpless Some men borrow books; some men steal books, others beg presentation copies author Some my best friends MX missiles Ronald Reagan Some read because too lazy think Somebody's boring me.... think it's me Sometimes I've believed many six impossible things breakfast Songs made , extolling kindness Captain Bligh himself Sorenson's : If want politics, go church regularly Spark's Problem Solution: chances solving problem decline closer gets finding cause problem Speech civilization itself....It silence which isolates Stability immobility Stale's : No matter how careful resealing inner liner cereal boxes, tear where glued box Steal person it's plagiarism; steal four ߚit's scholarship Wilson Mizner Steal this book Abbie Hoffman Steven's Rule: One man's trash another man's treasure Stoicism wisdom madness cynicism madness wisdom Such men come Proud, open-eyed laughing tomb Sure dishonest men local government. But dishonest men national government too Richard Nixon Swine Flu Shot Definition: cure which known disease TRESPASSERS WILL BE EATEN sign gate ٔlionguarded estate Ken Burnstine, marijuana smoker Taft's : If "pro" opposite "con" then "Progress" opposite "Congress." Take ƶride Hymie Weiss Take prisoner! General George Armstrong Custer Talk devil, horns appear Tarnauckas' : attention span ٔcomputer ܜlong its electrical cord Thank God I've avoided persecuting my enemies Adolf Hitler Thank goodness we live medeival times fought wars over ideas General Wojciech Jaruzelski That feeling came over me Albert DeSalvo, Boston Strangler That which seems height absurdity generation often becomes height wisdom another That's great advertizing turn Chicago ʔcity you'd want spend three hours That's my private ant. You're liable break its legs That's where money Willie Suttopajamas?>Torn Between Love Duty @ugly girl's job hospital?>To stand front sick @world's grossest movie?>Texas Chain Saw Vasectomy @x-rated version Poor Richard's Almanac?>Tired Dick's Diary @John Derek teeth fall ?>Gum-Bo @partner ῔real bad acne problem?>His main squeeze @been Reagan's campaign strategy Democrats nominated Teddy Kennedy?>To pardon Sirhan Sirhan @Chinese gay sex?>Two chu @Fire Island cocaine dealer?>toot fairy @bunch female softball teams?>Bush league @champion masturbator who's too old jerk off?>ex-spurt @chicken incubated əouthouse?>toilet peeper @constipated Chinaman?>Hung Chow @dyke bar train station?>Stop, Look Lesbian @gay S&M bar Massachusetts?>Kickingham Stickingham @puts diaphragm crooked?>Mommy @comes ϔsex maniac, backs chips ?>pseudonymph @drops pants drops hint?>suggestion box @three boobs pussies?>smorgasbroad @farts tub counts bubbles?>puff adder @takes tinkle third rail?>conductor @sleeps hooker meets?>Cashanova @arms legs holds bank?>Rob @arms or legs floating close shore?>Doc @homosexual's lubricant jelly?>queering aid @hooker 500-pound John?>Pressed cash @horny Eskimo dwarf?>frigid midget rigid digit @horny forest ranger?>timber wolf @large fish sandwich McDonald's?>quarter flounder @lesbian's .U.D.?>fruit loop @place where prophylactics prohibited?>Rubber banned @proctologist moonlights fortune teller?>Fecal Finger Fate @rabbit crabs?>Bugs bunny @sadist's prostitute?>Strapped cash @sex party where everybody falls asleep?>snorgy @sex-crazed clam?>tramp steamer @small gay accountant ?>An S.O.B. C.P.. B.O. gives B.J.'s @stewardess sex bathroom ٙairplane?>flexible flyer @stiff wienie fanny?>cheekbone @transvestite lion?>Kink Jungle @well-hung member G.O.P.?>banana Republican @longer finds fault husband?>widow @young rabbi?>whopper snipper @early sixties singing group now tours evangelists?>Holy Roller Coasters @exhibitionist əinsane asylum?>Flip flash @boobs ڔbullfighter?>Matador knobs @gay sperm?>Fruit juice @looked girl's skirt funny feeling you'd looked ?>deja view @masseuse reducing salon?>blubber rubber @girls knit halter tops?>string quartit @What' s small, screams, turn corners?>baby spear @"Mine shaft."?>Arnold Schwarzenegger calls penis @6.9?>broken period @69 69?>Dinner four @Beethoven doing now?>Decomposing @Clint Eastwood's favorite tight spot?>Locke box @Dolly Parton's favorite candy bar?>Mounds @Dudley Moore's favorite exercise?>Climbing tall women @George Burns' favorite drink?>martini prune @Greek foreplay?>Here, sheepie, sheepie, sheepie @Helen Keller's favorite mouthwash?>Jergen's Lotion @Joan Collins' ٔhusband?>An attachment screw bed @Joan Collins' favorite love lubricant?>Chap Stick @Joan Collins' idea dinner four?>Sixty-nine twice @Johnny Carson's alimony?>screwing he's screwing ý @K.Y. jelly??>hang glider! @Liz Taylor's favorite game show?>"Family Food." @Margaret Thatcher's favorite song?>Don't falk me, Argentina @Princess Diana's favorite pet?>Prince Charles' blue bird @Reverend Falwell's idea heaven?>place which æwatch everyone else burn hell @Roman Polanski's motto?>"Spare rod, spoil child." @Sydney Biddle Barrows' favorite musical?>Call Me Madam @Logger's Credo?>"Tank , spank , plank , shank , thank !" @Uncle Ben's instant aphrodisiac?>Minute Rise @virgin?>whispers sweet doing ear @"piece de resistance"?>French virgin @71?>69 fingers someone's ass @Fire Island vampire?>clot sucker @Greek wet dream?>Shits pass night @Greek?>believes enlarging circle friends @Hawaiian aphrodisiac?>Sune Tu Laya @Honeymoon Cocktail?>Seven-Up cider @JAP's favority erotic position?>Bending over credit cards @JAP's idea perfect sex?>Simultaneous headaches @blowjob?>farts during anal sex @Saturday Night Safari?>Head bush @VD specialist?>misfortune teller @babysitter?>teenage hire boyfriend couch while child cries itself sleep @bastard fart?>stinker pop @bedpan?>review ٔBo Derek movie @bigamist?>keeps himself @bikini bottom?>gash mask @bisexual?>likes girls well next fellow @chimpanzee?>gay monkey @coolie?>quickie snow @degenerate?>Someone afford hide vices @diaphragm?>trampoline schmucks @fag's favorite zoo animal?>chimp-pansies @gay cannibal?>headhunter @gay policeman's favorite place?>Headquarters @indication wife husband wild night?>finds false eyelash pubic hair @happy Roman?>Gladiator @hen?>cock cock @hermaphrodite?>bisexual built @highball?>drink serve somebody high enough ball @hippie cannibal?>One eats three squares day @hula hoop nail ?>navel destroyer @hum job?>Choral sex @hump?>noun meaning ڔcamel's back, unless another camel, which case becomes verb @lesbian cocktail lounge?>-bar @minute ?>double parks front ٔwhorehouse @nice term person herpes?>An incurable romantic @person who's golden showers?>pea nut @premature ejaculation?>spoilspurt @real dilemma??>Being shipwrecked ڔdeserted island porcupine heat @redneck?>who'll fuck , won't go school @semi-quickie?>Half-fast sex @sexual hangup?>hook hang douche bag @shotgun wedding?>case wife or death @toilet queers?>fruit bowl @vice squad?>pussy posse @wife?>An attachment screw bed housework done @woman's making love?>election injection ٔprojection affection mid-section objection connection @adultery?>Two wrong doing right @alimony?>screwing screwing @M&M love affair?>ɔmeal movie melt mouth, hand @asset?>donkey @indication 甤˷very small town?>open night legs @indication 町could improve personal hygiene?>blows kiss canker sore @indication 甾˔real sex maniac?>won't eat doughnut unless hair @indication date frigid?>lick thigh tongue sticks leg @inner city program definitely want teenage daughter joining?>Head Start @another name firing squad?>gang bang bang @another reason GOD created orgasm?>wait second coming @bed rheumatism?>Your joint won't stiff @better knowing makes tick?>Knowing makes go off @better coat check nice hangers?>cashier open drawers @better four roses ڔpiano?>Two lips ڙorgan @better 滶drive fool around?>Parking somewhere business @bigamy?>One wife too many. Same monogamy @white sees eye eye?>Sammy Davis Sandy Duncan @, pink, hairy sits ڔwall?>Humpty Cunt @brown full holes?>Swiss shit @brown soft sits ڔpiano bench?>Beethoven's First movement @brown sounds ϔbell?>Dung @eight inches long, round, hard, hole middle?>stock 69 bus tokens @galley slave's nightmare?>captain likes water ski @fast food Transylvania?>tampon pizza @gray comes quarts?>Elephants @green skates?>Peggy Phlegm @green slides hospital?>Mucus Welby @grosser grease Olivia Newton-John?>"Come Eileen." @grosser gross?>Feeling grandpa hard-while sitting lap @grosser gross?>girlfriend split best friend's class ring falls @grosser l,000 dead babies stacked top ?>One live baby bottom trying eat way @grosser opening refrigerator door having rump roast fart face?>Biting ʔjelly doughnut noticing string dangling @grosser grandfather boner while sitting lap?>Your grandmother lifting dress saying, "Come , kids, we're eating tonight!" @air San Francisco keeps women pregnant?>Men's legs @invisible smells worms?>Bird farts @l0,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1?>Bo Derek older @latent homosexuality?>Swishful thinking @long smells pussy?>handle Billy Jean King's tennis racket @long hard excites she's finally lucky enough ?>road success @long hard Mr. T.?>second grade @making love hot dog style?>wienie buns @man's greatest invention?>Woman's virtue @misery middle-aged ?>Borrowing neighbor's douche bag finding husband's false teeth @confusing Chinese fire drill?>Father's Day Harlem @obvious hard-ɔbathing suite?>Kotex ڔnudist @old wrinkled smells ginger?>Fred Astaire's face @most expensive things world?>who's free evening @pillage?>About sixteen, most girls @prune juice?>run-cola! @puberty?>boys girls hair differences @red crawls leg?>homesick abortion @red million holes ?>baby ڔbed nails @red seven dents?>Snow White's cherry @red silver crawls walls?>baby forks it's eyes @red white hangs tree?>baby run over snowblower @sickle cell anemia?>AIDS spades @six inches long, nuts, єfat?>An Almond Joy @small, green falls apart?> Leperchaun @great being test-tube baby?>”womb view @soft, fuzzy, most fun it's ?>mink yo-yo @4F Club?>Find 'em, feel 'em, fuck 'em forget 'em @4V Club?>Vip , vip , vipe off, vamoose @French soap opera where action takes place girls' lavatory?>BIDETS OF OUR LIVES @German word "bra"?>stopemfromsloppen @Greek army's motto?>"Never Leave Your Buddy's Behind." @barber's fraternity?>Hair Pi @best opener?>Ex-lax @best kind ٺgolfing?>One knows how use woods @best give date dessert?>creme-filled Ding Dong @best way avoid rape?>Beat off attacker @best way catch fish?>Have someone throw @best way eat chicken?>Put leg around each ear @best way go bald?>Do U-turns under sheets @best way keep ߷stealing Kotex?>Get padlock @best way part girl's hair?>With tongue @best way save marriage?>Go ޚprice few divorce lawyers @bisexual best seller?>Cunts Is Not Enough @cheapest way tonsillectomy?>Gargle Preparation H @deep freeze sperm bank?>place whose come @"Peter Pan?>"washbasin ɔwhorehouse @"thorny"?>thailor thea @ٔBloody Mary?>wounded faggot @ٔbusybody?>An employee Sydney Biddle Barrows @ٔcrummy bastard?>boy eating crackers church while parents married @ٔreal loser?>wet dream catches VD @ٔtough ?>bangs dick against side urinal dry off @conceit?>mosquito hard-floating river back shouting, "Open drawbridge!" @optimism?>75-year old gay still shaves legs @really big feet?>dance Dolly Parton still step toes @讠"ooh" "aah"?