B U R E A U C R A C Y --------------------- BUREAUCRACY is an Infocom Interactive Fiction Plus by Douglas Adams and the staff of Infocom. It's a zany game filled with difficult puzzles. Merlin and I played the game together, and without his help and encouragement, I'd still be stuck at 5 (or maybe 6) points. Special thanks to Merlin for making this walkthru possible! As with most Infocom games, there may be alternate solutions. This walkthru offers one possible solution. You have left your previous job to accept employment with Happitec and you have moved to a new address. Happitec is sending you on a vacation to Paris. All you have to do is wait for the money order which Happitec is sending to you, pick up your plane ticket, and board the plane. So you think! It seems the removals company has misplaced all your belongings. The Change of Address card which you were to file somehow got sent to your old address. The new owner of your old home sent your mail to your old bank. Check out your wallet and you'll find that you have no money, an expired US Excess card and a Beezer card. Your new home contains a few meager possessions, i.e., your Boysenberry computer, a telephone/answering machine and a few miscellaneous items. Take everything you can for you'll need everything you can find to solve this game. Listen to the messages on the telephone/answering machine. Consult your Address Book and call all the numbers listed. You'll learn a lot by doing this. The doorbell rings. Chowmail Overnite is delivering a large bag of Llamex(R) brand High-Fibre Llama Treats. You didn't order it, the address is wrong; but, you'll never be able to explain anything to the delivery man, so just give him your Beezer card. You are now the proud owner of a bag of llama treats! There's nothing else to do in the house for now, so explore your new neighborhood starting with your mailbox. The mail found in each location seems to be random. For example, in one game you might find a leaflet in the mailbox and in another game find a flyer in the mailbox. That isn't important. The postage is important so try to remember what type of postage was used and the order in which you find it. The mail you find in your mailbox has a postage stamp on it. Go to the bookstore. You'll notice it's actually a software store. Talk to the clerk. Ask him about software. He'll offer you a *special* cart which he keeps under the counter. SHOW the game cartridge to the clerk. He'll take it and give you a Recipe Cart. I found that I got a point for this, but did not get a point if I said TRADE cartridges. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 1 OF A POSSIBLE 21 POINTS. Go to the Travel Agency. Give the letter to the Agent and get your round-trip ticket to Paris. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 2 OF A POSSIBLE 21 POINTS. Go to the bank and try to file a Change-of-Address form. Lots of luck! The bank has already sent you a Change-of-Address form and one is all you are allowed. Too bad it was sent to your old address. Go to the old tenement building. There are stairs leading up and a door in the south wall. Nothing can be done about the blank wall at the top of the stairs, so forget it. Knock on the south door. A voice will answer and the door will open. Enter the flat which is occupied by a mousy little man. Seems he collects stamps. You will see some mail in the floor but the man won't let you pick it up. Show the stamped envelope to the man. He'll grab it and run out of the flat. Pick up the mail. Notice the Postal Service sticker. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 3 OF A POSSIBLE 21 POINTS. By this time you will probably be getting hungry, so go to the Restaurant. The waitress will take your order then return to tell you that your order was lost due to a computer crash. Of course, it's her break time, so someone else will take your order. You must go through the long ordering process all over again. Wait for your order and eat whatever you get. You have no money to pay the bill, so sneak out the back door of the restaurant into the alley. From the alley you can squeeze through a gap in the fence to arrive at Behind Mansion. Enter the back door of the mansion. Here you'll find a macaw sitting on a perch. You can see some mail under the perch but the macaw will not allow you to take it. Go into the Trophy Room. It's a good idea to save the game first because the old woman shoots. Make a fast exit. Go to the front door of the mansion and ring the bell, then beat feet to the back door. Return to the Trophy Room, grab the painting of Ronald W. Reagan and exit. Show the painting to the macaw then take the mail from under the perch. Notice the Postal Service sticker. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 5 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Go to the llama farm. Open the bag of llama treats. Push the bag through the mailbox so that it falls into the trough. While the llama is eating the treats, take the mail from the trough. Notice the Postal Service sticker. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 6 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Try to enter the farmhouse. The door won't budge. You must go away and return later. Go south to the gate. There's an intercom at the gate. It will crackle to life and a voice will say, "Unfortunately, there's a radio connected to my brain." Could this be a password? Go back to the farmhouse. A heavily armed man resembling Woody Allen will appear in the doorway. He is rather dazed -- not sure where he is or who you are. Say: "Unfortunately, there's a radio connected to my brain." He will respond with: "Actually, it's the BBC controlling us from London." You can try more conversation or merely wait for him to leave. Return to the gate. Again, the voice over the intercom will say, "Unfortunately, there's a radio connected to my brain." You must say, "Actually, it's the BBC controlling us from London." The gate will open. Enter the Foyer. You'll meet the paranoid owner of the house and discover the armed man is here also. The paranoid householder suspects you are an impostor so he will ask you a series of questions. To answer correctly, you must refer to the "Popular Paranoia" magazine which is included in your game package. One wrong answer and you're dead. Answer them all correctly and you'll find yourself in a gaol cell in the basement of the paranoid's house. Examine the gaol door. Try cutting the molybdenum bars with the hacksaw. The armed man will give you the Swiss army knife. Examination of the knife will reveal a button marked POWER SAW and a lever marked GENERATOR. Push the button then pull the lever. Examine both the saw and the generator. Take the power saw and plug it into the generator. Get on the generator (it resembles a bicycle) and start pedaling. Oops! You can't reach the bars while sitting on the generator, so give the power saw to the armed man. He'll cut the door open for you. It's best to stall around in the Basement allowing the armed man to go up the stairs before you. The paranoid man and the armed man will depart. You'll see some mail in the foyer. Don't be surprised if you can't pick up the money order which you want so badly. Take the envelope. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 7 OF A POSSIBLE 21. The envelope contains a memo and a cheque. The check is drawn on the Fillmore Fiduciary Trust in the amount of -$75.00. Yes, that's a minus sign. Go to the bank. Get a withdrawal slip. Fill it out then take it to the Deposit window. Give the cheque and the withdrawal slip to the teller. You are depositing -$75.00 using a withdrawal slip which is the negative of a deposit slip, negative -$75 is $75. Makes perfect sense. Then go back to the withdrawal window. Fill out another withdrawal slip and withdraw $75.00. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 8 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Now that you have money, you might want to return to the restaurant to pay your bill. You are ready to go to the Airport. Call Getlost Airport Cab (number listed in your Address Book). Wait for the taxi. Oh, the Airport is a fun place! Since you have an Omnia Gallia ticket, you should go directly to the Omnia Gallia desk. Alas, Omnia Gallia has been sold. For further information you must go to the Air Galagasa desk. How do you find it? Well, the way that worked for me was going back to the airport entrance, then going through Lost and Found. Air Zalagasa seems to be north of the Lost and Found. It doesn't matter how early or late you arrive at the Air Zalagasa desk. A fat man will always be in line ahead of you and he'll cause you to miss the plane. Not to worry. When your turn finally comes, give the Omnia Gallia ticket to the clerk in exchange for an Air Zalagasa ticket. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 9 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Once you have the Air Zalagasa ticket in your hot little hand, go south one move and climb the pillar. Open the grate and climb up the duct. You'll eventually reach the Control Tower. A console radio will crackle, "Air Zalagasa flight 42 requests permission to take off." Say: "Controller, permission denied." Go back to the top of the pillar and examine the speaker. Pull red wire then pull black wire. Connect red wire to black wire. You have short circuited all the speakers in the terminal. The applause of the crowd is deafening! YOUR SCORE IS NOW 11 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Before you know what's happening, you'll find yourself on the plane in seat 3B. Shortly thereafter, the attendant will bring you a bowl of llama stew. Eat the stew and you die. Refuse to eat it and you die. How can you get rid of the stew? The only way I could get rid of it was to cause the seat ahead of me to recline, thus spilling the stew. By wearing the headphones, changing seats, and pushing buttons, you'll learn that the whole system is mixed up. The light button reclines the seats but you'll have to experiment to determine which light button controls which seat. (Thanks again to Merlin for his help!) Here's one way to do it: Before the attendant brings the stew, move to Seat 3C. Wait a few turns. The attendant will bring the stew. Leave it on your fold-out table and move to Seat 8D. Push the light button which actually reclines the seat ahead of Seat 3C. That seat will recline, thus spilling the stew. After the stew is spilled, return to Seat 3C. You'll see a small piece of laminated card. Examine this and take note of the words "STINGLAI KA'ABI." There will be a telephone call for you, so go to the phone. Most likely, it will be the waitress asking about the tip you left her. The line will be disconnected and you'll overhear another conversation. About this time the flight attendant will ask you to return to your seat; however, she will linger, giving you a chance to talk to her. Say: Attendant, STINGLAI KA'ABI. You'll receive a parachute. Go to the rear of the plane, open hatch, and jump out. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 12 OF A POSSIBLE 21. My Gawd! One strap of your parachute is caught in the plane's hatch. This can be deadly. Chances are you'll soon be falling without a parachute! Knock on the hatch. The attendant will open it, freeing your parachute strap. Falling! Don't forget to pull the rip cord. Hanging from a tree! Yep, you landed in a tree. Get out of the parachute. Splash! You are now in a cooking pot. Okay, the natives are hungry, so give them a good recipe. Boot up your Boysenberry and insert the Recipe Cart. The natives will give you an unlabelled cartridge and return your lost address book. Don't ask me how they got it. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 14 OF A POSSIBLE 21. You are now in the Antechamber. Not clear how you got here. You'll see a closed locker door in the west wall and an exit to the east. Examine the locker door and read the sign. The left handle is pointing up. The middle handle is pointing down. The right handle is pointing up. It's a key of sorts. A general knowledge of binary helps. Okay, here's a solution: (1) Turn left handle and middle handle. You hear a click inside the door. (2) Turn left handle and right handle. You hear a click inside the door. (3) Turn left handle and middle handle. You hear a sharp click,as if something inside the door had moved. Open door. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 15 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Enter the locker and take the magnetic key-card. Then go east. You're in the Switchgear Rooms; it's a maze! Time to use your Boysenberry computer, so insert the unlabelled cartridge. Remember, earlier in this walkthru I advised you to notice the Postal Service stickers and the order in which you found them. Hope you paid attention, because you need that info now. I found the Postal stickers in this order: C, D, E and B. The computer program (unlabelled cartridge) gives you a list of commands: CLEAR, NOOZ, PRINTB, PRINTC, PRINTD, PRINTE. You must select the PRINT commands in the same order that you found the postal stickers. I used PRINTC, PRINTD, PRINTE, and PRINTB because that's the order in which I found the postal stickers. When you have done this, you should have a complete message on the screen. Can't read it? Oh, I forget to tell you: read from top to bottom one letter at a time. Using these instructions you should be able to find your way through the maze to the Airlock. In the Airlock, put the key-card in the card reader slot. You'll hear a bolt snapping back. Open the door. It will take several tries. Enter the Persecution Complex! YOUR SCORE IS NOW 17 OF A POSSIBLE 21. The Persecution Complex is a long hall running west. There are TV screens on each side of the hall. Go west looking at the screens on either side as you go. At the end of the hall you'll find a modular plug. Plug in your computer. You'll be asked for ID and password. What? Okay, take a look at your Address Book. Notice anything different? Right! The first address has been changed. That's the clue you need. Type in RANDOM-Q-HACKER for ID and RAINBOW-TURTLE for password. Connection will be made. Use command DIR for a listing of programs, WHO for a listing of users, and TYP for some *interesting* tidbits. You'll learn that two hackers have accessed the system. You are one; the nerd is the other. You'll also be be advised when the Nerd is about to access another file. The TYP command will enable you to learn of a certain file which should NOT be used with a friendly computer. Hmmm, what if you changed the name of that file? So, change the name of DVH2.HAK to whatever file the Nerd is preparing to access. Example: Nerd is about to access FIDUC.HAK. Change name of DVH2.HAK to FICUC.HAK. It might be necessary to first change the name of FIDUC.HAK to something else, but you'll have plenty of time to do that. By doing this, you will cause the Nerd to access a file which will destroy his own mainframe. Revenge is sweet! Once you have done this, an opening to the west will appear. It is *IMPORTANT* to run the PLANE.EXE program at some time before you reap your revenge. This will cause a plane to be sent to get you. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 20 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Wait patiently at the Landing Strip. The plane you summoned while using the PLANE.EXE program will eventually arrive. You'll be taken on a nice plane trip and a predictable taxi ride, arriving at the Hallway of the Tenement. From there, go to your home. You'll find a new letter from Fiduciary apologizing for the problems you've had. Enclosed in the letter you'll find a ticket to Paris, your checkbook and a new Beezer card. Note: The author's description ends at this point. I guess he leaves it up to us to figure out how to continue from here..... *********