>About three inches @讠Grandma periods?>Grandma goes bed Gramps @讠Jesus Christ oil painting?>need nail hang painting @讠Joan Collins vulture?>vulture won't eat until he's dead @讠Joan Collins Titanic?>Only 1000 went Titanic @讠Joan Collins wind?>wind blow day @讠Joan Rivers whoopee cushion?>whoopee cushion ˔funny stunt @讠CB'er flasher?>CB'er tells handle @讠Greek suppository?>None @讠Parisian ditch digger who's date?>Parisian ditch digger ˔French trencher @讠Scotsman coconut?>drink ٔcoconut @讠diaphragm diarrhea?>diaphragm keeps squirts; diarrhea creeps squirts @讠dry, white, wine New Jersey stud?>One's Soave Bolla ˔suave bowler @讠fox pig?>About 8 or 9 drinks @讠bad ?/wakes says, "Good morning, Lord!"/bad wakes says, "Good Lord, morning!" @讠hormone enzyme?>ęenzyme @讠light bulb pregnant women?>unscrew light bulb @讠light bulb sports car?>easy screw ɔlight bulb @讠magician chorus line?>magician cunning feats stunts @讠male robot female robot?>Lug nuts @讠midget con artist case herpes?>One's cunning runt... @讠mistress wife?>night day @讠moose Lawrence Welk's orchestra?>moose its horns front its asshole rear @讠mother--law bucket shit?>bucket @讠penis George Burns?>stroke penis, wrinkles come @讠pigmy tribe -track team?>Pigmies cunning runts @讠plack plick?>plack hangs ڔwall, plick hangs ڔChinaman @讠porch swing pretty ?>porch swing stops making noise pour oil @讠quarterback virgin bride?>quarterback reels squad breaks @讠razor Greek works Mayflower Van Lines?>One ˔hair remover, ˔hairy mover @讠screw staple?>either! I've been stapled @讠snake goose?>snake ˙asp grass @讠soldier searching bunk soldier doing likes best?>soldier searching bunk ڔcot hunt @讠straight gay ?>something goes straight guy's ass, there's usually fingernail @讠straight rodeo gay rodeo?>At straight rodeo yell, "Ride suckers!" @讠volcano?>volcano fakes eruptions @讠young hooker old hooker?>Vaseline Polygrip @讠Oscar-winning film Joan Collins?>Not many actors been Oscar-winning films. @讠alarm clock man's pecker?>alarm clock goes off @讠optimist pessimist wedding nights?>optimist hears, "That's happiness. . .", pessimist hears, "That's penis?" @讠oral rectal thermometer?>taste @讠beer nuts deer nuts?>Beer nuts dollar quarter; deer nuts under buck @讠fish meat?>If beat fish, die @讠grated manure German calls sweetheart?>Grated manure fine muck @讠having job being married ten years?>job still sucks ten years @讠kinky perverted?>Kinky tickle lover's ass feather. Perverted use whole chicken @讠Ϛlove?>spit swallow @讠mono herpes?>mono snatch kiss @讠pussy parsley?>eat parsley @讠Reagan White House porcupine?>porcupine its pricks outside @讠ties tickles feather uses onion dildo?>ties tickles feather, it's kinky stunt @distinguishing characteristic cabbage snatch doll?>lift its dress smells sauerkraut @dumbest part ٔ?>His prick. (brains, its best friends nuts, lives next door asshole.) @easiest way meet ߝbar?>Pick somebody else's change @easiest way mount butterfly?>Get drunk @Adam came upon Eve?>Wipe off fig leaf @sorority morning?>Walks home @ask nurse walks hospital room?>"Friend or enema?" @fourth biggest lie?>ܔcold sore @game show muffdiving experts?>Name That Tuna @greatest joy motherhood?>Getting way @hardest performing sex change ?>Inserting anchovies @height nerve?>Shitting someone's doorstep, then ringing asking toilet paper @height precaution?>An old maid putting condom ڔcandle @last passes cat's mind he's hit truck hundred miles hour?>His asshole @main baseball politics?>In baseball, caught stealing, @major fringe benefit being prostitute?>gonna meat @most fun picnic?>Getting nod put prod pod ٔnice bod warm sod @most useless Grandma?>Grandpa @national organization herpes sufferers?>American Lesion @Eddie Murphy movie where plays undercover cop?>Incognegro @bra offers total freedom motion well-endowed ladies?>Jonathan Livingston C Cup @national anthem Monaco?>"She'll Be Comin" Round Mountain Comes." @government tax?>penis, because 90% it's inactive, l0% it's hole, it's dependents they're both nuts @used sanitary napkins ?>Tea bags vampires @perfect gift everything?>Penicillin @proper way refuse sperm bank come door contribution?>Tell give united way @purpose ٔbellybutton?>To put gum way @reason lot couples 69?>Ըaround @saddest trust ٔrelationship?>It takes fun lying each @secret ٔhappy marriage?>maid wife both come couple times week @square root 69?>Ate something @swinger's version love sight?>Thrust lust @toughest being endowed Dolly Parton?>Going most life being last what's fork @ultimate rejection?>masturbating hand falls asleep @wildest having date epileptic ?>might swallow tongue, too @worst doctor ƚconstipated?>Put hold @worst dating lady leper?>give head once @worst fucking video game?>list appears screen ٗguys done better @worst playing softball ɔcow pasture?>Sliding thought third base @worst screwing ڔwaterbed?>Your plug keeps coming @unique Piz Zadora's anatomy?>She's private parts @white found women's panties?>Clitty Litter @worse having date disappointed ?>Having date , disappointed @worse lobster piano?>Crabs organ @yellow green eats nuts?>Gonorrhea @yellow sleeps alone?>Yoko Ono @takes off pants ɔhotel room what's hang ?>Do Not Disturb sign @asked something salacious,/answered, "Of course ! Good gracious!"/But sight tool/So induced drool/That view, end, proved fellatious @Grace Kelley's car engine stop?>In mid-stroke @Lee Majors realize Farrah Fawcett leaving?>discovered Ryan O'Neal ɶ @Renee Richards' mother suspect something wrong son?>In college. decided spend junior year broad @Roman Polanski become Boy Scout?>ate ǵBrownie @William Westmoreland's parents planning go West Point?>found john reading Sergeant Slaughter comics beating off @masochists laugh?>something strikes funny @Δoverdue douche?>Her Odor Eaters crawl leg @Δreally horny?>sits open hand feels ϔhorse eating palm @premature ejaculation ˔problem?>start squirting while she's still flirting @”masturbation problem?>psychiatrist calls Thumper @even older?>used night long now long @old?>used night long now takes night long @really wreck?>need shots bourbon calm enough off valium bottle @really busy?>pee sink while brush teeth. . . @farts pipe organ effect?>After eat macaroni beans @George Burns sex?>Almost night. Almost Monday night, almost Tuesday night.. @George Burns invite young over?>needs Pampered @Cub Scout become Boy Scout?>eats ǵBrownie @mother feel she's failure?>son sweeps streets daughter walks @sitting front ٔfire date cease romantic?>trucks @Greek flag fly half-mast?>gets pushed @giving head eating watermelon?>spit seeds @easiest orgasms?>he's twins @extremely dangerous ”wet dream?>under electric blanket @spanking permitted public schools?>Between consenting teachers @shit really gonna hit fan?>In Turd World War @race moon runs its course/And women sent force,/Will men embrace/In world's outer space/Start making love outercourse? @sultan entered harem unexpectedly, wives let ޔterrified sheik @best birth control ˙apple, mean or ?>Instead @driving along south shore beautiful Long Island, how you've reach Fire Island?>street lights pastel @Where Prince Charles spend honeymoon?>In-Diana @Where Elvis Presley, John Belushi, Natalie Wood Grace Kelly vacation?>Club Dead @Where Alpine pansies come ?>Swisherland @Where shady boogers come ?>Shadow Nose @Where tobacco-chewing race car drivers refuel?>At spit stops @Where Deuphus, god retarded children, live?>Mount Special Olympus @Where Sally Ride sit space shuttle?>In cuntpit @Where horny Indian couple go?>To Happy Humping Grounds @Where Eskimo fat date?>Bluber's Lane @Where see Jack-off Olympics?>On Wide World Spurts @Where's worst place teenagers braces locked?>On girlfriend's .U.D.'s @Which college girls most fun?>ones think intercourse classes @Which maids best bed?>ones change mop handles hands tied behind backs @Which following won Best Rhymes Time 1954?>loves me. . . ò! He'll me. . . won't! could ç. . . ò @Who dirty jokes?>ones remember @Who competed Archie Veronica's attention real pain ass?>Wedgie @Who James Herriot sleep ?>All creatures great small @Who computers?>Adam Eve! Eve apple, Adam wang @Who world's smallest chicken coop?>! There's room cock, stand head @Who invented bagpipes?>Irish! Then, goof, gave Scottish told musical instrument @Who Billy Jean King's latest corporate sponsor?>Snap-On Tools America @Who jerked off during Revolutionary Water?>John Handcock @Who killed David Kennedy?>Syringe Syringe @Who Alexandria Graham Bellski?>long distance callgirl @Who probably person declare masturbation perfectly normal?>Someone very normal @Who frankfurter entrepreneur?>Eve! made Adam's hot dog stand @Who wears space panties?>Girls think asses this world @Who whistles while works?>-headed faggot @Who won prize literary costume ball?>couple went bottomless Pit Pendulum @Who works late shift pajama factory?>nightie watchman @Who's Sesame Street's horniest character?>Nookie Monster @Who's Tinker Bell's abortionist?>Captain Hook @Who's meaner put tack electric chair??>gave Ray Charles ticket see Marcel Marceau @Who's nervous nun ɔcucumber patch?>racehorse Greek jockey @Who's meet Ocean World?>teaches blowfish @Who's laziest person world?>farmhand stands ڔstump, screwing mule, moving inch, hollering, "Giddap! Whoa! Back! Giddap! Whoa! Back!" @Who's most popular member ٔhorny softball team?>designated hooker @Who's world's greatest actress?>act naive night second marriage @Australian dogs fastest world?>trees far apart @hookers apathetic?>give fuck @animal jokes confusing?>If sheep ˔ram mule ˙ass, how come ram ass ˔goose? @chickens ugly?>You'd ugly pecker hanging head @clams women?>red tide comes, eat @cowgirls wild?>While girls having Sex Ed., having Mr. Ed @Democrats distributing toilet paper Reagan's picture ?>So assholes see voted @starship Enterprise toilet paper similar?>both circle Uranus looking Klingons @few cannibals around anymore?>They've discovered sixty-nine @many Chinese world?>If , you've obviously tried own shirts @women amazing?>give milk eating hay, bleed cut, bury bones digging holes @women giving bowling screwing?>balls lighter change shoes @women pianos?>they're upright, they're grand @love intoxicating?>often made still night @Nell Carter bed morning?>keeps rocking herself back sleep @Santa Claus babies?>comes once year, it's chimney @fortune tellers babies?>Their husbands crystal balls @gays car insurance?>rear-ended too often @gypsies babies?>husbands crystal balls @rock group Go-Gos sex?>lips sealed @witches babies?>Their husbands Halloweenies @Christina Onassis keep Greek husband happy?>refused bend over backward please @leper dump comedy show?>he'd laughed ass off @Betty Ford found clinic?>To give celebrities place could home @Bo Derek insist replacing leading last picture?>part play @Dale Evans nearly divorce Roy Rogers?>One day found stuffing Trigger @Dolly Parton's kids plastic surgery?>To rid stretch marks around mouths @Emmanuel Lewis run mother tears ýdiarrhea?>thought melting @Frosty Snowman pull pants?>heard snowblower coming @GOD create men?>teach electric vibrator mow lawn @GOD give women nipples?>To suckers men @George Burns cancel concert date?>Something unexpected came @Joan Collins turn huge offer series NBC?>wanted peacock @Joan Crawford often clothes hanger kids?>angry forgot use born @Johnny believe mother's story having sponge legs?>saw lady next door using hers wash father's face @Johnny think father dicks?>saw use small pee, huge brush babysitter's teeth @Linda Lovelace throw away vibrator?>It chipped teeth @Liz Taylor's friends buy Ŕdictionary?>understand 󔮠being "coupled" being "engaged." @Mary Tyler Moore marry doctor found diabetic?>needed frequent injections @Nixon's aides wish Pope?>Then ܿkiss ring @Richard Nixon go see movie Deep Throat three times?>wanted ̳pat @Richard Nixon see movie Deep Throat five times?>wanted ̳Pat @Roman Polanski volunteer teach school?>loves working student bodies @Ronald Reagan scream joy bed night?>After years, he's finally achieved single-digit inflation @Roxanne Pulitzer's husband kick ?>spent day eating bed @Speedy Gonzales virgin?>"It won't hurt, ?" @Stephanie Powers go ڔsafari Bill Holden?>liked deep bush, Øshot twice, ate shot @Sydney Biddle Barrows find prostitution profitable?>profits went assets went @Talia Shire return mink coat Rocky bought ?>fur clashed mustache @Wendy go Burger King?>home Whopper @captain Kirk pee ceiling?>To go where ever gone @Renee Richards awhile recuperate surgery?>woke dis-jointed @Democrats hire Jane Wyman?>knows how screw Ronald Reagan dump @Detroit Lions hire nuns prostitute season?>needed tight ends wide receiver @Indian chief re-name daughter "Ninety-nine cents?>"under buck @Jewish American Princess teeth filled gold?>husband come money @Manhattan fag move Long Island?>So could listed Queens Directory @Polack close topless restaurant middle business hours?>It started rain @water polo team drop Olympics??>All horses drowned! @Pope flash Sistine Chapel?>wanted expose himself art @T.V. programmer go doctor another enema prescription?>reruns @Warsaw aquarium close ?>clam drowned @cop wound lady right thighs?>crack shot @exhibitionist arrested Burger King?>drove -window took @fag pull wang dentist's chair?>tooth @faggot road?>To another fly @gay Manhattanite move another borough?>wanted listed Queens telephone directory @gay become male prostitute?>decided took head some money @bathe hair coloring rinse?>So she'd ”snatch match @break mentalist?>care body; wanted Ŷmind @come track star?>told ÿAthlete's Foot, thought ÿsaid ÿleast foot @compliment boyfriend moustache?>It made feel @gorgeous young go Hollywood?>wanted love under stars @hula girls insist Herve Villechaize fired "Fantasy Island"?>hair @leper fail driving test?>left foot gas @leper pitcher retire?>threw arm @lifeguard think Joan Collins drowning?>saw go third @lights priest's motel room go off sexy walked ?>willpower failure @lady varicose veins win prize costume ball?>took off clothes went road map @midget peeping tom decide become ballet dancer?>ÿmuch experience standing toes @perverted trumpeter go track?>To play horses @rooster basketball court?>heard ref blowing fouls @rubber fly across room?>It pissed off @sexual deviate road?>ÿchicken stuck dick @waitress gasp customers told ῔tampon behind ear?>realized where pen @widow give traveling salesman free meal?>pumped well @young bride mixed emotions regarding having tied knot?>, three weeks married life, felt ϔ. . . husband @young go sperm bank?>For ice pop @cancel plans Bo Derek postage stamp?>afraid everyone lick wrong side @come designer laxatives?>For go style @find Jessica Savitch bottom pond?>anchorwoman @fumigate Love Boat?>found crabs Captains's dinghy @off lepers' hockey game?>face off corner @kick bedwetting racist Ku Klux Klan?>went meetings ɔrubber sheet @kick midget nudist colony?>everybody's hair @put clock leaning tower Pisa?>inclination haven't ? @young Johnny win award Hollywood PTA?>ÿmost parents meeting @Burt Reynolds ever spend any beach?>Shore sucked @Natalie Wood shower boat?>wanted wash onshore @dog want de-wormed?>afraid robins stop giving rim jobs @nearsighted ever change son's diapers?>So could find @voters elect Mondale-Ferraro ticket?>want boobs White House @Arab women wear veils?>So blow noses hands dirty @Chinese men boner put dicks ɔlight socket?>Erectricity @Indians wear jock straps?>Totem balls @Jewish girls think prostitution such business?>"Ya , ya sell , ya still !" @Polacks bury dead face shallow?>So relatives come picnic grave, there's place put napkins @Valley Girls wear diaphragms?>Fer shurr, fer shurr @blacks wear flared pants?>knee grows @crabs circles under eyes?>From sleeping snatches @farts smell?>So deaf ߦappreciate too @fathers advise sons aim high?>So won't splash shoes @gay men mustaches?>To hide stretch marks @generals put epileptic infantrymen front?>So enemy who's been shot @horny men lousy bank robbers?>After pull wives panty hose over heads, wind jumping back bed @hunters best lovers?>go keep bush, shoot once, eat anything @jokes oral sex choke ?>they're bad taste @men girls Australia?>They're nicer under @most luncheonettes close five p.m.?>To let soda jerk off @Ronald Reagan prophylactic President?>gives feeling safety while being screwed @athletic shirts jerseys?>usually stick @truck drivers great lovers?>best places eat @ugly girls hide Ground Hogs Day?>Everybody's looking hog grind @women bellybuttons?>So men ”place put gum way @women rub eyes bed morning?>balls scratch @Billid Jean King girlfriend "Creme de Menthe"?>she's favorite licker @Debra Winger love slowly?>she's Governor back @Dolly Parton such small waist?>Nothing grows shade @Joan Collins beach sore throat?>To suck ڔLifesaver @Joan Collins' diet consist primarily salads?>eats ϔrabbit too @Joanna Carson use tampons instead sanitary napkins?>With , there's string attached everything @Linda Ronstadt sing slow?>governor @Liz Taylor keep married?>vibrator buy jewelry @Martina Navratilova wish could spend working Eastern Europe?>misses native tongue @Mayor Koch masturbating?>sex someone loves @Miss Piggy douche vinegar honey?>Kermit likes sweet--sour pork @Miss Piggy talk funny?>warts lips @Mr. T walk around fly open?>In case count ll @Nancy Reagan climb top?>Ronnie fuck @New York much herpes California many real estate agents?>New York choice @Ronald Reagan eat jelly beans?>So æcome l0 delicious colors @Warren Beatty buy date dinner?>rest night's @JAP close eyes during sex?>stand see ” @mother itchy passes maternity clinic?>remembers ῔close shave @elephant four feet?>eight inches aren't enough @elephant four feet?>eight inches isn't enough @everybody masturbate?>we want something done right, yourself @masturbating Superman stronger?>he's pumping iron @Pope refuse look mirror he's naked?>want look unemployed @battle sexes wage ښ?>husbands usually ܸhalf times want , wives usually want half times @Billy Jean King shave legs?>hair holds sweat socks @Dolly Parton's husband want any kids?>already hands full @Jerry Falwell own color television?>sees everything ɡwhite @Lois give Superman head anymore?>chipped three teeth @Pia Zadora work Halloween?>candle head @Richard Gere showers?>cloud mirror @Santa Claus any Clauses?>comes once year, that's chimney @library congress congressman?>congressman bend over pages @Frenchmen buy tomato slicers?>eat tomatoes whole @women split pea soup?>some men prefer eat pea whole @bunnies noise screw?>cotton balls @chickens wear underwear?>peckers faces @faggots lean baseball bats rear ends?>They're afraid might serious @senators use bookmarks?>bend over pages @Ronald Reagan Կhemorrhoids?>He's perfect asshole @John Bo Derek been invited Israel?>government heard they've produced series perfect bombs @—Pia Zadora's movies bombed?>screw audience @Billy Jean King 㼝tennis?>swings both ways @Bo Derek playing female pugilist next movie?>audience wants see box @Debra Winger attracted politician?>She's used saying yes proposition @Joan Collins ϔchicken farmer?>both єliving raising cocks @Joanna Carson ϙElectrolux?>both suck money @Pope John Paul II ϔChristmas tree?>both balls decoration @Reverend Falwell against teaching foreign languages public schools?>If English enough Jesus, it's enough rest us @Roman Polanski leaving estate trust girlfriend?>want touch until she's thirteen @Ronald Reagan worried countries Central America?>He's afraid they're Castro-convertible @Stevie Wonder's face pockmarked?>From learning eat fork @Vic Morrow longer Screen Actors Guild?>dismembered @dating divorcee lot working old car?>fun fooling around used parts @dealing IRS wearing rubber?>feeling safety security while being screwed sensitivity @̗right son go debt father?>father went hole @estimated 99% ٗmasturbate?>1% either taking poll or answering door @ridiculous women complain men love too fast?>much speed build 45 seconds? @difficult buy Christmas present Warren Beatty?>who's everybody? @easy turn Frankenstein's monster?>amps pants @groovy test-tube baby?>you've womb view @much fun fat country-western bar?>drunk play washboard chins @marriage ϔbath?>Once used , ain't hot @money manure?>ּunless spread around @shit tapered both ends?>So asshole slam shut @strip poker great game?>lose, show @bell wedding symbol?>long dong @chicken farmer invented huge machine automatically separates chicken fillets skeletons proud?>He's biggest boner East Coast @isn't Farrah Fawcett breast-feeding son?>Ryan O'Neal won't give @isn't Ralph Nader interested comedy?>recall jokes @company hire psychiatrist proctologist?>To fix odds ends @let masturbate peace?>They're screwing themselves @shouldn't upset loses cherry?>She's still box came @Adam idiot?>apple, ate apple @Dolly Parton jealous Miss Lillian Carter?>biggest boobs world-Jimmy Billy @Lady Di disappointed honeymoon?>thought rulers twelve inches @Lois Lane horny Superman?>needed iron injection @Loni Anderson's crime show canceled?>stop saying, "Stick !" @Mariel Hemingway such success playing Dorothy Stratten?>big buildup part @Renee Richards lonely operation?>rootless @American Indian most popular whore house?>tight buck @Old Testament prostitute arrested?>For trying єprophet Temple @Polack looking archaeologist?>found used tampon wondering period @bluefish blue?>blowfish wouldn't blow @faggot smiling released Ʒjail morning?>spent night @female honor student upset?>missed period @gay depressed?>ugly ÿdate girls @coaching girls' softball team fired?>spent batter's box @nymphomaniac waterbed screaming help?>󻳶third @masochist lonely?>starved affliction @sailor covered sand?>known under boardwalk Wave @stamp commemorating prostitution unpopular?>pay extra ten cents lick @traveling salesman starving?>ÿmouth day whore's tongue toothbrush @--four looking knothole?>It stud @unemployed stripper depressed?>undressed place show @wasn't sure date fun bed?>told he'd seconds @three fraternity brothers trying impress knew herpes?>competing infection @Ԟshortage horsemen?>ride barback @won't Kermit marry Miss Piggy?>family full awful boars @won't ever French astronaut?ever ٔFrenchman ?> @wouldn't female spy give CIA agent head unless wore condom?>wanted blow cover @Yetta: Tell me, sweetheart, think sex?/Bessie: Well, think it's finest department store New York @elephants use tampons, right?>Sheep @why sex ϔbridge game?>need partner ”hand @old wife gives sex Lent find until Easter #Daddy, Daddy...what's pervert?>Shut keep sucking #Define "organ grinder">gay chipped front tooth #ĕfive pricks?>His pants fit ϔglove #ĕvideo game women ܥDick-Man?>put ɔquarter fucked #ĕnewest consumer scare San Francisco?>scorned gay slipped Perma Bond ʗK-Y Jelly tubes #Do Cinderella 10 ?>fuck suck night then turn ʔsix-pack ball #Four faggots sitting ɔhot tub blob semen rose surface.>/One said, "All right, farted?" #Have heard gay sperm whale Florida Keys?>bit head off submarine ate seamen #Have heard convenience food product gays buying?>Semen Helper #șAlaskan turtle bombed?>He's trying fuck igloo #roommate's gay?>cock tastes shit #French hold liquor?>By ears #"fuck " Los Angles?>"Trust me." #circumcise ?>Sit naked ڔwicker chair, saw off whatever hangs #nun pregnant?>Fuck #єhormone?>Put sand Vaseline #quiet gay baby?>Shove pacifier its ass #Ronald Reagan , "Fuck "?>"Trust me." #far could see twelve-inch prick growing forehead?>see , because balls eyes #many New Yorkers change light bulb?>Go fuck yourself #If twelve inch dick sticking forehead, how much could see?>None, because balls hanging front eyes #On grounds Mickey Mouse divorce Minnie?>Insanity, fucking Goofy #once curate Kew/Who preached vestments askew./lady Morgan/Caught sight organ,/And promptly passed pew #young corporal Kildare/Who fondling ɔchair./At sixty-third stroke,/furniture broke/And rifle went off air #young couple named Kelly/Who forced walk belly belly,/haste/used library paste/Which thought vaginal jelly #young fellow named Sweeney/Whose terrible meanie./hatch snatch/Had catch latch;/could ܞscrewed Houdini #anecdotes circle jerks?>Cock--pull stories #blueballs?>vice love lorn #George Gershwin write put bottle mucilage pecker?>"Rhapsody Glue!" #lesbian ݝgay bar?>"Care come back my place some twat-tails?>" #芺boyfriend told suffered premature ejaculation?>"care kid!" #fag shoved baloney lover's ass?>"wurst yet come!" #accidentally grabbed Krazy Glue instead KY Jelly?>"My lips sealed #date wouldn't blow or fuck ?>"Taste , want !" #hurricane coconut tree?>Hold onto nuts; this ain't gonna ordinary blow job #Rubic's Cube penis ɨ?>longer play , harder gets #virgin sneeze ɨ?>Goes tight #umbrella dick ɨ?>both service #fags condoms?>Seal meal #gay pirates sing?>"Yo, ho, ho bottle cum!" #Herve Villechaize's circumcision?>Tiny trim #gay Indian?>brave fucker #pigmy rapist?>fucker #rooster kicks egg across barnyard?>Cock soccer #wearing condom anal sex?>Brown bagging #Marlboro sperm?>butt fuck #penis French fry?>dictator #fuck Coke?>Burpies #mule eats legs off my rooster?>Two feet my cock ass #plumber?>Shit go uphill bite fingernails #fag sticks ballpoint ass?>pen pal #who's Ϳorgasm ɨhe's top ?>both want off #Renee Richards' penis?>It snatched #fuzzy balls eats pussy?>Billy Jean King #modern pussy?>Cuntemporary #讠Ϛlove?>Spit or swallow #kind soup fag order ɔChinese restaurant?>Cream sum yung #kind tourists most fun?>Clit-tourists #┺bring boyfriend invites over bite?>Her kneepads #use fuck lady genie?>wishbone #Linda Lovelace Bermuda Triangle ɨ?>both swallow seaman #name maternity shop Harlem?>"Mother Frockers." #depressed whale penis?>Mopey Dick #fag AIDS?>One lucky cocksucker #farmboy won't fuck cows?>non-dairy creamer #gay likes fuck men hemorrhoids??>pile driver #that's half-Japanese half ?>Sumdumfuk #kosher tampon?>Tightwad #satisfied, nearly extinct sea mammal?>fuck-filled platypus #shack where gays meet weekends??>bunghole boffing bungalow! #airline steward girlfriends New York City Washington, D.C.?>shuttlecock #hooker fucks arms legs?>Cash carry #"fuckoff?>"tiebreaker Miss Universe contest #68?>me owe #72?>69 fingers ass #birth control pill?>픺put mouth keep pregnant #nymphomaniac?>fuckaholic #poor man's Jacuzzi?>Farting bathtub #real friend?>Someone go downtown, blowjobs, come back give #indication homosexual very promiscuous?>His ass stretched drawstring #indication wife ˹nearsighted?>wake she's sucking bedpost #brown holes ?>Swiss shit #grosser gross?>Biting ʔhot dog finding veins #grosser gross?>Finding pubic hair Bloody Mary #grosser gross?>Fucking pregnant lady fetus gives head #grosser gross?>open refrigerator door rump roast farts face #organic dental floss?>Pubic hair #protein?>who's too young fuck #Dog's Rule Of Life?>"If or fuck , piss !" #New York City discotheque tourists?>Go-Go Fuck Yourself #best home cooking?>Eat girlfriend #best way group sex shy?>Fuck schizo #analingus?>Tongue--cheek #讠"ohh" "ahh"?>About four inches #讠prostitute rooster?>rooster says "Cock--doodle-doo" And prostitute says "Any cock " #讠love herpes?>Herpes forever #讠men jelly beans?>Jelly beans come different colors #modern woman's idea perfect ?>One who's ---half feet tall, ten-inch tongue, breathe ears #noisiest world?>Two skeletons fucking ڔtin roof ɔhailstorm using soup cans rubbers! #ultimate rejection?>While masturbating, hand falls asleep #worst job movie theatre?>Sucking farts seats #worse raped Jack Ripper?>Being fingered Captain Hook #Where Adam Bricker shit dick?>Gopher's hole #Where ˙elephant's sex organ?>In feet: If steps , fucked #Who fucks fee freshwater?>prostitrout #many virgins Ireland?>pricks over here #Muppets nickname Kermit "Porky"?>likes fuck pigs #cannibal overcook mind reader ÿever captured??>wanted rare medium well-done #groom find virgin bride crying pointing pecker woke morning ?>thought used ̗night #homosexual taking dump woods think ÿͿmiscarriage??>looked , ÿdone diarrhea ڔfrog #teenage blame pregnancy mother?>mother taught how give decent blowjob #madams prefer -story brothels?>So there'll fucking overhead #most men big tits small pussies?>big mouths small dicks #many guys come back bathroom wet spots front pants?>peckers snort #tampons strings?>So floss eat #wrap hamster electrician's tape?>So won't explode fuck #paranoid schizophrenic ”hard shaving?>trust fucker holding razor #women longer climax?>Who cares #San Diego Chicken wear underwear?>pecker's face #Jewish husbands eat pussy?>Beggers chewers #chickens need underwear?>peckers faces #being service Ϲblowjob?>closer discharge, better feel! #sex universal?>everybody fucks same language #fuck mountain goat edge ٔcliff?>So you'll sure pushes back #Zalewski delivering chair house suburbs./ rang doorbell opened door.> absolutely stark naked./"Say," said Zalewski, pointing , "my wife costume yours!" ؇'x#C'8P VG VWcs܂c#}Xy'H7dDfDf b "C `p33`3Yn;9nYY'Xp˧'Xp A>.EEEEeeieeiieX˧44XPXۧ4,gX`gXgX rqLrpk tt8GǸ8GDEGǹ()(-ײ(M(-ץ*`*fnn8n>{BkB{B{B{?8?8?8?8CCUU̪7? 4ZJ    ^VRޭޭ!R!RޭHHHHasshole blowjob cunt dildo fart FUCKfuck shit Źӎ?u33v a$$4   UUUU**ƪ*GyG\yy~ffZf2fݙyYY-MYYf==:=z=E=r:,r:z4Ezh[Yjjj:ٕj:Ca uhShh,S,S[D,SZUmm1|vNN΂1}cc4ˬccp.MSEѺ..5Seњ.;aaĞ;;p~ā;{{{0{$k۔$k?dg˜=eC+eG.Vggz00~"b]Ϣ0 `7XH 77J 7G 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R @ .R"@f .N^NuNVB`R .R @Jf .N^NuNV/<oa.aX . gF g6 g& f6/<o4aRX/<o}aFXa`8/<oA`/<oM`/<o^`/<oraXHn/. aPHn`N^NuNuNVH<*< .lDD&". lDD( lB@H@40H@0H@`6 l$//N^PlS JlDL if current word is OK %s = %s%s%c \JOKES\alias.namwcan't open alias name file %s rcan't open %s \JOKES\quotesr+\JOKES\generalr+\JOKES\ethnicr+\JOKES\sexistr+Can't open all the data files bad fp can't read data file! ptr >= max when it shouldn't be internal error: seg > 2 assholeblowjobcuntdildofartfuckshitCuntFartFuckShit ABecause Did HeHow IIt's Italian Law ObservationPolish She The There They What What's When Why You aabout after all always anand are asatbebefore between black but bycall called can can't common couldn'tcross definitiondid didn't differencedodoes doesn't don't down every first for from get getting girl going good got guy had happenedhas have hehear her him his ifininto isitjust know like little make man more never new nonot nothing ofonone only other out people say she should sotake tell than that the their them there they thing through time totwo upwas were what when who will with without woman would you you're your WARNING!! This product contains offensive material, strong language, insulting jokes, ethnic jokes, sexist jokes, dirty jokes, rude jokes, gross jokes, and quotations. It may not be suitable for children. We have attempted to categorize jokes so that you may filter out jokes which you don't like, but we take no responsibility for errors. QUIT NOW if you think you may be offended. Search aborted! Hit for a joke. Hippo Jokes and Quotes \JOKES\JOKES.MEN Can't find resource file! \JOKES\manualOriginal Disk must be in drive A: to run Menu resource not found! Hippo Jokes and Quotes Version 1.0 All rights reserved. Copyright 1985 by: Hippopotamus Software, Inc. 985 University Ave. Suite 12 Los Gatos, CA 95030 (408) 395-3190 Concept by Wendell Brown Programmed by Clint Ballard  0123456789ABCDEF[INTERNAL ERROR 1][BAD FORMAT] ^C readwritezero bytes written ==> disk full? file system i/o error: write fault read fault write protected insufficient space number = ( H  =PX qf/<#5 n PN.HH.NPX qgR/. .HH".x A P(HH". A"Ҁ A(HH".RҀ/aPN^Nur`2r`.r`*r`&r`"r`"<`"<W`"<`"< |x#9Nu0/NuNV .p#9 @g . ` .N^NuNV .H#9 @g . ` .N^Nu /bp`pNu\5BSZjl U W  QS#%<>FN&(35.0DF !!"What would you like help with? 1) General Help 2) Geographic Information 3) Historical Information 4) Unit Conversions 5) Sports 6) Language 7) Science 8) Awards and Prizes 9) Miscellaneous$19 "$&In general, the Hippo Computer Almanac should be able to answer English questions which fall into it's range of topics. If you are unsure about how to ask for a specific type of information, or don't know if the Almanac has the information you need, use the other HELP categories to get examples of questions and to see exactly what information is here. Type "quit" to exit the program. Some things you may need special help with are: 1) How to Ask for Information 2) Adding/Updating/Deleting Information 3) Printing$13The Almanac only understands numbers and numerical data if it is entered digitally rather than typed in the long form (e.g., "24" instead of "twenty-four"). Do not put a comma in numbers larger than 1000. Some abbreviations of input are allowed, such as two-letter abbreviations for state names, and "km" for kilometer. More information on entering data for unit conversions can be found in the unit conversion HELP category. Questions needn't always be fully grammatical (e.g. - "Academy Joan Crawford" will be understood).$You can add and delete one line of information at a time from the Almanac simply by typing "remember (data)" and "forget (data)." For instance, if you type "remember Debbie 555-4321", the Almanac will store that data and give it back every time you type "Debbie." The data is not saved to disk until you type "quit." Type "forget Debbie" to delete it. Also, to update the Almanac's location (where it thinks it is), type "update location" followed by your US state or non-US country. Then, pick the city nearest you. Type "where" to get its current location.$The Almanac can send text to the printer at the same time that it is being sent to the screen. To turn this feature on, type "Printer on", and to turn it off type "Printer off."$The Almanac has the following categories of geographic information: 1) Distances and Locations 2) Populations and Sizes 3) Money and Telephone Codes 4) Miscellaneous$14You can ask the distance between any two places. The answer is given as the air distance in statute miles. What is the distance from Los Angeles to Denver? How far is Japan from Canada? What is the distance from here to Jakarta? Also, you can ask where any city or country is, and what cities are in a given state or country. Where is Somalia? What cities are in Alabama?$The Almanac knows the population of cities, states, and countries. It also knows the area (in square miles) of states and countries. How big is Texas? What is the population of Paris?$The Almanac can tell you what money is used in a country, and how much it is worth in U.S. Dollars. What type of money is used in Brazil? How much is a Mexico peso worth? Note that it will understand "Mexico", but not "Mexican." The Almanac knows the area codes for US states and cities, and the telephone country code for many other countries. What is the phone code for Britain? What is the area code in Hawaii? Where is area code 607?$The Almanac knows the capital of states and countries. It also knows the two-letter postal abbreviation for states, and the major zip code for US cities. What is the capital of Indonesia? What is the postal abbreviation for Maine? What is the zip code in Duluth?$The Almanac knows about the Presidents and Vice Presidents of the US, and about events that happened on any day of the year. Example historical questions: Who was President in 1790? Who was the 17th Vice President? When was Lincoln President? What happened on August 4?$The Almanac can convert units of time, mass, distance, volume, charge, energy, etc. A simple example is "convert 10 meters to feet." Enter numbers with the digits 0-9 rather than spelling them out. Abbreviations such as "km" and "sec" can be used. For comple&x conversions such as square inches or miles per hour, use '/' to divide and '-' to multiply. For instance, type "convert inch-inch to foot-foot" to convert square inches to square feet, or "convert km/liter to mile/gal" to convert km per liter to miles per gallon. Compound words such as "metric ton" should have the space taken out ("metricton").$Almanac has sports information in the following areas: 1) World Series Winners 2) Super Bowl Winners 3) Basketball Champions 4) Olympic Information$14The Almanac knows the winner, loser, and game count of the World Series for each year. Example question: Who won the World Series in 1923?$The Almanac knows the winner, loser, and score of the Super Bowl or NFL and AFL Playoffs for each year. Example questions: Who won the Super Bowl in 1973? When did Dallas win the Super Bowl? Who won the NFL Championship in 1942?$The Almanac knows the winner and loser of the National Basketball Association Playoffs and Conference Championships. Example questions: Who won the NBA Playoffs in 1966? Who won the NBA Eastern Conference Championship in 1972? When did the Celtics win the NBA title? The Olympic Information contains additional basketball information.$The Almanac knows who the Gold Medal winner was for Olympic events and the location of each Olympiad. Example questions: Who won the floor exercises in the 1968 Olympics? Where did the 1932 Olympic Games take place? When did Nadia win the Olympic Gold Medal?$The Almanac can translate words to foreign languages and help with tricky word spellings. For example, you can tell Almanac to "Translate hello to Swahili" or "Translate January to French." The Almanac can translate days of the week, months of the year, the numbers one through ten, "yes", "no", "hello", "goodbye", "please", and "thanks" to practically any language. Simply say "translate five" to get a list of languages. To get the correct spelling of a commonly misspelled word, simply type "spell mispel", for example. Almanac will respond with the closest matching word it knows about.$The Almanac knows about the size, gravity, length of day and year, distance, and density of all of the planets in our solar system. For example: How big is Jupiter? How strong is the gravity on Neptune? How long is a day on Venus? Also, it knows about many geometric and mathematical formulas. For example: What is the formula for the volume of a sphere? What is the formula for the circumference of a circle?$The Almanac knows about the winners of Academy Awards and Nobel Prizes. Example questions: Who won the Nobel Prize for peace in 1929? When did Pearl Buck win the Nobel Prize? Who won the Academy Award for Best Director in 1979? When did Rocky win the Academy Award?$The miscellaneous Almanac categories are: 1) Toll Free Numbers 2) Calories of Various Foods 3) Time 4) Loan Calculations$14The Almanac knows many toll free numbers in a variety of business categories. Example questions: What is the number for IBM? What are some toll-free phone numbers for hotels? What is the number for American Airlines? What are some numbers for rent-a-cars?$The Almanac knows the caloric content of most common foods. Use general food names instead of food-type or brand names (e.g. - look for beef rather than hamburger). Example question: How many calories are in a banana?$The Almanac will respond to the following types of questions about time: What is the time difference between London and New York? How many days are there from May 15, 1985 to July 4, 1987? What time is it in Tokyo? Time?$The Almanac will perform loan calculations, figuring the interest or payment on a given loan. You need to tell the Almanac the amount of the loan, the amount of interest, and the total time period of the loan. For example: What is the interest on a 15%, $7000, 10 year loan? What is the payment on a $3000, 4 year, 2% monthly loan?$~sc --Press the Number of Your Choice (or Q to quit)-- ( H  \8 HN#t../<@N6XJfN`/9tNu o HpNu o /fpL.NuNVB.B` . @/Hn NxPHn NjXABB`B`D n (<".Ё @pЮ n"(8Ҁ AHH/NXApR n (<".Ё @p(".eApBHnpHn N*PJmAR.o APR n (@Ю @JfDR . @JfJ.fp`NB`4A.f .0 @//<6 n PNPR . @JfpN^NuNV-n`R nJf n "nR . R @Jf .N^NuNVB .Ю @". Ү Af .RЮ @Jfp`" .Ю @HH". Ү AHHN^NuNV-n . R @ .R"@f .N^NuNVB .RЮ @JfS-n` .SЮ @ .Ю"@SJn n .N^NuNVB`R .R @Jf .N^NuNV np-@B` .Ю @ .Ю"@R .m .Ю @B .N^NuNVB`D .Ю @". Ү Ag$ .Ю @HH". Ү AHH`R .mpN^NuNVB`R .R @Jf .N^NuNV-nB` n "nR RR .e .N^NuNV/.a-@. aX-@B`"/. .Ю//. a JgR .R".m .".op` .N^NuNV-nl .D-@B/< /.N P0".Ү AR/< HnN` XPJnJl .Ю @-R . Ю @B/. aXN^NuNVB/.aXS-@`> .Ю @HH-@ .Ю @ .Ю"@ nRS .mN^NuNVB`R .Ю @HH/NXJf-| .Ю @ +g .Ю @ -f .RЮ @ +fp`p-@B`2/< /.Nx P".Ү AHHЁ0-@R .Ю @HH/N XJf/./.NJPN^NuNVB`* .Ю @HH/N`X".Ү AR .Ю @Jf .N^NuNVB`* .Ю @HH/NRX".Ү AR .Ю @Jf .N^Nur`2r`.r`*r`&r`"r`"<`"<W`"<`"< |h=Nu0/NuNV .p= @g . ` .N^NuNV .H= @g . ` .N^Nu /bp`pNuNVH<*< .lDD&". lDD( lB@H@40H@0H@`6 l$//Np PlS JlDLCircumference of a circle = 2 * pi * r (or pi * d)Area of a circle = pi * r**2Area of an ellipse = pi * a * bArea of a triangle = 0.5 * a * bArea of a square = a**2Area of a rectangle = l * wSurface area of a cube = 6 * a**2Surface area of a sphere = 4 * pi * r**2Surface area of a cylinder = (2 * pi * r * h) + (2 * pi * r**2)Surface area of a cone = pi * r * sqrt(r**2 + h**2)Volume of a cube = a**3Volume of a sphere = 4/3 * pi * r**3Volume of a cylinder = pi * r**2 * hVolume of a cylinder = (pi * r**2 * h)/3sin A = tan A * cos Acos A = cot A * sin Atan A = sin A * sec Acot A = cos A * csc Asec A = csc A * tan Acsc A = sec A * cot ACentripetal force: a = (v**2)/RGravitational force: F=(G*m1*m2)/(R**2) where m=masses,R=radius,G=6.6732*10E-11(N-(m**2)/(kg**2))Force: F = ma (force = mass * acceleration)Energy: E[Energy in joules] = m[mass in kg]*(c**2) [c=speed of light]Quadratic eq: a(t*t) + bt + c = 0 t = (-b +- sqr( b**2 - 4*a*c))/2*aPermutations of n objects taken r at a time = n! / (n-r)!2 * pi [radians] = 360 [degrees] = 400 [grads]sin theta = opposite side / hypotenusecos theta = adjacent side / hypotenusetan theta = opposite side / adjacentmoney: I [interest earned] = P[principal] * R[annual rate] * T[time in years]loan: due = monthly payment * (1-(1+i[mo. interest])**(k[# payments made]-n[total payments]))/iloan: monthly payment = P[princ.] * (1 - ((1 + i[monthly interest])**-n[number payments])) / ilog[b] (x*y) = log[b] (x) + log[b] (y)log[b] (x/y) = log[b] (x) - log[b] (y)log[b] (x**n) = n * log[b] (x)current: I [current in amps] = Q [charge in C] / T [time in seconds]ohms law: E[volts] = I[amps] * R[resistan+ce in ohms]resistance series: R = r1 + r2 + r2 ...resistance in parallel: R = 1 / ( (1/r1) + (1/r2) + (1/r3) ...)capacitor parallel: C = c1 + c2 + c2 ...capacitor series: C = 1 / ( (1/c1) + (1/c2) + (1/c3) ...)Power [watts] = work[joules] / time [seconds]Power [watts] = V[volts] * I[current in amps]Power [watts] = I*I [current] * R[resistance in ohms]Power [watts] = V*V[volts] / R [resistance in ohms]wire resistance: R=p[AL=17,CU=10.4]*l[lngth in ft]/A[area (10guage=10380,14g=4107,20g=1022)]B [flux density in G] = psi (Mx) / A [area in cm2]Q [capacitor charge] = C [charge in C] * V [volts]decibels db= 10 * log ( POWERout/POWERin )decibels db = 6 db per digital bitpi = 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937511e = 2.71828182845904523536028747135266249775724709369996sqr(2) = 1.41421356237309504880168872420969807856967187537Euler's constant = 0.57721566490153286061golden ratio = 1.6180339887498948482045868c [speed of light in vacuum] = 2.99792458 x 10**8 meters/seca [fine structure constant] = 0.0072973506h [planks constant] = 6.626176 x 10E-34 J/HzNa [Avogadro constant] = 6.022045 * 10E23 /molwater weighs ~~8.344 lbs/galloncement weighs ~~170 lbs/cubic footmaple wood weighs ~~40 lbs/cubic footmarble weighs ~~165 lbs/cubic footpaper weighs ~~50 lbs/cubic footsteel weighs ~~ 7.8 gm/ccaluminum weighs ~~ 2.7 gm/cchelium weighs ~~ 0.178 gm/literhydrogen weighs ~~0.0899 gm/litergold weighs ~~ 19.7 gm/ccspeed of sound (at 20 C,10% rel. hum, 1250 Hz, sea level) = 1127 ft/secammonia = NH3acetone = C3H6Oglycerol = C3H8O3water = H2Oethane = C2H6methane = CH4sulfuric acid = H2SO4nitric acid = HNO3methanol = CH4Opropylene = C3H6formaldehyde = CH2Osulfur dioxide = SO2DeMorgan's law: not(p*q) = not(p) + not(q)DeMorgan's law: not(p+q) = not(p) * not(q)fibonacci series = 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21 ....prime numbers = 2,3,5,7,11,13,17,19,23,29,31,37,41,43,47,53,59 .roman numerals: 1=I, 5=V, 10=X, 50=L, 100=C, 500=D, 1000=M, 5000=Vfactorial: (example 7! = 7*6*5*4*3*2*1 = 5040)solar cells: at 8% eff., produce about .42V at 1.3A in 10cmX10cm~sc ( H  $8$N#&../<&N6XJfN`/9&Nu o HpNu o /fpL.NuNV< n/(8NXB`(/</<$ n (8Ю/N R/<$ n (8Ю/NFP-@lB`HB`A . .BR mA . $!y$R m|nnB-n` n (<".Ё @p n"(8Ҁ-AB-n lD .0$ @/N./. .$ @/N Jf .R-@JflJg-n`R`/</./<$N Jf -|`L/</./agFDgRNu.HGODfJfJgRGSGgNuaJk(Fg$Jg `Jk8g4 <`>Jf Jj4XO`HGfl< H@NFH@ b <JjTB`BBXO`NVH?aaLN^NuNVH?aaLN^NuNVH?aaLN^NuNVH?aadLN^NuNVH?aaLN^NuNVHaa?@.LN^/_ NwNV .". @N^NuNVHaVa`FNVHaDa`4NVHa2a`"NVHa a`NVHaaaaPLN^NuNV .@N^NuNV .". @aa N^NuNVH?aat`FNVH?aa^`4NVH?aa``"NVH?aa0`NVH?aaZ n LN^NuNVHa~a`>NVHana`.NVHa^a`NVHaNa`NVHa>aaa^ n LN^Nu .". $.&.Nu n "$. &.Nu n"a`a$. &.NuNVHx".aBa`NVHx".a,aa`.NVHx".aa`NVHx".aaaLN^NuNVHx .". aJal`NVHx .". a0a\aLN^NuNVHx .". a a.`NVHx .". aaaLN^NuNVHx .". aaaLN^NuNVH8 .". aa`NVH8 .". aaa`LN^NuNV`NV". .N^NuNV .". 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Ḷs,US a. Rigg,US e. Br,US h. M,US g. CƝ,US m. Gg,US v. Ds,US p. McCɺ,US p. McCɺ,USi. Kйr,W. Gi. E-Kйr,W. G s. Gے,US m. Kg,US j. Cr,USi. Ka,USSR s. B,Ca g.E.Sld,USh. Jon,Sne. Adrz,SncѼe Pk,US W,US p. Dj,US ld S,US m. W,US mu L,US mu L,USj. Cap,Mexo r. Webߟ,US r. Webߟ,USk. Di B,Ilyk. Di B,Ilyk. Di B,Ilyf. Hoffn,E. G g. Ḷs,USg. Jon,Sns. Fry-C,Drk յ S,USiza Pk,USdhy,Poy,USd. Poyn-Hl,USca Ds,US檩 McCɺ,US檩 McCɺ,USgd Kйr,W. G sy Bh,USm. Duki,Czhulka K,Sne. Vekvska,USSRm. J,E. G zu Ji,C 豚 Ss y Ruiz,US Lj B,US c Js,US Hahn,USr. Wr,S. Aa lph Cig,US c. Pdo,USh. Aams,Bp. Ws,Ca e TƆ,US j O,US h.Drd,US l. Rigo,USbobby Mw,USn Hy,E. G bob H,US *J H,USry Bzov,USSRsy Cwfd,Tid n Wl,B Les,USiza Robn,USs. Wz,PƆd n Sp,USf. Bn-Ko,Nhm. Jkn,A愩b. Ch,A愩l Rudph,US wyǩ Ty,US wyǩ Ty,USr. S⑟,E. Ga. Rhr,W. Gl. Kdtye,USSR*Elyn Afd,USw.B. Tewksby,US Hahn,US r. Kr,Ca lph Cig,USn Woodҿ,USjkn Sz,USp. Ws,Ca e TƆ,US j O,US l Pn,USa. Snfld,USbobby Mw,USo Bri,Ily nry Cr,US me S,USry Bzov,USSRd. Que,Jpo Ma,Ily *Cl Les,USf.Bn-Ko,Nh.m. Jkn,A愩tty Ch,A愩l Rudph,USh McGue,USi. Ksze,PƆdr. S⑟,E. Gb. Et,E. Gb. Wo,E. G*V. Bs-Hooks,US Lj B,US xey Lg,USrry Hln,Bw. H,Bs Rd,USl Rudd,S. Aa Lid,B y Bbi,US m Cey,US Ws,US Wt,J g. Rn,Js Jks,US ˰ Das,US Mi LЍe,US *L E,US＞t Mews,USa. Juѻ,Cu v. Mk,USSR zo Ba,UStty Ch,A愩 c. Bn,Fмem. Zeh,E. Ga Szcka,PƆd Ko,E. G*V. B-Hooks,US e. F,A愩 a. Tye,Bj Lightbody,USln Sprd,USq j Mh,US Hl,Bdgs Lo,Bdgs Lo,B t,Hpn,Bjohn Woodruff,USl Wtfld,USl Wtfld,US Lj C׾y,USp. S,New Zp. S,New Zr. Do,A愩 d Wt,USa. Juѻ,Cue Ott,B*J. Cruz,Bzl. R-Bs,G.l. Sv,USSR n Pr,B m.M,USh. F,W. Ga Kazka,USSR*N. Ozko,USSR d. M,Rdž e. F,A愩e. Btt,Bj Lightbody,USln Sprd,USa. Jkn,B Hl,Bavo N,F r L,Fluigi B,Ilyjk Lo,N. Zh. EҒ,Snj. B,Luxbrgn Dey,Iѳh. Et,A愩p. S,N. Z*K. Keo,Kya p. Va,Fjohn Wr,N. Zٌߩn Coe,Bٌߩn Coe,Bluda Bga,USSRa Kazka,USSRa Kazka,USSRa Dɮ,Ily*Ma Pul,Rdžh. Keh,Fj. Gum,Fмeavo N,Fﶫ Ra,Fl. Lehn,Fg. Hot,Fg. Reiff,Bgiume. Zok,Czhvr Ks,USSRm. Hrg,N. Z bob Sul,USm. Gm̗,T谩 l. V,Fn Fr,Bm. Yifr,Ep*Sd Aa,Moch. Keh,Favo N,Fﶫ Ra,Favo N,Fj. Kocski,PƆdi. Sn,F Zok,Czh Zok,Czhvdr Ks,USSRp. Bkov,USSR bly Mls,US n. Tu,Kya l. V,F l. V,Fm. Yifr,Ep t Co,Ily s. L̠,Gљe m. T,Fмe is Hks,US john H,USk. McAh,S. Aah. Keh,Fa. Sn,Fa.B. El Qui,Fмej. Za,Arĭa k. S,Jand. Caa,Arĭae. Zok,Czha. Mimn,Fмea. Bika,Epa. Bika,Ep m. WƖ,Ep k Sן,USw. Crpski,E. Gw. Crpski,E. G*Cs Los,Ptulw.B. Tewksby,US rry Hn,US s B,US k Loǰ,US mɣn Tr,USrd D. Bgy,BՍ T,Iѳ g Hn,US y Con,US s Moe,US g Das,US g Das,US x Cawy,USd Hy,Bj. Akii-bua,Ua *Edn Mʠ,USvƲr Bk,E. G n Mʠ,US *Jo Bo,US Lj Cs,USn KОzn,USk Su,USf Sn,USk Kly,USe. Tn,Ca Ky,USs. Atkn,S. Aa ɤ Sg,US f Tow,US m Pr,US h. Drd,US e C,US e C,US y JȠ,US w. Dan,US dy Mbn guy Dr,Fмet. M貱,E. G*Ror Kgd,USa. Ehrrdt,E. Gj. Sr,E. G*V. Kǰo,USSRb. Fzld-Bwn,US*N. El Ml,Mocp. Hods,B v. Ra,Ft. Lka,Fv. I-HƷ,Fv. I-HƷ,Ft. Sjd,Snh. Aڞfr,USs Bڟ,Bz. Krzyszkoak,PƆd Ro,Bgium Blwt,Kya k. Keo,Kya*A. Grud,Snb. Mowski,PƆd j. Kɯ,KyanysԆynԆynuSuSuSSRe. Ge. Ge. Ge. Gոa㟳szzuSԆynrkuSw. GuSye. Ge. Ge. Gye. GոaոabulauSSRոabulae. Gոae. Ge. Ge. Ge. Ge. GuSbulae. Gոac. n Oy,Gk. Taks,Hryk. Taks,Hrys. Ps,Rdž w. McMn,USp. Lsvuop,Fj. Zadski,PƆdj. Zadski,PƆd*N. K,E. Gs. Iso K,Jan t. U,Snc.E.Vquez,Pu hu Br,USp. Lsvuoo,Fa. Gt,USSRv. Mkk,Fg. Kykh,USSRr. Sr,Snv. P,E. G*A. Mv,USSR xu Hfg,Cp. Kohn,W. Gl. H,Hury j Kka,Czh*Ho J Li,N. Kɘk. Sezek,W. G"k. V,Hry,d H. Hlft,E. Grd Etzl,USwu Xjaozu,C a Tm,Ca t Spg,USpi Hee,FмennnlgiumuguuguyhryuSSRyugʳahryhryϳe. Gczha. Haj,Hry js,BDe Hy,Hrys Dls,USdu Kamoku,USdu Kamoku,USjohn Wesmu,USjohn Wesmu,USy. Miyazaki,Jan fc Ck,US lr R,US cr SƠ,USj HҒs,A愩j. Dett,A愩 d. SƳ,USm. Wn,A愩 rk Spz,USj. Mtgǟy,USj. Wo,E. G*Rowdy Gs,USf. Dk,A愩l Bibey,US l Lk,USba O,US M,USh. Mnoek,Nh.g An,Drkk Szo,Hrywn Fr,A愩wn Fr,A愩wn Fr,A愩rgo J H,US ؽ Nen,USk. E,E. G*B. Ke,E. G"re Sif,US d Ncy Hogژd,USnry Tr,Bg. Hoddgn,Ca Ԇ Rs,USjohn Wesmu,USa. Zɬ,ArĭacѼe Cb,US jk Ma,US m S,USjn Boeux Fмemy Re,A愩my Re,A愩 d SƳ,US a Bn,USb. Coor,A愩 b. Goo,USv. Skov,USSR*Geɤ DiC,US ץ Nɜi,US ץ Nɜi,US M,USh. Mnoek,Nh. n Cs,USv. Gum Hryl. Cpp,A愩c. v Stza,US g Dul,USbah Mey,USچe Gld,A愩a Thu,E. G D,E. G*Tiffy Con,US B,Grry Hebr,US rn K,US rn K,US ɤ Koj,USm. Kiyoka,Jan f Kf,US n S,US y. Oyaka,USd. Te,A愩d. Te,A愩r. M,E. Gr. M,E. G *Jim Nab,US b. B,Sn Ғ Cey,US syb Br,USrje B,Nӆds r Hm,US Sff,Nӆdsk H,Drkj. Hn,S. Aaj. Gnm,B ly B,US y Fg,US ke Hl,US a Be,USu. Rhr,E. G*R. Re,E. G㟠a Aws,US f. HƸn,B w. B,Gh. Mm,Sn Ս Sln,USy. Tsa,Jany. Tsa,Jan t. Ho,Janjeph Vdu,USj. Das,A愩m. Fuka,Jan w. Muin,USj O'B҆,A愩f. Moz,Mexo john H,US d. Wk,B r. Zul,USSRcr Das,Calucy Mn,Bl SЖr,Gc. Ds,A愩h. Mae,Janl V,Nӆdse Szely,Hryu,Hap,W. Ga. Lsgh,Bg. PzuÑiko,USSR ڇ Whn,USb. Wtfld,A愩m. Kʦ,USSRl. Kh,USSR Otne,Ca d. Rٶ,US m. Spz,US m. Vol,USp. Ard,Sn*M G,W.G ڜy Mn,USlyn Sur,US ڇ Sur,USl. McCs,A愩 m. Aoki,Jank. E,E. G c. Msu*My T. Mgr,US Rh,USs Hkx,US g. L,Sn r. S急n,USa. Sidɞko,USSR*Ax B,CadȻ Va,US cua Kb,YS g. N,A愩u. Tr,E. G*P. Sir,E. Gy Clks,USnuSuSuSuS㟳suShryеauSuSuSuSuS *E. GuS*USj Gef,A愩r. M,E. Gr. M,E. G jim Nab,USs. Wr,Hry *Rk Cey,US l.Wn,US m. Be,USu. Rhr,E. G*R. Re,E. GjƆ De Ror,Nh.m Yzyk,US a Ty,USn Bry,A愩 Rob,US rk Spz,US m. Br,USs. Fnko,USSR*J Sn,A愩a. Kok,Nӆds k. Moe,USa. PƳ,E. Gi. Gesr,E. G*My Mgr,US d. McKz,USn. Tui,Jan j. H,USd. Goodw. B*S Ldqut,USd. Bjov,Yugʳa 㟭e Cr,USh. An,E. Gu. Ger,E. G*P V Sn,Nh. Wn,A愩 rk Spz,US b. F,USs. Kopakov,USSR*M G,W. Gbah Mey,USچe Gld,A愩k. E,E. G*B. Ke,E. G ry W,USs Hkok,USgr L,Sn*Ax Bn,Ca cua Kb,USe Gld,A愩*Tcy Cks,US d. Mey,USk. Rhmr,USp. Tur,E. G m. Fd,A愩*Tiffy Con,USnеauSuSuSjanjanuSuSеauSuSuSuSuSuSSR*US h. Tr,Bg. Hodgn,Ca Ԇ Rs,USa. Cn,A愩 Bg,Snk. Ka,Jan n. Ta,Jan j McLe,US fd K,US m. Re,A愩j. Kds,A愩r. Wd,A愩 a Bn,US a Bn,US b. Goo,US*V. Sikov,USSR O'BҞ,US 豚 Ss 豚 Ss 豚 Ss 豚 Ss 豚 Ss 豚 Ss 豠 SsuSSR 豚 Ssyugʳa 豚 SsuSSRuSSR 豚 Ssc Rodquez,Vezuagyogy Geo,Hryjɤ Hez,Cuڅ Sabyv,USSR ul Gz,US g. Fn,US f.De Go,US f. La B,USa. Kocs,Hryi. Es,Hry w. Kr,Gp. Pez,Arĭa n. Boks,USt. Spks,B g. Tɒ,Hryf. Atzi,Ilyr. Deldo,Mexog. Kv,Bula o Rdph,USr Lv,Bulae McCry,US o.L. Kk,US a. Ts,Bc. Wr,S. Aaw. S,S. Aav. T,Ilyh. Gwye,Ca u. Sgo,Ily t. Ck,Hryp. Hn,Fw. Behѽt,W. Go. Ggyev,USSRt. Sak,Janv. Sokov,USSR o. Mz,Cugu Yg Jo,N. Kɘju Hez,Cu m. Tr,US o.L.Kk,USr.K. Gn,B p.F,Fмe j. Flds,USl. V Kn,Nӆdsc. Robdo,Arĭao. Cos,Arĭae. Fɹi,Ilyj. Z,Czh.v. Seov,USSR f. M,Ilys. Sk,USSRa. Rƕn,Mexob. Koov,USSR a. H,Curu Fk,E. G m. Tr,US h.J. SͿ,US f. GА,B s. Mʍrg,USh. Nen,Drk c. Oӆ,Ilyl. S,S. Aai. Hgi,Hryg. Dy,S. Aaa. Bog,Ilyr. McT,Bk. Pazdzr,PƆdj. Grudzn,PƆd r. Hs,USj. Szczeki,PƆd rd Das,US l H,Cu p. Wr,US c. Adks,USv. Eoi҆,USSRb. Nek,Czh. j. Kui,PƆd j. Kui,PƆd r. Ss,USsur R Leȇd,USiz O,Ily j. Pe,US a. Yg,USt. Sir,Caj. D,Bgiume. Mɣn,N. Z e. Fly,US s. Suo,F j. Tɸ,Czh.z. Chy,PƆd n. L,Rdžg. Bni,Ilym. Kprzyk,PƆdm. WƲ,E. G e. Ca,Cuj. Bhfd,E. G a. Al,Cu rk Bѳ,USl. Papp,Hryl. Papp,Hry w. McCle,USm. Kprzyk,PƆd b. L,USSRd. Ktys,W. Gj. Rybki,PƆd a. Mz,Cu f. Te,US c. M,USj. Dgs,B h. Mn,B h. Mn,B p. Tʏ,Ily c. B,USj. DΊx,Fмel. Papp,Hryfyd P,USg. Ctkov,USSR e. Cok,USv. Poμnko,USSRc. Fn,Bv. Lv,USSR Spks,US je Gez,Cuj.-S. Sn,S. Kɘ e. E,USh. Ml,Bv. Ao,Arĭad. Cߞs,S. Aar. Mt,Fмeg. Hr,S. Aa rl L,US j Boyd,US i Cy,US c. P,Ilyd. Pozdak,USSRm. Pv,Yugʳa Spks,USs. K,Yugʳaa. Jic,Yugʳa s. Br,USa. Oldm,Br. Rawn,Bo. v Pɉ,Nyr. Jo,Arĭas. Lo,Arĭa h. R,Gr. Igۈ,Arĭa e. S,US p. Rr,USf. De P,Ily joe Fzr,US ɤ Fɝ,US t. S,Cu t. S,Cu t. S,Cu h. Tln,UStyѶ Biggs,USk. Hoff,Drk s. Smo,Fe. De,USSRa. Sa,USSRl. Khdiuk,USSRl. Pae,USSRy. Ryabska,USSRc. Zzow,E. G*B. F,E. Ga. A,Sng. HЖtzky,Ag. Fdk,Sng. Fdk,Sng. Fdk,Sne. Hn,Drkr. Pn,Sn m. Hz,Hry*A. Snko,USSRr. Hm,E. Gr. Hm,E. Ga. Tmpn,N. Z f. Amy,Caj. Hok,Czhj. Hok,Czhl. Rtn,Rdž j. P,Hryj. Est,W. G t. T,Hry*I. Pza,Rdžm. Ljuk,Yugʳal. Luv,Rdžu. E,W. Geg Hn,E. G v. Di,Rdžv. Pfo,USSRi. Fg,N. Zѭrd Ein,E. Ga. Rogov,USSRs. Pekn,USSRrry Cn,Caw. Hoffn,R. A,E. Gko,Vogdov,USSRfn,Vki,Hryljuk,Noc,Yugʳaa. K߆s,Gљe d BdȾ,Fмer. Les,S. Aah. Snqut,Sna. B,Fмeh. Hn,Drk a. Pa,Ilyr. Crīr,Fмej. Bat,Fмea. Noy,Bgium e. B,Ilyv. Kapov,USSR m. Z,Ilyp. Vi,Ilyh. Kulr,Nӆdsb. Jon,Sns. 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Enter the current time (e.g. 2:36 PM): Enter the current date (e.g. 10/15/85): The Hippo Computer Almanac Version 1.1 cracked by Was (Not Was). ) By Rick Oliver Information contained in the Almanac has been collected from a variety of sources. The data has been carefully checked and is believed to be correct; however, no responsibility is assumed for inaccuracies. For updates, contact: Hippopotamus Software, Inc. 985 University Ave., Suite 12 Los Gatos, CA 95030 408-395-3190 ALMANAC\listcharrCannot read the file 'listchar' ALMANAC\funcsrCannot read the file 'funcs' ALMANAC\useinfr+ALMANAC\chsrI can't open the file chs. Error reading function. Error loading function.   <|  D 5 @$; >ITV hxd&{H0P,d`0t ,x$\ $x |* &GX /n4 D  l /%D bad list ~d in citem 1bad list ~d in getint Good morningafternoonevening. Today is happen bootbad list ~d in getfloat  !"#'()/1349=>IJOSTUX`abcitu{|~  "&)+-./12346;<=?@ABMNOPVXYZ[_cdejmouvwx| "&) DIRTU`fhlw~ (+-39<EH;4 #(+.158=AHJND<< ;*1L'*'C'^)|/%(Bؼ&"2$8017$پfghViRjj(;j:j\h$P+.nod8THoaananddoforinisarewasswereofonorthetowhatwhopleasesmenwomenSorry, I don't know what you are asking for. I didn't understand that. That doesn't make any sense to me. I can't figure out what you want. Still nothing. Maybe you should try typing 'Help'. I still don't understand. Try typing 'Help'. Sorry, I don't have that information. Sorry, but I can't answer your question. I can't find any information on that. I don't know. eetootesumusiesasshole|bitch|cunt|dammit|damn|fuck|goddammit|goddamn|shit readwritezero bytes written ==> disk full? file system i/o error: write fault read fault write protected insufficient space number = ????!TD-?asinasin: DOMAIN error acosacos: DOMAIN error @0'U ?.@p*@T@ѠjA@Iv?@Mz~v@|k8@ "^J@>@@Iv?ڂy3@PO3??!TD-??!TD-??!TD-?!TD- !TD-@ !TD-@.B9G .B9 powpow: DOMAIN error ?!TD-A?_0mȃ??@ "K>P$c*>?Ucossin: TLOSS error "??sqrtsqrt: DOMAIN error B"Fn CAy7Aׄ@È@Y @$ C@@$@$@$@$@$?@$@$?D*?K*?>3c U?D \(?(Q?.B9G@.B9>P??Ge+?0+\a expexpDV)@0bJ P?AՀKg@s&~ xGG ??栞f;?+\a ?0?{&loglog: DOMAIN error loglog: SING error ( H  *  $(        " "   (  $       $    $                    $          "   BHIPPO PRODUCTS FOR THE ATARI ST The Hippopotamus Atari ST products take advantage of the system's mouse- based GEM environment. The products are designed with pull-down menus, windows, helpful on-line manuals and they exploit the large amount of RAM available on the Atari ST for increased speed. Hippopotamus' 12 new Atari ST products include: Hippo Word, Hippo Concept, HippoSimple, Hippo Disk Utilities, HippoBackgammon, HippoSpell, Hippo RAMdisk, Hippo Computer Almanac, Hippo Jokes & Quotes, HippoArt I, Hippo EPROM Burner and HippoClean. HippoWord is the most professional mouse-based word processor available for the Atari ST. HippoWord includes features such as multiple fonts, variable point size characters, variable attributes (e.g. boldface, outline), left/right justification, rulers and column editing. HippoWord works conveniently with HippoConcept and HippoSpell and retails for $89.95. Hippo Concept is the orginal Atari ST idea processor for business plans, term papers, speeches, proposals, books and other documents. HippoConcept helps users organize thoughts, create drafts and expand each chapter individually. HippoConcept layers text to hide chapter details beneath chapter summaries and makes documents clearer and better organized. HippoConcept works with HippoWord and HippoSpell and retails for $89.95. HippoSimple is a powerful, flexible, easy-to-use database for the Atari ST. HippoSimple lets users keep track of information such as business contacts, sales prospects, phone numbers, and club membership lists in addition to budgets and accounts receivable and payable. The database features an easy-to-use mouse-based screen editor, sort (up to 16 levels), merge, data compression, mathematical sum, and over 10 programmable commands. HippoSimple performs advanced record select with up to 16 programmable relationships, and can be used with any size mailing labels, envelopes, or letterhead. The database provides predesigned templates and the ability to design custom templates. HippoSimple comes with an on-line manual and retails for $49.95. The Hippo Disk Utilities allow Atari ST users to recover deleted or lost files, reconstruct damaged disks, change file attributes, manage files on disk, and edit RAM, tracks, sectors and files. Compatible with floppies and hard disks, the Hippo Disk Utilities come with a helpful on-line manual which contains a disk map and memory map. Hippo Disk Utilities is available for a retail price of $49.95. HippoBackgammon uses a sophisticated algorithm to allow Atari ST users to play challenging tournament backgammon at levels of difficulty ranging from beginner to expert. The game also demonstrates Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) theory by allowing the user to adjust hundreds of numbers to change computer's playing personality. The user can also set up two different player personalities and make the Atari ST play itself: HippoBackgammon will display the two robots' plays in full-color, animated graphics. HippoBackgammon uses a black and white or color monitor, keeps track of wins and losses on disk and retails for $39.95. HippoSpell is the fastest spelling corrector available for the Atari ST. It's compatible with Atari ST editors and word processors including Express, STWriter, and GEMWrite. HippoSpell provides comprehensive word frequency statistics, a 30,000-word dictionary (including prefixes and suffixes) and a user-defined word dictionary (up to 25,000 words). HippoSpell suggests correct spellings and comes with a helpful on-line manual for $39.95. The Hippo RAMdisk runs Atari ST programs up to 100 times faster than floppies, and 10 times faster than hard disks. The user selects from 1 kilobyte to 4 megabytes of RAM to be used as an ultra-fast disk drive. RAMdisk automatically appears upon boot-up and can be used simultaneously with floppies and hard disks. The Hippo RAMdisk comes with a helpful on-line manual and retails for $34.95. The Hippo Computer Almanac contains more than 35,000 useful, intriguing facts and uses an A.I. parser to understand and answer questions in plain English. This combination game/reference tool for the Atari ST includes information such as a toll-free number directory, world time zones, area codes, geography, loan calculations, metric conversions, calories of foods, historical trivia, academy awards, Olympic winners, World Series, Super Bowl, NBA and NFL statistics and much more. The Hippo Computer Almanac includes a helpful on-line manual and retails for $34.95. Hippo Jokes & Quotes gives Atari ST users fast access to thousands of insulting jokes, dirty jokes, rude jokes, silly jokes, one-liners, puns, and quotations. The product searches for specific jokes or quotes by keyword or author. The user can select jokes with a rating of PG, R, or X. Hippo Jokes & Quotes retails for $34.95, and may not be suitable for children. HippoArt I contains more than 30 full-color, detailed pictures in over 10 screens which can be manipulated with the Atari ST's Neo paint program. HippoArt I's categories include animals, food, nature, business graphics, vehicles and famous people. HippoArt I includes a slide show program and retails for $39.95. The Hippo EPROM Burner allows Atari ST users to program their own EPROMs. The product includes hardware and software to read, verify, and burn most popular types of EPROMs including 2764, 27128, 27256, and 27512s. The Hippo EPROM Burner generates all necessary voltages on board and connects to the Atari ST's printer port. EPROM cartridge boards are available separately. The Hippo EPROM Burner retails for $139.95. The HippoClean disk cleaning kit allows users to clean Atari ST 3-1/2 inch disk drive heads hundreds of times to save head wear. The kit, which includes a special head-cleaning disk, bottle of cleaning fluid, instructions, and box, retails for $29.95. Hippopotamus Software's complete line of Atari ST products is available at computer specialty outlets in the U.S. and Canada and in other selected foreign countries. Hippopotamus provides technical phone support for dealers and users who need assistance. Support is available Monday through Friday, from 8:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. (Pac`ific Standard Time). The number is (408) 395-3190. Interested persons can contact Hippopotamus for the name and location of their nearest dealer, or they can buy directly from Hippopotamus. Dealers can purchase Hippo products from national and international Atari distributors, or directly from Hippopotamus. Hippopotamus Software continues to develop new microcomputer software that is creative, fun-to-use and utilizes advanced software techniques. Call or write for information on new products. Hippopotamus Software, Inc. 985 University Avenue, Suite #12 Los Gatos, CA 95030 USA (408) 395-3190 mmvp; for k:=0 to tmvp-1 do mvlst[nextm+k+1]:=tmv[k]; nextm:=nextm+12 end; if tmp>0 then begin tmvp:=tmp; s1:=abs(tmv[tmp-1]); s2:=abs(tmv[tmp]); if sw2[s1]=s2 then tkn[sw1[s1]]:=0 else if nw2[s1]=s2 then tkn[nw1[s1]]:=0 else if ne2[s1]=s2 then tkn[ne1[s1]]:=0 else if se2[s1]=s2 then tkn[se1[s1]]:=0 end end; procedure move(ss,pc:integer); begin if (sw1[ss]<>0) and (pc<>1) then if brd[sw1[ss]]=0 then begin mvlst[nextm+1]:=ss; mvlst[nextm+2]:=sw1[ss]; mvlst[nextm]:=2; if (sw1[ss]>28) and (pc=-1) then begin mvlst[nextm+3]:=99; mvlst[nextm]:=3 end; nextm:=nextm+12 end; if (se1[ss]<>0) and (pc<>1) then if brd[se1[ss]]=0 then begin mvlst[nextm+1]:=ss; mvlst[nextm+2]:=se1[ss]; mvlst[nextm]:=2; if (se1[ss]>28) and (pc=-1) then begin mvlst[nextm+3]:=99; mvlst[nextm]:=3 end; nextm:=nextm+12 end; if (nw1[ss]<>0) and (pc<>-1) then if brd[nw1[ss]]=0 then begin mvlst[nextm+1]:=ss; mvlst[nextm+2]:=nw1[ss]; mvlst[nextm]:=2; if (nw1[ss]<5) and (pc=1) then begin mvlst[nextm+3]:=99; mvlst[nextm]:=3 end; nextm:=nextm+12 end; if (ne1[ss]<>0) and (pc<>-1) then if brd[ne1[ss]]=0 then begin mvlst[nextm+1]:=ss; mvlst[nextm+2]:=ne1[ss]; mvlst[nextm]:=2; if (ne1[ss]<5) and (pc=1) then begin mvlst[nextm+3]:=99; mvlst[nextm]:=3 end; nextm:=nextm+12 end end; procedure movegen(lvl:integer); var mbeg,colr,c:integer; begin tmvp:=0; if lvl mod 2=0 then colr:=1 else colr:=-1; if plyr=-1 then colr:=-colr; mbeg:=360*lvl; nextm:=mbeg; for c:=1 to 32 do if ((brd[c]<0) and (colr>0)) or ((brd[c]>0) and (colr<0)) then tkn[c]:=0 else tkn[c]:=1; for c:=1 to 32 do if (brd[c]<>0) and (tkn[c]<>0) then begin tmvp:=0; tpc:=brd[c]; brd[c]:=0; skip(c,tpc); brd[c]:=tpc end; if nextm=mbeg then for c:=1 to 32 do if (brd[c]<>0) and (tkn[c]<>0) then move(c,brd[c]); mvlst[nextm]:=0 end; procedure st(i,a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,v:integer); begin sw1[i]:=a; sw2[i]:=b; nw1[i]:=c; nw2[i]:=d; ne1[i]:=e; ne2[i]:=f; se1[i]:=g; se2[i]:=h; kval[i]:=v; end; procedure initarr; var c :integer; begin st(1,5,0,0,0,0,0,6,10,-30); st(2,6,9,0,0,0,0,7,11,-30); st(3,7,10,0,0,0,0,8,12,-30); st(4,8,11,0,0,0,0,0,0,-30); st(5,0,0,0,0,1,0,9,14,-30); st(6,9,13,1,0,2,0,10,15,-15); st(7,10,14,2,0,3,0,11,16,-15); st(8,11,15,3,0,4,0,12,0,-15); st(9,13,0,5,0,6,2,14,18,-15); st(10,14,17,6,1,7,3,15,19,15); st(11,15,18,7,2,8,4,16,20,15); st(12,16,19,8,3,0,0,0,0,-30); st(13,0,0,0,0,9,6,17,22,-30); st(14,17,21,9,5,10,7,18,23,15); st(15,18,22,10,6,11,8,19,24,30); st(16,19,23,11,7,12,0,20,0,-15);  st(17,21,0,13,0,14,10,22,26,-15); st(18,22,25,14,9,15,11,23,27,30); st(19,23,26,15,10,16,12,24,28,15); st(20,24,27,16,11,0,0,0,0,-30); st(21,0,0,0,0,17,14,25,30,-30); st(22,25,29,17,13,18,15,26,31,15); st(23,26,30,18,14,19,16,27,32,15); st(24,27,31,19,15,20,0,28,0,-15); st(25,29,0,21,0,22,18,30,0,-15); st(26,30,0,22,17,23,19,31,0,-15); st(27,31,0,23,18,24,20,32,0,-15); st(28,32,0,24,19,0,0,0,0,-30); st(29,0,0,0,0,25,22,0,0,-30); st(30,0,0,25,21,26,23,0,0,-30); st(31,0,0,26,22,27,24,0,0,-30); st(32,0,0,27,23,28,0,0,0,-30); for c:=1 to 8 do nx[c]:=0; for c:=9 to 32 do nx[c]:=c-8; for c:=1 to 24 do s[c]:=c+8; for c:=25 to 32 do s[c]:=0; for c:=1 to 32 do if (c-1) mod 4=0 then wx[c]:=0 else wx[c]:=c-1; for c:=1 to 32 do if (c-1) mod 4=3 then e[c]:=0 else e[c]:=c+1; end; function eval:integer; var score,n,w,b,bq,wq,cof : integer; cond : boolean; begin score:=0; w:=0; b:=0; bq:=0; wq:=0; for n:=1 to 32 do case brd[n] of -2: bq:=bq+1; -1: b:=b+1; 1: w:=w+1; 2: wq:=wq+1; end; if w+wq=0 then score:=-31000 else if b+bq=0 then score:=31000 else begin score:=w*1000+wq*2000-b*1000-bq*2000; for n:=5 to 28 do if brd[n]>0 then begin if brd[sw1[n]]>0 then score:=score+8; if brd[se1[n]]>0 then score:=score+8 end else if brd[n]<0 then begin if brd[nw1[n]]<0 then score:=score-8; if brd[ne1[n]]<0 then score:=score-8 end; if bq<2 then for n:=29 to 32 do if brd[n]=1 then score:=score+25; if wq<2 then for n:=1 to 4 do if brd[n]=-1 then score:=score-25; end; if plyr=-1 then score:=-score; if abs(score)<>31000 then begin cof:=1; if plyr=-1 then begin if b<5 then cof:=10; score:=score+(b-wq)*20; for w:=5 to 28 do if brd[w]=-1 then score:=score+((w-1) div 4)*cof end; if plyr=1 then begin if w<5 then cof:=10; score:=score+(w-bq)*20; for w:=5 to 28 do if brd[w]=1 then score:=score+((7-(w-1)) div 4)*cof end; if (wq>0) or (bq>0) then for n:=1 to 32 do case brd[n] of -2 : begin if plyr=-1 then score:=score+kval[i] else if wq>=bq then begin if brd[nw2[n]]=2 then score:=score+50; if brd[sw2[n]]=2 then score:=score+50; if brd[ne2[n]]=2 then score:=score+50; if brd[se2[n]]=2 then score:=score+50; if brd[nx[n]]=2 then score:=score+100; if brd[s[n]]=2 then score:=score+100; if brd[e[n]]=2 then score:=score+100; if brd[wx[n]]=2 then score:=score+100; end; end; 2 : begin if plyr=1 then score:=score+kval[i] else if bq>=wq then begin if brd[nw2[n]]=-2 then score:=score+50; if brd[sw2[n]]=-2 then score:=score+50; if brd[ne2[n]]=-2 then score:=score+50; if brd[se2[n]]=-2 then score:=score+50; if brd[nx[n]]=-2 then score:=score+100; if brd[s[n]]=-2 then score:=score+100; if brd[e[n]]=-2 then score:=score+100; if brd[wx[n]]=-2 then score:=score+100; end; end; end; end; eval:=score end; procedure restore(pos:integer); var cnt,rs,rsc,pc,sq1,sq2 :integer; begin cnt:=mvlst[pos]+pos; if mvlst[cnt]=99 then begin cnt:=cnt-1; pc:=brd[mvlst[cnt]] div 2 end else pc:=brd[mvlst[cnt]]; if pc<0 then rs:=1 else rs:=-1; if abs(abs(mvlst[cnt])-abs(mvlst[cnt-1]))<6 then begin brd[mvlst[cnt-1]]:=pc; brd[mvlst[cnt]]:=0 end else while cnt>pos+1 do begin sq2:=abs(mvlst[cnt]); sq1:=abs(mvlst[cnt-1]); if se2[sq2]=sq1 then rsc:=se1[sq2] else if sw2[sq2]=sq1 then rsc:=sw1[sq2] else if nw2[sq2]=sq1 then rsc:=nw1[sq2] else if ne2[sq2]=sq1 then rsc:=ne1[sq2]; brd[sq2]:=0; brd[sq1]:=pc; if mvlst[cnt-1]>0 then brd[rsc]:=rs else brd[rsc]:=rs*2; cnt:=cnt-1 end end; procedure update(pos:integer); var lst,cnt,pc,klc,sq1,sq2 : integer; begin cnt:=pos+1; pc:=brd[abs(mvlst[cnt])]; lst:=mvlst[pos]+pos; if mvlst[lst]=99 then begin lst:=lst-1; pc:=pc*2 end; if abs(abs(mvlst[cnt])-abs(mvlst[cnt+1]))<6 then begin brd[mvlst[cnt]]:=0; brd[mvlst[cnt+1]]:=pc end else while cnt0) do begin if abs(mvlst[p])=code then fnd:=true; p:=p+12 end; if fnd then begin plyr:=-plyr; alok:=true; movegen(0); first:=true; if mvlst[0]<>0 then begin repeat if first then begin mv[1]:=code; square:=2 end else square:=square-1; first:=false; fin:=false; repeat menu_enable(a_menu,can_mov); convert_g(mv[square-1],i,j); line_color(0); if mono then line_color(1); rectangle; if square>2 then begin convert_g(mv[square-2],i,j); line_color(3); rectangle; end; repeat which:=get_event( E_Message | E_Button, 1, 1, 1, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, msg, dummy, dummy, dummy, mx, my, dummy ); my:=trunc(my/mul); if (which=E_Message) and (msg[4]=can_mov) then begin line_color(3); menu_normal(a_menu,msg[3]); for p:=1 to square do begin convert_g(mv[p],i,j); if mono then begin hide_mouse; paint_style(6); paint_rect(50*i+150,(20*j-6)*mul,50,20*mul); vixbrd[mv[p]]:=0; print_board; show_mouse; end else rectangle; end; alok:=false; plyr:=-plyr; goto 5; end; my:=my-12; i:=((mx-200) div 50)+1; j:=((my-14) div 20)+1; if (which=e_button) and (mx>199) and (mx<601) and (my>1) and (my<173) then ok:=true else ok:=false; if ((i mod 2=0) and (j mod 2=0)) or ((i mod 2=1) and (j mod 2=1)) then ok:=false; until ok and (which=E_Button); convert_s(i,j,n); mv[square]:=n; pr:=false; p:=0; fnd:=false; while (mvlst[p]<>0) and (not fnd) do begin found:=true; for pnt:=1 to square do if abs(mvlst[pnt+p])<>mv[pnt] then found:=false; if found then fnd:=true; p:=p+12 end; p:=p-12; square:=square+1; if ((mvlst[square+p]=99) or (square>mvlst[p])) and (fnd) then fin:=true until (fin) or (not fnd) until fin end; lm:=mv; convert_g(mv[square-2],i,j); line_color(3); if mono then line_color(0); rectangle; update(p); plyr:=-plyr; movegen(0); if (eval<-30000) or (mvlst[0]=0) then begin print_message('I LOSE...',false); over:=true; alok:=false; end end; menu_disable(a_menu,can_mov); which:=get_event( E_Button, 1, 0, 1, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, msg, dummy, dummy, dummy, mx, my, dummy ); 5:end; procedure alphbet; label 20; var score : array[-1..MAXP1] of integer; mp !: array[0..MAXP1] of integer; ply,c,d,f,r1,r2,h,maxsr : integer; tt !: integer; xt,any,prdone,diff : boolean; function t_settime(time:integer):integer; gemdos($2d); begin sonia:=' '; set_mouse(M_Bee); oldbrd:=brd; tt:=t_settime(0); sc ore[1]:=eval; movegen(0); if (mvlst[12]=0) and not near then begin for c:=0 to 11 do princ[c+12,1]:=mvlst[c]; set_mouse(M_Arrow); show_move(0); update(0); goto 20 end; maxsr:=1; if timelim=0 then maxsr:=4; repeat sonia[maxsr]:='.'; if timelim<>0 then print_message(sonia,false); score[-1]:=-32000; score[0]:=32000; ply:=0; prdone:=false; if timelim=0 then prdone:=true; repeat any:=true; while (ply<>maxsr) and any do begin movegen(ply); if (not prdone) and (maxsr<>1) then begin d:=ply*360; diff:=true; while (mvlst[d]<>0) and (diff) do begin diff:=false; for c:=0 to mvlst[d] do if mvlst[d+c]<>princ[12*ply+12+c,1] then diff:=true; d:=d+12 end; if not diff then begin d:=d-12; for c:=0 to 11 do begin mvlst[d+c]:=mvlst[360*ply+c]; mvlst[360*ply+c]:=princ[12*ply+12+c,1] end end else prdone:=true; if ply=maxsr-1 then prdone:=true end; if mvlst[ply*360]=0 then any:=false; if any then begin score[ply+1]:=score[ply-1]; mp[ply+1]:=360*ply; ply:=ply+1; update(mp[ply]); end end; if not any then if ply mod 2=0 then score[ply+1]:=-31000 else score[ply+1]:=31000 else score[ply+1]:=eval; xt:=false; repeat if ((ply mod 2=0) and (score[ply+1]<=score[ply-1])) or ((ply mod 2=1) and (score[ply+1]>=score[ply-1])) then begin restore(mp[ply]); ply:=ply-1 end else if ((ply mod 2=0) and (score[ply+1]score[ply])) then begin score[ply]:=score[ply+1]; if ply0 then xt:=true until (xt) or (ply=0); if (ply<>0) or xt then begin mp[ply+1]:=mp[ply+1]+12; ply:=ply+1; update(mp[ply]); end; until (ply=0) and (not xt); maxsr:=maxsr+1; until (maxsr=dmax+1) or (score[1]=31000) or ((clock>timelim) and (maxsr>6)); hide_mouse; pnt_color(3); for c:=13 to lij do if (ii[c]<>0) and (jj[c]<>0) then begin i:=ii[c]; j:=jj[c]; paint_rect(50*i+150,(20*j-6)*mul,10,4*mul) end; pnt_color(0); show_mouse; brd:=oldbrd; hide_mouse; paint_rect(10,17*mul,170,10*mul); show_mouse; for d:=12 to 23 do mvlst[d]:=princ[d,1]; if (score[1]=31000) and ((maxsr-2) div 2<>0) and (timelim<>0) then begin sonia:='I win in ... '; near:=true; sonia[10]:=chr((maxsr-2) div 2+ord('0')); print_message(sonia,false); end; set_mouse(M_arrow); show_move(12); update(12); 20: movegen(1); if (eval>30000) or (mvlst[360]=0) then begin print_message('*** I WIN! ***',false); over:=true end end; procedure init; var ans : char; ac : array[1..4] of char; row,i,sq: integer; begin for sq:=1 to 12 do brd[sq]:=-1; for sq:=13 to 20 do brd[sq]:=0; for sq:=21 to 32 do brd[sq]:=1; end; begin if init_gem>=0 then begin init_mouse; mono:=false; mul:=1; for c:=1 to 32 do brd[c]:=0; vixbrd:=brd; clrbrd:=brd; jedit:=false; jinit:=false; near:=false; full:=false; brd[0]:=0; ok:=true; init_screen; set_menu; menu_disable(a_menu,quit_edi); menu_disable(a_menu,clr_brd); menu_disable(a_menu,strt_gme); menu_disable(a_menu,can_mov); menu_check(a_menu,t_white,true); menu_check(a_menu,red_bot,true); menu_check(a_menu,level[0],true); initarr; lij:=13; ii[13]:=2; jj[13]:=1; over:=true; plyr:=1; top:=false; timelim:=0; dmax:=4; repeat which:=get_event( E_Message | E_Button, 1, 1, 1, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, msg, dummy, dummy, dummy, mx, my, dummy ); my:=trunc(my/mul); if ok then begin which:=E_Timer; ok:=false; end;  if (which=E_Message) and ((msg[0]=WM_Redraw) or (msg[3]=3)) then redraw; if (which=e_button) and (mx>199) and (mx<601) and (my>13) and (my<185) and not over then begin my:=my-12; i:=((mx-200) div 50)+1; j:=((my-14) div 20)+1; if ((i mod 2=1) and (j mod 2=0)) or ((i mod 2=0) and (j mod 2=1)) then begin convert_s(i,j,code); vixbrd:=brd; getmove; print_board; if alok then begin vixbrd:=brd; if not jinit then alphbet else begin jinit:=false; mvlst[0]:=2; if (lm[1]=9) and (lm[2]=13) then begin mvlst[1]:=22; mvlst[2]:=18; end; if (lm[1]=9) and (lm[2]=14) then begin mvlst[1]:=22; mvlst[2]:=18; end; if (lm[1]=10) and (lm[2]=14) then begin mvlst[1]:=22; mvlst[2]:=17; end; if (lm[1]=10) and (lm[2]=15) then begin mvlst[1]:=21; mvlst[2]:=17; end; if (lm[1]=11) and (lm[2]=15) then begin mvlst[1]:=23; mvlst[2]:=18; end; if (lm[1]=11) and (lm[2]=16) then begin mvlst[1]:=22; mvlst[2]:=18; end; if (lm[1]=12) and (lm[2]=16) then begin mvlst[1]:=24; mvlst[2]:=20; end; show_move(0); vixbrd:=brd; update(0); print_board; end; print_board end; end; end; if (msg[3]=title1) and (which=E_Message) then begin menu_normal(a_menu,msg[3]); if (msg[4]=edit_brd) then begin jinit:=false; hide_mouse; pnt_color(0); paint_rect(10,17*mul,150,10*mul); show_mouse; setup; for c:=1 to 32 do if (brd[c]<>0) then menu_enable(a_menu,strt_gme); over:=true; near:=false; end else if msg[4]=strt_gme then begin which:=get_event( E_Button, 1, 0, 1, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, false, 0, 0, 0, 0, msg, dummy, dummy, dummy, mx, my, dummy ); over:=false; if jedit then begin jedit:=false; vixbrd:=brd; movegen(0); if mvlst[0]<>0 then begin alphbet; print_board; end else begin print_message('I LOSE...',false); over:=true; print_board; end end else if plyr=-1 then begin jinit:=false; sq:=abs(gia_read(0) mod 100); mvlst[0]:=2; mvlst[1]:=11; mvlst[2]:=15; if sq<50 then begin mvlst[0]:=2; mvlst[1]:=9; mvlst[2]:=14 end; show_move(0); vixbrd:=brd; update(0); print_board; end; menu_disable(a_menu,strt_gme); end else if (msg[4]=init_brd) then begin jinit:=true; jedit:=false; hide_mouse; pnt_color(0); paint_rect(10,17*mul,150,10*mul); show_mouse; vixbrd:=brd; init; near:=false; over:=true; full:=true; print_board; full:=false; menu_enable(a_menu,strt_gme); end else if (msg[4]=red_top) then begin top:=true; menu_check(a_menu,red_bot,false); menu_check(a_menu,red_top,true); vixbrd:=clrbrd; full:=true; print_board; full:=false; end else if (msg[4]=red_bot) then begin menu_check(a_menu,red_bot,true); menu_check(a_menu,red_top,false); top:=false; vixbrd:=clrbrd; full:=true; print_board; full:=false; end else if (msg[4]=t_black) then begin  menu_check(a_menu,t_black,true); menu_check(a_menu,t_white,false); jinit:=false; if plyr=1 then begin plyr:=-1; if not over then begin vixbrd:=brd; alphbet; print_board; end; end; end else if (msg[4]=t_white) then begin jinit:=false; menu_check(a_menu,t_black,false); menu_check(a_menu,t_white,true); if plyr=-1 then begin plyr:=1; if not over then begin vixbrd:=brd; alphbet; print_board; end; end; end; end; if (which=E_Message) and (msg[3]=title2) then begin menu_normal(a_menu,msg[3]); for c:=0 to 6 do begin menu_check(a_menu,level[c],false); if (msg[4]=level[c]) then begin case c of 0:timelim:=0; 1:timelim:=15; 2:timelim:=60; 3:timelim:=150; 4:timelim:=600; 5:timelim:=3600; 6:timelim:=14400; end; if c=0 then dmax:=4 else dmax:=MAX; menu_check(a_menu,level[c],true); end; end; end; until (which=E_Message) and (msg[4]=quit); end; 50: quit_prg; end.  |@@@|@@@| |@@@|@@@@ <BB@NBBB> BBBB~BBBB @@@@@@@@@ p BDHP`PHDB @@@@@@@@| @@``Q@Q@J@J@D@D@ BbbRRJJFF <BBBBBBB< |BBB|@@@@ <BBBBBBJ<|BBB|BBBB <B@@<B< `(i( o"h###,Oc.N//Bg?<JNA BbByNNNV?.?. ?<NNN^ _ON/,HNVAz-H09@d`0. rAfBgN` ?<N0. 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SYQa@%oNˏ'?9x!7I|o|@Eŭ+E75vV 9@{pvP *** Floating point overflow *** *** Floating point division by zero *** Nu#N _ ged 9NNHyf`HyrN8t`t _"_0gR@| e.GJ$S" ghjebb"*f&"`v&A%S"`l&J`ذ|gb*|f8"9>g0$A#>`""9Bg$A#B`"9Fg $A#F"`"E&R"$b HyRN8Jgr"QHd2S@k"QN _"_0" ged gR@ @mz @ e@EJ"fB3@B$`\&A2+@ef "'I`F"3@B$`8$K`ư|f"F#F` |f"B#B` ">#>NHeap overruns stackPointer NILPointer not in heapH`?<,NAT24HAI<Ёr jЂLNu&_4"_jtEn  SB*(y/,,/  HynUBkQBBg?<KNANHN _0"_jp&yr+t$IS@k,RB  WfSBkBkG$I0(K Vg RQBg`?</LNNu _ hNVf 0(gr"OD@Hd2S@k "Q` _"ye HyN8N## .f -|`-| nNнf yNStack overruns heapH? _z gBjDRE"g8jDRE$6HBJBg8HAJAf,HBJBf$ւi EdD.` $HB8`B/L?Nu0NvDNH|` H| _z f0NjDRE"g`jDREdJgR(`DfxJg<`DxSDbb JgHA8`"tcRЀ`xeWJg(MdD.`B/LNu09Nu _3NByNu[3][4][ Abort ]Copyright 1986, CCD and OSS, Inc.   -,28     8    <,*  "  ,,     | 8^ 4 ~( "  ,$0 0 0 0 0 02,  . , 8    n     ,^&   ,  ""  " &   $&   $&   $&   $P        *&   " &   " &   " &   " (& (&  $ *,,&:<P " & DF$0L2Lh$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ "$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ n"  ,(  $B,&  "4&($ &6  ,    "&Dl>0,B( 0  0d&"f , :b R R    $ ,(0p&(      2                    0 6                      *  $Z(d ($&$:42,0&$*,0.4\.0DX<"$>,$8(l*lrh\,&D0T>0,8&&,F.:FFFF*@4n(>2020nD(."F<"..ZJ"4\ZBBL:\  .$@$$2$*|4$&&$$6   $LD"2 T &( 0&  >        L z  f H F  J  <   , F"L2 V  %3 ASCII Value Character Keyboard Entry -* 52 4 4 53 5 5 54 6 6 55 7 7 56 8 8 57 9 9 58 : Shift - : 59 ; ; 60 < Shift - < 61 = = 62 > Shift - > 63 ? Shift - ? 64 @ Shift - @ ASCII Value Character Keyboard Entry -* 65